I have a fetish for eating my own cum. I know I'm not gay. What's irritating is I find it so hard to do, as soon as I orgasm I chicken out. I jerk off to hot girls telling me to eat my cum, but even that doesn't work most of the time. I thought if i could do it once I could do it a million times, but it isn't the case. I've eaten my cum in different ways, i've come into brioche rolls, onto cookies, cum straight into my mouth. The last time I remember doing it and actually following through was an instruction where I was told to jerk off once and collect the load in a cup. I would swig from the cup, and each time gargle my load and swallow when I was permitted. Then after I finished my load I jerked off again into the cup and was told to swallow my load again. The loads were huge and I felt very humiliated, submissive and happy. But since then I haven't been able to do it regardless of which video I use. There was this recent video where a girl plays a game of chance with you, if you lose you eat your cum and she fixed it so I lose. It was so hot, but I couldn't do it. As my own punishment for not following through, I'm staying in chastity for two weeks, jerking off but no cumming. This will be a double incentive, I usually cum buckets but this time my ultra blue balls will produce a giant load even by my standards, and if I pussy out two weeks of chastity would have been for nothing. I'll let you know what the outcome is