I grew up in a violent household, with my real father always drunk and always beating on my mom. She wouldn't leave him, neither would she deny him sex whenever or wherever he wanted it. So sometimes myself and my brother would walk in on them fucking. At the age of nine my father was killed in a car accident, and yes he was drunk at the wheel.

My mom met Sean three years after my fathers death and a year later they got married. Sean and my moms relationship couldn't have been more different. His relationship with myself and my brother was also one of complete difference to the one we had with my father. There was respect and an almost loving side to our times spent with each other. And it was in building that relationship for me anyway, that had me falling for my step dad.

I'd listen in on purpose to my mom and Sean making love and I'd masturbate, thinking, imagining and hopeing one day it would be me he was thrusting his manhood into. My heart and my sexuality wanted that so much, but my mind told me how wrong that would be, and for years I kept all my thoughts and longing to myself. But it never stopped me loving and wanting him sexually from afar.

At the start of the spring this year, my mom was diagnosed with an incurable illness that is only going to get worse and will eventually in the not to distant future, end her life. The first couple of months were very hard on both my mom and Sean, and I completely disregarded any thoughts I had for Sean, to help to look after my mom.

As her illness progressed I found myself spending more and more time with the 37 year old man, who had married my mother and who was now making sure she had everything she wanted, if possible. The summer was spent as a family, with my brother even involving himself to a degree I've not seen before. But I did notice my brothers lack of singular interaction with Sean when we were together.

Now the confession.

My moms condition has deteriorated to the point of her needing a wheelchair to be move around. It's mainly Sean aswell myself who now care for her, as my brother has started at University. It's given us lots of time to be together and for Sean and I to become even closer. I started to notice him looking at me in a way that wasn't purely plutonic and all my old feeling of lust for him began to surface again. I don't know if it was easilly noticed by my mom, but she asked to speak to me privately two weeks ago.

The bulk of the conversation we had I'll not go into. But the main point she wanted to put across was she wanted experience sexual enjoyment through me and Sean before she can no longer interact in a cognitive way. In essence she wants to be present, because she's no longer capable, as her husband makes love to me.

Her and Sean had strongly percieved I'd had a crush on Sean all along and in their private moments recently, they'd openly discussed the possibility of Sean fulfilling my and latterly my mothers sexual longings. Walking out of the house after the conversation, I had a mixture of emotions. Hurt, loss, anxiety and the most powerful one was an overwhelming lust to finally have what I dreamt of for years, and that's having Seans naked body touching mine as he drove his hard shaft inside of me.

Christmas Eve is the night we have all decided will be my "present" to my mother. It's not a normal situation and one I know many people couldn't or wouldn't contemplate. That's why my brother doesn't know and won't know because he's not arriving back home until the 26th. I'm not sure if my brother would ever approve and I fear it would only distance his relationship with Sean. So on Christmas Eve I will make love to my step father for the first time and help give all three of us, Sean my mom and myself, the last perfect present together as a family.