I'm a paedo file (sorry I had to spell it that way since this website filters that word out) I am sexually attracted to children. I never touched one inappropriately. Not once. I have wanted to many many times but never have. Out of fear that I may lose control and harm one I have deliberately avoided children and never had any of my own. I get off on looking at legal photos of children and masturbating while doing so. My fantasies are extreme and illegal to make real and are completely confined to my head. I have shared a small number of these with like minded adults but they have lost interest in such exchanges.

About a decade ago I had an encounter with a child and found a new outlet for my desires. She was a sweet 10 year old girl who got off on showing herself off to perverts. Her family moved in next door to me and a few weeks later she was in the back yard and started to ask me questions as I was weeding my garden. In such circumstances I usually make up an excuse to end the encounter and go inside but I really did need to complete my task that day and she was very enticing. Occasionally I would glance up during our exchange and that was when I noticed she was wearing a short skirt and no panties. She was standing just outside my short white picket fence that surrounded my garden and was leaning against a post and her skirt was snagged on a post and was pulled up exposing her private parts. It looked to me like she had done it deliberately to get a reaction from me. I gave her none beyond an occasional hungry glance at that sweet little slit. The encounter lasted about 15 minutes and I haven't got a clue what we actually talked about. I think I was mostly grunting incoherently to her words.

A few weeks later, late one night I glanced out my bedroom window across to the house next door which was less than 20 feet away. She was sitting on her bed naked legs spread and touching herself while looking up at the wall where I assumed she had a TV or a poster of something that made her horny. I had no idea kids her age could even get horny but since she said she was 10 and looked 10 I assumed she was in fact 10 yet there she was naked and obviously masturbating. I shut my light off and approached the window carefully. She made no move to cover herself and acted as though she had no idea I was watching her. I left the room and got my binoculars and pulled up a seat at the window and ripped my clothes off and watched her masturbate while I did myself. I could see by the way she moved and the look on her face that she was close and that got me closer and then she went over the edge and seeing that drove me over the edge and I had the best cum in years. I sat there stunned holding the binoculars to my eyes just staring at her. she glanced casually in my general direction but I didn't think she saw me. I was hiding behind a curtain and it was quite dark in my room in contrast to the several bright lights she had on in her room.

For many weeks following this I kept spying on her. I spent hours watching her empty room in anticipation and got her schedule down after a while though she was far from predictable. She would come out into the yard from time to time and talk to me while I worked and I still never laid a hand on her but that is as far as it went in the yard. In her bedroom things escalated. A few weeks of repeating the above show for me at least 3-4 times a week one night she changed things up a bit. Her bed had been moved to a slightly better viewing angle. She added some pillows and positioned herself for a better view and looked right at me as though she could see me watching her. She mouthed some things in a sexy way that I couldn't discern since I don't read lips. She was deliberately masturbating and touching herself all over as though she was putting on a show and not just satisfying herself. She held herself open and I zeroed in with the binoculars and got a really good close up view of the inside. I could see her little hymen and count the goose bumps on her arms and legs. I could even see the faint down of blond hair just beginning to develop in the vicinity. Then she started to twist her nipples and pull on them, she tickled her way up and down her thighs and finally concentrated on her pussy. She dipped her finger in and licked the juice off them while looking seductively right at me. Then she just went to town frigging her little preteen pussy. After about 20 minutes of furious masturbating while intently staring at me ( was convinced I was imagining that she could see me given how dark it was in my room) she came convulsively. The look of ecstasy on her face was unbearable. I shot my load and covered my window with cum all the while staring into her eyes. She seemed to react when I came and smiled brighter at me. Of course that was all feeding my fantasy of being in the room with her, the idea that she actually was aware of my presence and deliberately gave me a show fueled my fantasy all the more though I was convinced I was just imagining that she did any of that deliberately.

As the week went on things got more and more heated up. The shows became more extreme. She moved over to the window and stood at such an angle that one could only see her if they were viewing from my window. I remained in my chair holding up the binoculars. She turned around and bent over and spread her ass cheeks. She danced seductively like a stripper. On another night she wore a school girl uniform (she really did go to a Catholic elementary school) hair in pigtails and stripped naked in front of the window. She always left the curtain open, always kept the light on and always did her show right in front of the window.

Then just when I thought things could not go better one night when the show was complete and we both had cum she holds up a cardboard sign in the window: "DID YOU LIKE TONIGHT'S SHOW??" Scared I kept motionless and kept the light off and pretended not to be there. I was caught and scared and didn't know what to do. Next thing she does is puts up another sign: "I know you're watching me!" but puts a ":)" at the end of the sign. I pulled up my pants and got up and turned on the light and walked over to the window. I stared across looking at her. She was still naked and dropped the second sign and held up the first sign again and smiled. I just gave her a thumbs up.

For the next 6 years, almost nightly she gave me a show. Her parents and I got to be kind of friendly over the years and we accepted each others occasional invitations to dinner. We worked on joint landscaping projects to make our mutual back yard space a little more cohesive and occasionally talked politics. Melanie never brought a boy over and her parents rarely entered her room at night. So our little shows were never interrupted or interfered with. Melonie and I would occasionally talk but never about what we shared at night. Then she had her sweet 16 birthday party. I was invited since practically everyone they knew was invited. There were probably a hundred people in the back yard and much of that spilled over into my yard but I certainly didn't mind. While there had to be more than 50 kids from school she didn't spend much time with any of the boys. I spent most of my time hanging out with my neighbors though truth be told I spent half the party next door in my living room watching TV. While I was bringing over a bag of ice I was keeping in my fridge for them Melanie came over to me and just started to hang out with me. We found a secluded spot in the back yard and sat down together. As I said our conversations over the years were completely devoid of any mention of the nightly shows so I expected nothing in that topic to be discussed at the party. "You know, now that I'm 16, you can't get in trouble for having sex with me, you know, in case you ever wanted to do something other than watch me put on shows for you." I was stunned. After the party I did look into the legality of it. She was right, in our state a 16 year old girl can consent to having sex with a 50 year old man. I had mistakenly thought it was 18. She then went on to tell me that she had secretly wished she could have come over to lose her virginity but knew I would not want to get into trouble. She said she wished I would have put on shows so she could see me but understands why I didn't want to. "So were you always a paedo file or did I turn you into one??" was the next shocking thing that came out of her mouth. I was still recovering from her first remark. I took a deep breath and told her I was since I could remember but never touched a little girl before. "Do you want to touch one now??" I guess my drooling and panting was obvious. "More than you can know" was my response.

There were too many people around during the party so we had to wait. She didn't even put on a show that night which was unusual but considering the circumstances not surprising. The next night she put on a show but this time she called me up from her cell phone. I watched her dial but didn't realize she was calling me until my phone rang. "Put the lights on I want to watch you too." So I got up and flipped the switch and showed her my erection. She picked up her own pair of binoculars and we watched each other masturbate. She told me all the sexual fantasies she had over the years and told me she knew the first night that I was watching. She told me that she deliberately pulled the curtains open and left the lights open. She knew she had my attention that first day when we were at my garden together and I kept looking at her bare pussy that she was deliberately showing me to find out if I liked little girls. While we mutually masturbated she told me how she wished I had snuck over and kidnapped her when she first moved there and how she wished I had raped her and kept her as a sex slave. She was even telling me more extreme things that were far beyond any of the mild fantasies I had. Then before I had a chance to think about it she invited herself over right that minute reminding me of her newly legal status and before I realized it I invited her over. She closed the curtains and shut off the light and 20 minutes later she appeared at my back door dressed in pigtails and school girl uniform and smelling like a freshly bathed 7 year old.

"Daddy, I've been a very naughty little girl, would you like to punish me??" Without waiting for my reply she had my fly unzipped and was on her knees being naughty. I moved the festivities to my bedroom and "raped" my "victim" and that is when I found out she had been saving her virginity for me. Later she told me that all her sexual fantasies for the last 6 years revolved around me. Now I suppose would be a good time to tell you that I am not much to look at. I'm in my 50s, bald, overweight. Not rich and my dick is average, perhaps slightly below average. For some inexplicable reason Melanie had fallen in love with me. Why I fell in love with her needs no explanation except to further say she was a perfect vision of teenaged beauty. Blond hair down to her waist, slender with perfect curves, small but prominent breasts. If you saw just her body you might think she was a shapely 13 year old not a 16 year old and that combined with her outfit enhanced her little girl persona. Her mother is short and slender so I see what I would have to look forward to if we stayed together.

Melanie and I got married two years later and we are now expecting our second child. Her parents were surprisingly accepting of the whole affair and even know now about our 6 years of secret shows.