We tried to have a baby for years. After my sister had her third I could not cry in my pillow any more. We paid a Dr to tell my husband he would never. Or the chances were so slim, well you know.
So we talked this out many nights, got drunk and cried our selves to sleep. One night he lost his erection and just fell off me. I am wasting your time, find someone else to give you a child. I will never be the man to do this.
We did not talk for weeks. Finally at another dinner he suggested we divorce. I rejected this completely. Suggested we adopt.
We find the cost is so high we will not afford that either. At the bar I see this guy who looks like my husband. Its pretty shocking just mow much the two look alike. My brother in law looks less like my husband and they are full blood brothers. I suggested a sperm donor, Again the cost. My husband ask me to sleep with the guy, see if that works. We had him over for a drink and found his story. Normal guy with nice features. Eyes just like my husband. We ask him to do a three some with us. He thought it strange but when I ran his hand up my leg and rubbed my crotch, he understood I was not kidding.
In the hotel room and we had sex till he finally got tired. I put him on the bed and rode his half limp cock. I drained him.
Nothing at all.
So my husband sent me back alone. See if the guy would do me again. I found him at the same bar. He remembered me, I told how he was so good in bed I wanted to try him alone.
We had sex like before and like before he did not last very long. There are women who say that know when they are impregnated, I did not think he seeded my eggs at all.
To the bar and found another man before closing time. he looked some what like my husband, not the same eyes, but his size. He had his turn juicing me and again, I had no feeling at all. Just feeling of being fucked and one orgasm.
I did this most weekends in and out of the state. I found almost NO good lovers and fair lovers were rare. In six months of this not a scare, not close. If you don't count the chlamydia I picked up and had treated. I had nothing to show for this time. My husband was still in support, infact he insisted I do this. I wanted to stop, wanted to try foster care, not him. Had to be a baby like his brothers have. Wanted all he could raise.
He suggested I try the nice hotels where professionals would travel. I did this next.
I found very nice looking men but most wanted to wear protection. Fear of STD's were a fear. Those who wanted to have sex with out, pulled out and pumped on my body. Not one chance to get pregnant. I did this for almost a year. I killed our credit cards with room and travel cost. I did make $2,000 from an elderly man, he thought I was a hooker. He paid me to spank him, jerk him off and let him finger me. I have another meeting with him next week. Will pay the one credit card off with that money.
So I finally gave up and when I was thought to be in Baltimore at a hotel, I was at home. I got a room just outside town and had breakfast at the restaurant I worked as a kid. The owner remembered me. Mr Dayton was his name and his wife was the driving force of the place. He told me how he remembered me in my work outfit. I was the reason he made skirts shorter. He liked my legs and by looks. I ask why he never made a pass???????? his wife would kill him. She found him doing a dish washer once and shot him in the leg. besides he never thought I would let him touch me. I explained what I had gone through and how depressed I was. he stroked my head and made an offer.
I have six kids and each were easy to get. I suffered sexual desire for years from fear I would get her pregnant again. Each of our children was using some form of control, all failed. So I offer you this, I will get you pregnant if you like.
I smile and told him I would think it over. He was very old now, he may die trying, I don't need that. Besides his looks are not just right for me.
What the hell do I do now????????