A few years ago I was out bar hopping and I ended up getting smashed. At this time in my life I was bi and very much in closet. My last stop at a bar was a well known gay bar and I met a man in there who I was doing shots with. He told me that he had a custom van outside that we could use later on if I liked. At that time it was a no. But after a few more shots and beers he managed to get me to go out to it. We started out just playing and sucking each other then he rolled me on my stomach and got on me. I felt him push in me and it hurt some but I was enjoying it. But I was so drunk and it was over before I knew it. We layed other next to each other and I felt myself passing out. I woke up with I think 4 more different men in the van and one was on top of me pushing his dick in me. I felt like I was being rapped. It was scary but was asked if I was having fun. Drunk as I was I went along with it. I can barely remember it all but it was nice. The next day I woke and had made it home. But as the night before went through my mind I felt afraid to go out. I don't remember who all he'd fucked me. Don't really remember how many. Knew there was 4 while out in that van I had had had more shots. So how many more had took me I'm not sure. My ass felt puffy and sore. How did I even get home. It was all a blank after a point. All I knew was there had been 4 men that had fucked me and took advantage of me. I'm still in the closet but think of that night often. When I'm out in clubs or even stores I feel there is someone looking at me saying that he had my ass. But being used like that makes me feel like a slut and I like it. I have found that with a good dick in me I can cum from the g-spot being it.