6 years ago I had an affair with my best friends ex while I was in a committed relationship myself. We only had sex 3 times during the affair but it was mainly fooling around on his lunch break at my house while my then fiance was down the street getting him weed. Unfortunately, one of the times we were caught by my fiance and his mother and soon after the relationship dissolved. After that I feel for the guy I cheated on my ex with but he didn't have any interest in me single. Still from time to time we would get fucked up and I would go down on him. His cock his HUGE by the way. Anyway long story short my heart got broken. Now I find myself once again engaged,6 months from getting married and having fantasies about him and also a childhood friend and his brother. I workout at the gym the whole time not getting fit for my dream wedding but thinking about how hot I'll look while they are fucking me. I never expressed any sexual interest in my childhood friend or his brother. I've kept casual contact with the guy I had the affair with 6 years ago but nothing to the effect that he wants sex from me. Here and there he says things like "Remember when you'd gag on my cock and tears would roll down your face and your mascara would run" or " You'd beg me my cock". It's true I did and I probably would again.