this is really an awkward situation for me. i mean i live at home still and have no idea what to do. last weekend i went over to a friend's house and was drinking. i go crazy, i mean sex crazy, after i have more than 3 drinks, so my limit is usually 2 or at most 3, just so i don't get that 4th or more. we were drinking German wine "from the home land" as my friends called it. i didn't know it was a lot stronger than the "weak American wine" that I am used to drinking. well, to make a very long story shorter, i ended up sending picture messages of me to one of my friends that has benefits and the pictures were very explicit and i all, but begged to have sex with him. we even did some sexting.

problem?? the whole thing was actually with my father! i looked over the sexting conversation and wow! i was really explicit. i've not said anything to my father, because i was hoping it would just go away and he'd figure out that it wasn't for him, but today i find one of the pics i sent to him covered in cum. it was in my bathroom even! that is so gross.

the more i think about this, the more i start to realize that it kinda hot, you know in just the most sick and twisted perverted sort of way. i mean the guy that's doing my mom wants me, sexually wants me. he's not my real father, just my step, but still he's like 30 years older than i am and he's doing my mom. every since i found that pic today, i've been having thoughts of him doing me and my mom.

first it just started out me thinking that is so gross that he's doing my mom and he wants me. then it was like he wants me and i started thinking about him doing me. then it was him doing me and mom finding out and now it's him doing me and mom at the same time. this is just so fucking crazy it's repulsive and i can't get it out of my head. even as i've been typing this now my thoughts are thinking of me and my mom in bed together doing it, then he comes in and does us both. i am so screwed up!