Straight Male / 53
Over twenty four years back my wife and I separated; later divorced.
I was upset with her for seeing another man. I lost trust in her for this. As I write this those memories come rushing back and cloud me feelings.
I loved her and loved her deeply. yet with out trust and problems in my own life, I chose to end everything. I kicked her out of the house. Told I did not want her around me any more.
In all honesty I feel she was ok with that. She and I had nothing in common and piss poor communication. She talked with her friends more than with me.
We had a fair sex life, rarely did she turn me down. Yet sex was an act. We had no passion and this bothered me. I always had the feeling she did not love me in that way.
Today I know she did this on purpose. She wanted an end and could not ask for it face to face. So she made the choice easy for me.
little did she know I nearly killed her over this. I thought long and hard about this. Would kill the guy and his family. Would go to her house and kill her mother and make her watch. Would shoot her in the spine and leave her a vegetable for the rest of her long life. Finally shooting my self and making her watch this.
I did not and feeling I would do things different.
She was a closet lesbian and I knew this. She would never talk about this with me. I had parked recording equipment in her car her room and in her pocket book. Did this when her friend visited. She was a very dominant lesbian wanting to wear the strap on, giving her passion I never got.
She and a new closet lesbian moved in together later and split few years back.
Friend of mine works with her in the court house and gives me updates. She told him (she has no idea I know this man) she misses being married to me. She feels a loss in her life and companionship we had. This floored me and I do understand. I still get excited when I see her. Have never made an attempt to hook up. I think she wanted that to keep informed.
I marred a girl and she is amazing. Soon to be 18 years of marriage and two great kids. I would not trade her for 10 women in the world at once. She has been an amazing wife and actually gives me the passion she and I never had.
I phoned her last year to ask a legal question and we were on the phone for a long time. She had memories of my past and my life now. Told she keeps informed by old fellow friends she runs into. She told about her home and how I would like it. How she enjoys being a home body and cooking. Could make me a nice dinner and desert. I did not offer a reply. I did say it sounds good, she knows I like good quality food.
I did not ask to meet her and did not ask to try dinner. Not accepting her invitation I think bothered her. I have a good wife, not screwing that up with an old bad one.
I phoned her back last month for one more question, she will not return my phone call now. I need document she has and now she wants to avoid me. I talked with a friend of hers about this. She told me of hearing her joy that day. She acted more excited than she had seen in years. Thinks she is depressed and hearing my voice upsets her. She feels the call was to painful for her. Thinks she wants to forget and move on.
After the hell she put me through, I feel a bit of recovery my self. She hurt me so bad I nearly ended my life. I will phone her voice mail every week until she calls me back. Will end her pictures of my kids and let her know the pain of fucking with someone life. I don't need to kill her or anyone else. torture might be far better than death. let her wither up and die alone. that's the ticket.
I was upset with her for seeing another man. I lost trust in her for this. As I write this those memories come rushing back and cloud me feelings.
I loved her and loved her deeply. yet with out trust and problems in my own life, I chose to end everything. I kicked her out of the house. Told I did not want her around me any more.
In all honesty I feel she was ok with that. She and I had nothing in common and piss poor communication. She talked with her friends more than with me.
We had a fair sex life, rarely did she turn me down. Yet sex was an act. We had no passion and this bothered me. I always had the feeling she did not love me in that way.
Today I know she did this on purpose. She wanted an end and could not ask for it face to face. So she made the choice easy for me.
little did she know I nearly killed her over this. I thought long and hard about this. Would kill the guy and his family. Would go to her house and kill her mother and make her watch. Would shoot her in the spine and leave her a vegetable for the rest of her long life. Finally shooting my self and making her watch this.
I did not and feeling I would do things different.
She was a closet lesbian and I knew this. She would never talk about this with me. I had parked recording equipment in her car her room and in her pocket book. Did this when her friend visited. She was a very dominant lesbian wanting to wear the strap on, giving her passion I never got.
She and a new closet lesbian moved in together later and split few years back.
Friend of mine works with her in the court house and gives me updates. She told him (she has no idea I know this man) she misses being married to me. She feels a loss in her life and companionship we had. This floored me and I do understand. I still get excited when I see her. Have never made an attempt to hook up. I think she wanted that to keep informed.
I marred a girl and she is amazing. Soon to be 18 years of marriage and two great kids. I would not trade her for 10 women in the world at once. She has been an amazing wife and actually gives me the passion she and I never had.
I phoned her last year to ask a legal question and we were on the phone for a long time. She had memories of my past and my life now. Told she keeps informed by old fellow friends she runs into. She told about her home and how I would like it. How she enjoys being a home body and cooking. Could make me a nice dinner and desert. I did not offer a reply. I did say it sounds good, she knows I like good quality food.
I did not ask to meet her and did not ask to try dinner. Not accepting her invitation I think bothered her. I have a good wife, not screwing that up with an old bad one.
I phoned her back last month for one more question, she will not return my phone call now. I need document she has and now she wants to avoid me. I talked with a friend of hers about this. She told me of hearing her joy that day. She acted more excited than she had seen in years. Thinks she is depressed and hearing my voice upsets her. She feels the call was to painful for her. Thinks she wants to forget and move on.
After the hell she put me through, I feel a bit of recovery my self. She hurt me so bad I nearly ended my life. I will phone her voice mail every week until she calls me back. Will end her pictures of my kids and let her know the pain of fucking with someone life. I don't need to kill her or anyone else. torture might be far better than death. let her wither up and die alone. that's the ticket.
