so. i dont know how to start this story but its completely true and ive been so overwhelmed i think i have to just write it down.
about two and a half years ago i became friends with a girl who i became close with and loved her personality. but after fighting over a few stupid crushes we stopped being friends.. she started seriously dated a man that she fell madly in love, who i will call J, but there relationship was awful and they both seemed miserable.. long story short i mistakenly fell in love with J.. which led to alot of drama, court problem, restraining orders, and she fought too hard for him so i let him go. gave him back to her.. we hated eachother. i think we have both wanted to kill eachother at some point. although i felt for her in many ways. afterall we were in love with the same man! he lied to both of us and was schemey with both of us...
soooo yeah after me and J part ways and its official that me and my friend hated eachother..
i went on with my life basically, got a boyfriend, who i moved in with and we have three cats lol
and my friend and J ended up actually getting married and having a baby...
two years down the road im in the grocery store and BAM! there he is! J standing right in front of my face and like what the fuck i looked ike shit ! lol his face.. i missed his face so much.. i just wonder how he was doing.. or how both of them were doing really... it was never my intentions to become enemies with both of them. needless to say i thought i was in love with him all over again... or not all over again more like im still just in love with him...
although dont get me wrong i still love my boyfriend very much! hes all ive known these past two years, hes my rock.
i began texting him again which pissed my friend (now his wife)off.
anyywayyy, she texts me all like "hey what the fuck back off my husband"
and i was basically like "heyyy why cant it all work out?? lol"
i told her that i was too old do bitch back and forth again and bring eachother to court again.. i told her to have a face to face conversation with me, and that i would pick her up and everything so we could just talk it out. i told her weve both done alot of hurt to eachother and we should just hear eachother out and she said thats fair..
i pick her up..
we basically spend an hour chatting and giggling like little girls...
i was beside myself; shocked that i was finding her so..... fucking gorgeous. i dont even know like what the fuck?? have you ever had feelings for your worst enemy in the world???? or at least thats what i thought she was...

her face..is so beautiful.. i love and adore every scar on her.. every freckle.. her everchanging grey green eyes.. her full pink lips... ive never even kissed her.. and someone how ever since we hung out the first time i havnt been able to take my mind off of the dirty things i would do to her. and on a more serious level ive never felt this way about a girl before... ive played around with girls but ive never had this feeling... i dont even know what this feeling is i just know im so scared of losing her and its only been like a week of being close again..
i dream about holding her and cuddling her when i fall asleep and her face is the first thing in my mind when i open my eyes.. i wish she could be there in the morning..
the unsettling fact is that shes still married..
and although i think she likes me back the same, i know shes still madley in love with him...
and i know hes still in love with her..which pains me both! im in love with both of them! im so fucking selfish...
but the truth is im more infatuated and in love with her then i ever was with J....
im so madley in love with her! i never thought this could be possible for me i didnt think i could fall in love with girls i thought it was just sex for me...
now me and her hang out, and sneak around J's back! ha! the irony!! like what is going on???? this is crazy! but i honestly cant help how i feel about this beautiful girl! who has matured so much since i last knew her.. i love the person shes become after having her baby.. i feeel like this situation is doomed for me however i dont understand why this love traingle continues to knock on my door two years later after i had been done and moved on. btw my boyfriend is okay with me being with woman so the fact that i dont have to hide her from him is just fab.