I remember being at my friend Arron's house in his backyard. He had a trampoline and we were playing, jumping around on it. We were in 6th grade and it hit me out of the blue. I am not sure if it was the absolute first testosterone surge in my bodymbut I had this overwhelming urge to be with him sexually, to submit to him. I wanted him so bad it hurt. I could notmfocusmon anything else butnthe thoughtnof being with him sexually. I had never had feelings like that until that afternoon. I sat down on a bench and he asked me what was wrong. I couldn't tell him. He pestered me, but I was blown away by my feelings for him. Being gay was so taboo, but the feeling was so strong, unbelievably strong.

I don't know why this was my fantasy that day,mbut I wanted him to force himself on me, to make me suck his cock. I wanted him to pin me on the ground and sit on my chest with his cock out and force it into my mouth. I think he had something in his hand to threaten me so that I would do it. But right before he put his cock in my mouth I would tell him he didn't need the weapon to force me, I wanted to suck his dick willingly. He would say he didn't believe me, taht i would notmsuck him and I took him into my mouth anyway. While sucking him, he would drop the weapon and I would grab it and he would get scared I was going to retaliate, but I didn't. I did the opposes and I threw it to one side then I looked up at him to his surprise. I smiled and then continued to suck him. And that is far as it went. I didn't know about cumming then, I just wanted to submit to him, to, please him. Nothing happens that day but the feelings did not go away. Every time I went to his house all I could think about.

Weeks or months after, we were playing in his room. We were playing truth or dare. This went on for a while. The urge to be with him was so strong I rached a boiling point. I asked him to dare me to suck him. Not quite how the,rules go, but I did. It took every ounce of my courage to do so and I said it half jokingly as an escape route.

To my utter surprise, he pulled his pants down and then I was really scared. Was he testing me?? Was he going to call me out as I got close to his dick?? Call me a faggot and tell our other friends?? A million thoughts race thru my head as I starred down at his erect cock. I don't know if I consciously decided to lower my mouth down or what. But I did, I had to have it. The sexual intensity I was feeling has never been match since. Nothing has ever come dlose to that moment. It is tough to describe. I lowered my head down, opened my mouth, and took him into me. I didn't know what sucking cock was all about so I just closed my mouth around it and held it in my mouth for a couple seconds. I lifted up and he remarked I that I put his dick in my mouth. I was horrified for a second but he didn't laugh or taunt me. He didnt call me a faggot or gay. To my suprise, he asked to reciprocate! My heart was pounding. Right thru my chest. Was this really happening?? Was I going to be with him?? I pulled my cock out and he lowered his head. I was just getting hard ons and I was fully erect at this time. And then I felt his tongue lick the top of my head. That was it, just a quick flick. I was so excited though I thought I was going to burst out of my skin. Nothing further happens that night.

That is the absolute truth on how I knew I was attracted to men. Things evolved with first love of my life. I quickly took the role of beta and he the alpha male. We began experimenting and got better at going down on each other. We began to kiss...a lot. I was so excited when I knew I was going over to his house to sleep over. I knew what we were going to do. I was going to be with him! I got my wish and asked him to sit on my chest while I sucked him. He liked being in charge and I liked submitting to and obeying him.

We eventually obtained a couple porno mags. One called housewife harlot that showed penetration. As soon as I saw it I thought I want Arron to do that to me. I wanted to be the girl in the scene we saw. There were various ways that she gave herself to the man and I wanted that to be me. I wanted to be that girl for him. I asked him if he wanted to do that, the penetration. He said, yeah maybe. Then one night he was kissing my butt cheeks (something we did) and he eased himself up on my back and kissed my neck I could feel his erection and I pushed my butt up against his crotch. We didn't say anything, he just put his dick on my asshole and sat there for a minute as I rubbed my butt up and down on him. I kept thinking of the girl in the magazine and the faces of pleasure she made while the man was in her. I wanted that. She looked like she was feeling very good. Then he started to push in to my surprise. Damn it hurt and I tightened up. But he continued to push and then it happened. He broke thru and slid into me. I had know idea what to think but his dick was in me. He grinded on me for a bit and it was very uncomfortable for me. I had no idea what to expect but I remember feeling fulfilled. Like I knew this is what I wanted, I wanted him in me. It was so right. It got much better over time. He learned how to pump and we figured out that vasoline was not just for dry hands! It became extremely pleasurable for me. I was the housewife harlot now for Arron and loved it. I never penetrated him. Even then it didn't seem right even though he said I could. I would just grind on his butt, rubbing. It made total sense, I wanted to be the 'girl' for him, being a man was not my roll. As I said, he was the alpha male and I was totally the beta.

This went on for several years until Arron moved away to a different neighborhood that was far enough away that we had only infrequent sleep overs. I missed him terribly. I lost my virginity to him, he was the first man who fucked me. I will always love him.

I ended up getting into girls in high school and came to terms I was bi and had sex with women. I would watch porn with my friends and seceretly wished I was the girl in the scene unbeknownst to them. They would be hooting and hollering as some guy tore into a beautiful girl, their eyes on the vixen and mine compleetly fixated on the man thinking how lucky the girl was. I thought about Arron being the man. My first man crush was for Alex Sanders. I remember being soooo jealous of Kylie Ireland watchingnhis exquisite body fucking her in one scene. I did't have another gay experience until college, a one night stand with a black guy that was fucking amazing, another posting for that perhaps, talk about being a bottom, he absolutely destroyed me on the back of his car in a vacant lot for two plus hours. Never saw him again. He left me in the lot, my wallet in his car, 2 cans of olympia, pants around my ankles (never had a chance to pull the off), shirt over my head, lying on the ground panting, cum ozzing out of ass, and he got into his 280z and drove off. I had no idea where I was and took me 3 hours to get back to my dorm because I was lost. Would love to run into him again but get a room this time!

Well that is my coming of gay story. All true. I have looked up Arron on line. I know where he lives but have never reached out. I would love to be with him one more time but will probably have to live off the memories we had and think fondly about the first time I wrapped my lips around a cock, Arron's wonderful cock.