I am over 40 and still live at home with mum and dad and can not find a boyfriend everyone tells me i am ugly and not good enough. I can't get sex anywhere and did consider asking my brother in law once to take my virginity when i was 23 cuz i could not find any man to love me he has since found a woman to marry and never showed any real interest in anyway. I did consider sex with my brother or 2 male cousins as well as whenever i tried with men they pushed me away. then my cousin who tried to rape me when i was a child rejected me so i kind of got the message.

my mum is going away soon and i have wondered should i ask my dad for sex while she is away, but he is old now and i don't love him the way i used to when we were both younger, like when i was a child, but in truth i never felt sexual love for my dad as such...i wanted other older boys then me to play the part of a doe-ting father i could go to who would support me when my sister was trying to rape me and bash me.

i am afraid to be alone with my father but also of the ghosts in our haunted house.

i have tried to attract men but without any luck even when i was super thin and super pretty.

does bigoldsoapbox have any ideas??

i am sad, tired from serious illness i can't talk about with anyone, i feel strange that i want hugs and love and sometimes lots of sexual experiences but then other times i bleed badly in the vagina after masturbation and am scared of sex incase i have damaged my vagina too much insertions with objects.

i just don't know how to get love or sex. men tell me i am no good at all for either. i consider going out for one night stand sex to get pregnant with just any man. and i think if i got really drunk and just found a guy he might do it, but knowing my luck he would kick me off him and leave me in the gutter to rot in the rain.

i want a normal relationship but i don't know how to get it. everyone tells me i am an ugly dog and not good enough and i always end up believing them as there has been way too many people to confirm it as a truth that i am too ugly to attract love of any kind.

i have been told to go out and where a muzzle on my face and no pants and try to flash my bare butt in the street for any man who is willing right then and there as that is how most men like it with ugly dogs like me.

should i do this just for the experience and thrill to skite about later as i have no real sex experiences to skite about ever.

i want to have sex in public to show people even though i am fat old and ugly i can fuck as good as any super model or my neighbors who think they are so great at fucking load.

what should i do to get a fuck ?? i have been told that a begger can't be a chooser in sex and it all has to be dirty c**t talk and acts with guys before it gets better.