Every one has to start somewhere. Growing up I participated in most all the school activities and even had a girlfriend. Actually she was more a friend than a girl, but we dated and went out together. During the summer break from my freshman year at college I got a job as a bellman at this hotel. In the bar there was this Mexican bar tender, in his mid forties. From the beggining he was my friend and talked to me. One night, I worked the 3 to 11 shift, he asked me if I wanted to get a bite after work, and I waited for him to close the bar at 12 and we went to the pancake house. We talked until 2 in the morning and he asked me to come over to his place, he had some music he wanted me to hear.

Once we got there, he lived in a one bedroom apartment, he went to his room to change and came out in his boxer shorts and asked me to get comfortable. By then it was 2:30 and I was quite tired and suggested that I should leave and go home. He took his boxers off and stood naked there and told me it was time for me to grow up and discover myself. He went to the bedroom and laid on the bed and called me in. He asked me to get naked and get in bed with him. I wouldn't or couldn't answer. His voice became more authoratative and he told me to get naked, he wanted to see me naked, he wanted to see what he was going to get that night. That my day had come for me to find out just what I was and he was going to show me.

He masturbated himself into an erection and told me to get naked again and get in bed. Somewhere inside of me something told me to do it, and I slowly got naked. Once naked he patted the bed and told me to lay down beside him, he was tired and he wanted what was justly his. He got up and grabbed me by the hand and pulled me towards him and kissed me squarely on the lips. He then turned down and took my dick in his mouth and sucked me, he got between my legs and pushed my legs up and he sucked and fingered my butt, then raised himself up and lay down on top of me and with his hand found my butt hole and I got fucked for the first time in my life. I was not resisting, I was just enjoying the moment, the feelings I had that evening would stay with me for a long long time. When he finished he sent me to the bathroom to heat up with hot water a washcloth and bring it back to clean him. It was the first time I touched another man's dick.

I learned I was a sub and he was a top. I learned how to give him blow jobs, I learned how to kiss with him, I learned how to lay down with him and make love. I learned that like nothing I had ever experienced having him fuck me was just about the best feeling I ever had. I learned that I was all queer. In those days we didn't call it gay yet, that would come later. I never bothered with a girl again, mostly because at some level I was more the girl than anything else. And for that summer I was his, all his. That was my summer, the summer I came to terms with what I was.