I am alone today and think of my past mistakes. Had a booming flower shop and great employees to give me free times. Men told me just how good I looked, but I had a husband and two sons. I volunteered at the church three days per week for the minister. Tom was a grand man and wonderful preacher. He had a wife fringed at ice. he prayed to God to help her get over this. How it hurt him to desire a woman and be put off by his own wife. I heard his prayers as I worked in the office.

One day I told tom I had a calling to help with his problem. I would reduce his stress and allow him some peace. He prayed on it for a day and agreed, if I could do this and not risk my own self. We made these connections at my house. I had never had sex like this. His passions made him a wonderful lover. The best I had experienced in my life.

I had it all, my Co and a husband executive with NASA; and my two boys. Then the phone call one of my sons had drown. That nearly killed me, I had feeling God had punished me for what I did. I told my husband and he left me. My life fell apart and I with drew my self. I sold my shop and my house. I moved my son to a city near by. The news spread the small town pretty quick. I drove thirty five miles to shop. No chance of meeting someone there. Calling me a home wrecker. by the way the minister left the church and his wife. Ask me to go with him, I had bad feelings of this. I choose to date a man to be a positive roll model for my son. My sons real father was not much of one, ever.

This man was our neighbor and very nice. Until I turned him down for sex; he was not so nice. Told me he could take another boy fishing and spend time, his mom had no problems with him. She had made many offers, she could see my son doing well with him. So I relented and did as he wanted. he took the other boy, and got some of her as well. I had whored my self to better my only child, I think it worth it. I had given up on God when he took my son, it was just an act for me now.

He was not the lover I had enjoyed so much, but he met his and my needs. I came out of the funk and started feeling like a woman. He did me well and got what he called top shelf sex from me. he wanted oral sex, I could not bring my self to do this. With in a short time I worked to become better in bed. better try to keep what I had set up. Then my son hit collage and I no longer needed to keep this going. I did have sex with him, just not as much as he demanded in the past. No more meeting him at work and no more midnight letting him in the back door. My son told me he knew, he had head the sounds at night. So much for hiding my sins I guess.

I wanted to better my situation and did not care how it happened. Had whored my self for my son, I could now do it for my future.
Attended a funeral of an old friend and comforted her husband. His children told him I was the church whore, he saw a piece of ass, he told me this before he died. A piece of ass he 3ould not touch until he put a ring on my finger. His wealth was pretty good, his wife's settlement and Ins made him a nice catch. He ask for a prenuptial agreement, I flew hot. He backed off and we were married. I gave him sex once before the wedding and once a week after. he was horrible man in bed. He laid on top of me and worked so slow it got to me. I faked an orgasm to help him finish. He insisted shooting in me, I hate that. hard to clean out and smell problems. But he insisted and he held the cards.

His sex drive made him a pervert, I had all that I wanted. So we bought another home in FL. If we lived there tax savings could buy another home for my son and his wife. Worked well for us, I moved back to Md and he stayed in FL. he screwed some of the widows but I did not care. I did not want him. Then the strokes and finally death, YEA, I am finally alone. Tom called me and ask if I would meet him. I had him over for dinner. He was alone and been alone. Worked a job and had a home. he wanted to have a relationship. most of all he wanted the relationship of our past. I could feel his power again and consented to sex at that moment. It was as it was years before, intense with a lot of passion. I never thought of ejaculates with tom, just the pleasure he gave me.

We talked about a living arrangement and our future. A trip to just be alone and enjoy. I heard nothing from him after he left. and wondered what happened. Filled his answering machine and finally gave up. I guess he wanted a one night and some dreams to make me not feel used.

My Dr called me in and told me I have lung cancer. Its so advanced I will not make it three more months. I cried in bed for three days. My son arrived to see what was wrong. I told him about Tom coming back, and now I will die. He told me Tom's Obituary in the paper yesterday. An auto accident, the night he left my house. He was inured o nthe way home, he died days later at the hospital.

I think I will now pay for my actions.