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My girlfriend lied to me and told me she wanted to enter me in a funny picture contest in a porno mag. I let her tie me up on my hands and knees and then she stuck a big twisty candle up my butt and lit it. I went along with it as she took pictures even singing the happy birhtday song with her. It started getting hot and I told her to put it out but she wouldn't because of the argument we had the night before. The next day I had to go to the doctors office with a blistered asshole. It was so embarrassing to have to explain to the receptionist why I was there.
My girlfriend and I made up but I don't let her tie me up anymore.

8
# 1944 - by Anonymous / August 16, 2004
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Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 16, 2004 at 4:39 AM

You could have told the Dr. that you were lighting farts to explain the burns, as for the girl friend, I think her reletives would have a furural to attend.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 16, 2004 at 4:53 AM

Dude! Some things are just not forgivable; you've got yourself involved with one who has a bad mean steak running through her bones. Best thing for you is run fast and far while all your parts are still attached.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 16, 2004 at 11:25 AM

Well you must have given her a good reason to do that to her.. what was your argument about?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 16, 2004 at 3:09 PM

Everybody in our office got a good laugh from your story. Your girlfriend must have had a good time singing happy birthday with you all the while knowing that you'd soon be singing a different tune. You should be glad she didn't have you singing campfire songs just before the weenie roast.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 18, 2004 at 12:55 PM

hey buddy women can be cruel. maybe you better scroll down towhere it says, the whole town knows, that poor guys a freaking eunuch now and some of the comments are rude dude. hate to say this but i guess you learned your lesson in the "end".

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 18, 2004 at 12:57 PM

What exactly is an "eunuch".. i heard the word before but didnt know then either

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 19, 2004 at 10:13 PM

The word "eunuch" is from the Greek eunouchos and Latin eunuchus, meaning "keeper of the bedchamber," an allusion to the eunuch's traditional role as a harem keeper.

The process for creating an eunuch remains relatively unchanged. The unfortunate victim was strapped spread-eagled to a table. A thin cord was knotted tightly around his genitals, and, with a sharp razor, the organs were amputated. The wound was then cauterized by the application of either a red-hot poker or molten tar. The mutilated youngster or adult was deprived of water for several days to prevent urination during the healing.

He was then forced to drink enormous amounts of water, until the pressure in his bladder literally punctured a hole in the layers of scar tissue, through which he will pee for the rest of his life. Assuming he survived the process-and not many did as the fatality rate was an appalling 90 percent, he would begin his new life as a docile slave.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Sep 4, 2004 at 2:37 PM

Wow! A fire burning right in your asshole. Well at least she didn't roast your weenie while she was at it.

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