I'm married. I love my wife. We have a child. I love my child. They mean the world to me and they're the reason I get up in the morning.

However, I still also love my ex. She'll always be in my heart and on my mind. We had split up when I sank into a deep depression years ago and thought she'd do better without me. She didn't. She went to a party, got drunk and pilled up, and a guy she thought was a friend offered a ride home. They found her body in a ravine a week later, and he hung himself the day they found her.

I sometimes can't sleep at night wishing I'd had a chance to get to him first, imaging the horrible things I'd have done to him.