I want to share my experience with you readers as I need to tell someone about this but cant bring myself to tell my spouse out of fear of divorce.

several years ago the wife and I shared fantasies and at that time she said her biggest fantasy was to see me having sex with another man with me being the one on bottom, she wanted me to suck his cock and for him to fuck me, now this was all five plus years ago at least, we talked about it, usually while having sex and it made her very hot and excited and she always had explosive orgasms, but nothing ever became of it, we still just have a normal sex life but a very good sex life.

now here is my problem, I took it farther, about three years ago, I mustered up enough courage to answer an ad on a dating site of this man who was searching for a bottom friend that he could get together with from time to time. he was married as I am and he did not want to be found out either. well we met and his was the first cock I ever got on my knees to suck and it was a nice thick cock about 7 inches long or so and I learned how to suck his cock well enough that he started flooding my mouth with his cum everytime we would get together.

then it happened! the first time I allowed this man to fuck me, my wife was out of town so I let him come over to my home and we went to bedroom and played around a bit and I sucked him some and got him good and hard and he told me to turn over on my stomach so I did and I felt him squirt lube all over my ass and the next thing I felt was him on top of me pushing his cock in my ass and although it did hurt, it felt good at the same time, he took his time and went slow to get me used to it and before long he was fucking my ass like I fuck my wifes ass, he was pounding on me and I was moaning loudly, it honestly felt so damn good that I did not want him to stop, he kept hammering my ass until he flooded my ass with his cum.

well, for three years now, I have been his little bitch, I now wear panties for him and I always suck his cock and sometimes swallow his first load and then he will fuck me in a varity of positions until he cums in my ass and then he will get up and leave.

I now crave to be with him, I love how it feels when he fucks me, I love how he fucks me, I love how he will put me on my back and hold my legs up or bend me over doggie style, sometimes I ride him, it does not matter how he fucks me, I love having his cock in my ass!

my wife and I still fuck like crazy and lately she has brought up me being fucked by a man again and something inside me wants to tell her about my friend and how I suck him and he fucks me but I am so afraid that if and when I do she will be not only pissed that I have been seeing him for over three years but that I did not tell her about him.

I wonder if she is really that excited and turned on at the idea of me being fucked like that and sucking cock or does she somehow know what I have been doing and is trying to get me to tell her, I am afraid that if I tell her that it may backfire and make her want to leave me over it, I mean if she is turned on by it she may be pissed but just want to be involved and this may be what she is trying to do, but if she honestly does not know and finds out by me telling her then it might piss her off enough that it really does not turn her on that way..

I am very confused and do not know how to handle this situation, I will tell you however that she is the person that made me start thinking about men and cocks to start with, so should that be my defense if I tell her or not?? I just do not want to end up in divorce court with her telling everyone that I am gay when I am not gay I guess I am bi sexual because although I do like to suck cock and be fucked, I still love to eat pussy and fuck women, so any advice her would be appreciated. thank you.