Straight Male / 51
When I was much younger that I am today (say about thirty five years ago +/-) I really was a total slut (well if I had been a female that is what I would have been called). However being a male I was just considered to be a normal guy. Anyway there was this lady- let's call her Barb- that worked as a waitress at one of the places we all hung out. Barb was beautiful...tall, about 5'8" or so, she was playing girls basketball in college and had one of those athletic bodies. Long legs, muscled just right, nice small pert tities, firm round ass that rode nice and high on her behind. She had a cute face that lit up a room whenever she smiled, short (rare for a girl back then) hair, blonde, wavey, silky, shiny. She was very very beautiful, and about nine or ten years younger than me.
Anyway, some of the folks that also hung out there with us were telling me that Barb liked me...had a crush on me. Since I was at that time not in anyway tied down with one woman and decidedly not ever going to be, I figured that what the fuck I'd see if I could get a lil something off of sweet beautiful Barb. I don't know why I acted like I did with Barb because I was getting so much pussy that I really didn't mind if a lady didn't want to give it up. I could just easily wait for a bit and I would be sticking it someone soon enough. One of the reasons that ladies liked to fuck me was I didn't push them to do somethin' they didn't want to do. I guess that made easier for them to want to do it.
Well one night there was a gathering of all of us folks that hung out or worked at those couple of truckstops. It was a young adult party (as opposed to a young (high schooler's) party) not like adult sex party). So no one was like really trashed or anything. Just a few beers and little hash some bud, etc. Anyway Barb and I were sort of hanging out together most of the night and we kissed a few times (and yes she was a good kisser). Many of the other ladies there I had already fucked at sometime in the past most of those ladies I had fucked many, many times. Now I'm not going to say that everyone of those ladies were blown away that I was going to be fucking Barb that night but most of those ladies accepted the situation. I didn't belong to them and I didn't try to own them. I was there for them if they needed a shoulder to cry on or needed seven and a half inches put somewhere in their person, or any situation in between. I never rubbed the fact that I was fucking someone else in anyone's face and I never bragged about my 'conquests' to anyone.
Anyway Barb had to work in the morning so she was ready to leave at around 10:00 or 11:00 and I walked her to her car. The party was in the back yard of the house we were at and the cars were in the front. I started kissing Barb good bye and I was rubbing her titties through her shirt. When I tried to put my hand inside her shirt she would stop me. Of course I knew exactally what that meant...I had been in that position many times before. It meant that I hadn't gotten her aroused enough. So some more kissing and more rubbing titties over her shirt...rubbing her back and down to her ass. And then even slipping hand in the waist band of her slacks etc. As long as I was on the outside of her clothes she seemed to be ok with anything I did. It was only when I tried to put my hand under her clothes that she put up resistence. I could rub her nice little titties, sqeeze her wonderful firm ass, even finger her pussy. As long as I was on the outside. She never slapped me or screamed out or anything but she eventually just stopped resisting and soon I had her jeans and panties down her legs and just on one ankle. I had her up against her car and was sliding my pecker into her hot slick pussy. Gawd (at that exact point in time) it felt so wonderful. It wasn't until after I biew a large load if cum up into her that I noticed that she just wasn't the happy and bubbly Barb every knew. She eventually got her clothes together and I kissed her good bye and she half heartedly kissed me back, then she left. For a few days she didn't seem as bright and cheerie but she soon was herself (with every one else) with me she wasn't terrified or hateful but she was definately a bit stand offish. She would talk to me she even went out with me a few times...and yes she even fucked me but she didn't seem really thrilled about doing it. I didn't understand. Other women that I had been with put up ressistance but I knew and they knew that I knew that was only to keep the appearance thay they were chaste. But! Almost all of those women wanted to get fucked as much as I wanted to fuck them. I just couldn't understand Barb.
It wasn't until a few years later...after I had moved half way across the country and found a lady that just knocked my socks off and got married, that I watched a show on the televison that talked about date rape that I got the full understanding of what I had done to Barb. It was as though Thor or Zeus had thrown a lightening bolt to explode in my head. and at the same time a brass band had sounded the hightest note all at the same time inside my skull. I HAD RAPED BARB. I had raped her as much as if I had held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her if she didn't submit.
The other women that I had been with (at least the first few times) would put up resistance, but for those women it was just a front. They knew they wanted fucked, I knew they wanted fucked, and for some maybe even their husband or boyfriend knew they wanted fucked. I know for sure that one husband knew that I was fucking his wife, but as long as I didn't say anything about it to him or anyone else he was thrilled when I would send his wife back home with her pussy full of another man's cum. She said that he liked to lick it out but was asshamed to let anyone know about his quirks. I was happy to oblige him. Actually he and I when we did see eachother (once in a while) got along really well. He knew that I knew that he knew but as long as I would keep his secret I was his best buddy. But! I digress! When I and other women were done fucking they were always happy,excited, satisfied...because I really hadn't forced them to do anything they didn't want to do.
But! That was other women..it wasn't Barb. Barb didn't really want me to fuck her. Barb was trying to tell me no. While she didn't actually 'SAY' the word 'NO', repeatedly pushing my hand away was "HER" way of saying no. Sex should be fun for everyone involved. It wasn't fun for Barb and that is my fault.
It wasn't long after this time with Barb that I moved to Colorado, and I lost contact with Barb. I feel so bad about what I did to her all of those many years ago. I am hopeing that she eventually was able to make peace with what I did to her and had a wonderful life. As for me what I did to Barb will be one of the things if not THE things I regret haveing done in my life.
So it is once again out in the universe....Barb I am so very sorry for what I did to you.
rick
Anyway, some of the folks that also hung out there with us were telling me that Barb liked me...had a crush on me. Since I was at that time not in anyway tied down with one woman and decidedly not ever going to be, I figured that what the fuck I'd see if I could get a lil something off of sweet beautiful Barb. I don't know why I acted like I did with Barb because I was getting so much pussy that I really didn't mind if a lady didn't want to give it up. I could just easily wait for a bit and I would be sticking it someone soon enough. One of the reasons that ladies liked to fuck me was I didn't push them to do somethin' they didn't want to do. I guess that made easier for them to want to do it.
Well one night there was a gathering of all of us folks that hung out or worked at those couple of truckstops. It was a young adult party (as opposed to a young (high schooler's) party) not like adult sex party). So no one was like really trashed or anything. Just a few beers and little hash some bud, etc. Anyway Barb and I were sort of hanging out together most of the night and we kissed a few times (and yes she was a good kisser). Many of the other ladies there I had already fucked at sometime in the past most of those ladies I had fucked many, many times. Now I'm not going to say that everyone of those ladies were blown away that I was going to be fucking Barb that night but most of those ladies accepted the situation. I didn't belong to them and I didn't try to own them. I was there for them if they needed a shoulder to cry on or needed seven and a half inches put somewhere in their person, or any situation in between. I never rubbed the fact that I was fucking someone else in anyone's face and I never bragged about my 'conquests' to anyone.
Anyway Barb had to work in the morning so she was ready to leave at around 10:00 or 11:00 and I walked her to her car. The party was in the back yard of the house we were at and the cars were in the front. I started kissing Barb good bye and I was rubbing her titties through her shirt. When I tried to put my hand inside her shirt she would stop me. Of course I knew exactally what that meant...I had been in that position many times before. It meant that I hadn't gotten her aroused enough. So some more kissing and more rubbing titties over her shirt...rubbing her back and down to her ass. And then even slipping hand in the waist band of her slacks etc. As long as I was on the outside of her clothes she seemed to be ok with anything I did. It was only when I tried to put my hand under her clothes that she put up resistence. I could rub her nice little titties, sqeeze her wonderful firm ass, even finger her pussy. As long as I was on the outside. She never slapped me or screamed out or anything but she eventually just stopped resisting and soon I had her jeans and panties down her legs and just on one ankle. I had her up against her car and was sliding my pecker into her hot slick pussy. Gawd (at that exact point in time) it felt so wonderful. It wasn't until after I biew a large load if cum up into her that I noticed that she just wasn't the happy and bubbly Barb every knew. She eventually got her clothes together and I kissed her good bye and she half heartedly kissed me back, then she left. For a few days she didn't seem as bright and cheerie but she soon was herself (with every one else) with me she wasn't terrified or hateful but she was definately a bit stand offish. She would talk to me she even went out with me a few times...and yes she even fucked me but she didn't seem really thrilled about doing it. I didn't understand. Other women that I had been with put up ressistance but I knew and they knew that I knew that was only to keep the appearance thay they were chaste. But! Almost all of those women wanted to get fucked as much as I wanted to fuck them. I just couldn't understand Barb.
It wasn't until a few years later...after I had moved half way across the country and found a lady that just knocked my socks off and got married, that I watched a show on the televison that talked about date rape that I got the full understanding of what I had done to Barb. It was as though Thor or Zeus had thrown a lightening bolt to explode in my head. and at the same time a brass band had sounded the hightest note all at the same time inside my skull. I HAD RAPED BARB. I had raped her as much as if I had held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her if she didn't submit.
The other women that I had been with (at least the first few times) would put up resistance, but for those women it was just a front. They knew they wanted fucked, I knew they wanted fucked, and for some maybe even their husband or boyfriend knew they wanted fucked. I know for sure that one husband knew that I was fucking his wife, but as long as I didn't say anything about it to him or anyone else he was thrilled when I would send his wife back home with her pussy full of another man's cum. She said that he liked to lick it out but was asshamed to let anyone know about his quirks. I was happy to oblige him. Actually he and I when we did see eachother (once in a while) got along really well. He knew that I knew that he knew but as long as I would keep his secret I was his best buddy. But! I digress! When I and other women were done fucking they were always happy,excited, satisfied...because I really hadn't forced them to do anything they didn't want to do.
But! That was other women..it wasn't Barb. Barb didn't really want me to fuck her. Barb was trying to tell me no. While she didn't actually 'SAY' the word 'NO', repeatedly pushing my hand away was "HER" way of saying no. Sex should be fun for everyone involved. It wasn't fun for Barb and that is my fault.
It wasn't long after this time with Barb that I moved to Colorado, and I lost contact with Barb. I feel so bad about what I did to her all of those many years ago. I am hopeing that she eventually was able to make peace with what I did to her and had a wonderful life. As for me what I did to Barb will be one of the things if not THE things I regret haveing done in my life.
So it is once again out in the universe....Barb I am so very sorry for what I did to you.
rick
