i am what they call approaching mid life (oh how i hate that) and my love life / sex life is non-existent most of my life, i will not include a dirty old of 70 when i was 5 molesting me and hitting me part of a love life, will i call being raped as a virgin by a fat old married skinhead tattooed thug my first love... those encounters dont count as a love life at all. i have tried to find guys but its always wrong place wrong timing and i have such low self confidence i think that dogs and cows are more pretty then me. i have needed someone to pamper me and a young wonderful man to make a fuss of me for so long and none of them ever do, even when i have raged about stars or guys i knew all my life. i never attract friends and no one cares about the real me, and i hate users and fakers.

i feel so embarrassed that i have been for so long a sexually frustrated and frigid woman but i don't call myself gay because i don't get sexual arousal with women or intensity of passion as i do with men its just that i am very shy and morbidly sexually shy and suffer server performance anxiety with sex and men... it goes back to childhood. what upset me the most was this terrible person saying that i should be punished for not being a sexual whore or explicit sexual exhibitionist but i am not really like that ... i know that i am not alone in that feeling. this person made me feel bad as if not fucking a man on the street at a instant of attraction was some deadly sin i fear i am becoming more and more schizophrenic and sexually fearful to try to find love. I am not to blame for my families problems and I don't want loud sex all around me I just want a wonderful boyfriend of my own to cherish and adore me and love me and look after me the way he should...

I hate my mother and father deeply as i feel they have let me down and are mentally ill senile old people in their 70s who have nothing good to give me but a roof over my head given my mental health after rape and stroke. I just need a loving man to ask me out and do all the right things and be mindful of my heart and body ...

I HATE WHAT THESE EVIL PEOPLE ARE DOING TO ME, AND THEY ARE FLAUNTING A LITTLE CHILD OF 7 who my dad of 70 was getting horny over, and she is just a child... its sick BUT SHE IS GETTING SEX FROM A MAN IN HIS 40S AROUND ME HE NEVER LOOKS AT ME AND ACTS WEIRD AS IF ANY OTHER OLDER OR YOUNGER BODY IS BETTER THEN MINE...WHEN HE SHOULD BE MAKING ME FEEL WONDERFUL. i am confused and angry and frustrated and just wish i could pay a male stud for sex and not care about marriage but i do want marriage.

what is wrong with people???? they are crazy. i will not take responsibility for a man fucking a kid ...