Last night for the first time in over 3 months I was with someone. To feel the touch and caress of another human was more than I had ever hoped to have again in my life. She was so caring, gentile, and understanding; she is my angel and my Batibat.

My soul is filled with darkness and my desire seek that which is most abhorrent. The beast and Lilith now posses me and despair follows my desire. I am lost and seduced by beasts and woman; the whore of the unnatural; dirty.

I am sorrow and filth.

(18335 19166)