I will never forget my brother whose gone on to be with Jesus now. He was killed in Afganistan by an IED when his unit was on patrol. One of the last things he did before leaving for Afganistan was let me know how beautiful I was and how growing up he had it bad for me even tho I was his sister. I was flattered somewhat but not surprised then he told me joining the military was his idea of getting away from me and maybe distance would help him break the constant fantasizing about me. He went on to tell me how it bothered him a lot knowing I was having sex with my b/f's and with his own friends that came over wishing he was them and many times I would have sex with his friends in full view while watching tv after school. I was spoiled by our parents and I was and am still conceited today. I love my brother but never thought about him sexually,maybe because I didn't have to. I mean there were always some guy around with a hard cock to get with so I did just that. My parents didn't mind and it was my dad that took me for my birth control appointment and they let guys stay over alot except family night and my brother watched this and I never knew but I was wrapped up in my lil world. I don't know if I can finish this or not. I miss him soo damn much. That night I told my brother I was scared of him going and he said he was to but more scared of staying feeling the way he did. I broke down in front of him apologizing for everything and he stood me back up and reassured me I did nothing wrong and that I was living my life and having fun like I should've done. I knew he was right but I did a lot of stuff to cause this like sucking his friends dick just 3 inches from him on the couch and not getting dressed sometimes walking around our house naked I can see where even a brother can get turned on by that. We were close growing up and before he left for Afganistan I walked in from shopping and he was laying on the couch aI went into my room and put on an outfit and modeled it for him and asked his opinion and he thought it was sexy so I had two more and went and got them brought them where he was and changed into the next one right there. He liked it and after the last outfit and he liked it I undressed threw my arms up and asked if he liked this one,he said now that's my favorite I said, Oh,it is,is it. He said yeah. I stood directly in front of him and said,well. He acted stunned so I pushed him back on the couch and straddled him and kissed him for the first not as a brother but as boyfriend. I said ok lover fuck me and he did. It didn't last long due to his inexperience but I was happy,then he went off to war and got killed. I will miss you always Derrick.