I hope there is no way to be found out here. if I have to enter my information I will remove this.

Older boy ask me out in my jr year. I told him I was a virgin and not ready for sex. We dated that year and spring

formal came up. Had the dress from my 9th grade dance to wear. I looked like a princess. We had touched and I gave

him oral sex a few times. he insisted I give him a hand job every time we went out. In the movies and everything.

I promised him we could have sex that night. Told my family the dance after would last all night. he had the keys

to a trailer thingy of his uncles. We fixed it up nice and had our mix of music. I had a song I wanted playing when

it actually happened. Wanted a certain spot were I would become a woman. He promised to only put part of it in. I

worried it would hurt. he was a big one down there. My friend told me she had never seen one so big. She has seen

a LOT of them. Said it was long for sure. I once put my foot beside it and its lot longer than my foot. Fatter to.

We had our champagne and drank the bottle. I was ready for this. We kissed and he went down on me first. Told it

would get me loose, would not hurt if he did this. I opened up and he is kissing me. I feel him sliding up and down

my split, wow it was amazing. the feeling was great and I orgasmed like I do by hand. I said push it in me, I'm ready

he did and I thought he tore me apart. I screamed PULL IT OUT. he did not. he told me I needed to finish this,

Was for my one good I take it all. He led me there and he finished in me. I cried from pain and the torture of the

act. he pulled out and I lad there caring. Put my panties on ad blood was EVERYWHERE. Turned the big light on and it

ran out of me!!!!!. I laid back down and he went to get his aunt and uncle. She told him tis normal and blood would

stop. Typical virgin tearing. it didn't stop. I started feeling weak and passed out.

I woke up at the ER and told my vagina was ripped. My boyfriend was larger than we thought and forced it in my to

hard. Would take me weeks to heal up. I could not be sexually active for two months. I had to come back and be

for a check up. HOW EMBARRISING, my mom my dad my sister and my aunt. Not to mention him and his family taking about

my vagina and virginity in the ER waiting room. Mom told me how disgusting this was to hear. The boy gave a blow by

blow. Dad wanted to kill him and his uncle threatened to hit my dad.

Now I don't know what to do, I finished collage and no sex. I dated a few guys, when it got hot and sex came up, I

cut it off right there.

I winder if I have sex again will it be the same?? Should I look for a size guy to prevent this?? I can not do this

again. if there are some females who can tell me an answer.