Straight Female / 24
Please don't judge me. Read with an open mind and heart.
I love my husband, he is so good to me and I don't deserve it. He works hard (although he works a shit job because he has no ambition), he's thoughtful, he makes me laugh, he's my best friend. I really, really, really do love him. We haven't been married long, but I'm starting to realize that I'm just not attracted to him anymore. He's generally not the best-looking guy, he's overweight, and he acts like a pussy when he's hurt physically or emotionally. I can't even discuss problems in our marriage with him because he becomes so emotional and then makes me feel guilty. He acts like a puppy that I've just kicked down the stairs whenever there's a hint of unhappiness in my voice. He wants to have sex more, but I don't want to have sex with him because he's made himself so unattractive to me. And I don't know how to tell him these things because of kicked puppy.
Before we got married we agreed that he would be the bread-winner. As a little girl and to this day I dream of a nice car, a nice house with a yard for my dog, sparkling jewelry, a closet full of couture, and, at the very least, a manicure once per week and a pedicure once per month. Now, I realize that I may sound a bit materialistic, however, I say I want these things, but deep down all I really want is security. I want to know that if my car broke down it wouldn't be a problem. I want to be able to take my dog to the vet. I want the security of knowing that my electricity will never be shut off. In addition to that, our families live 1,500 miles apart. If we made decent money, we could visit our families. One of us wouldn't have to be miserable away from their family, and the other feeling guilty. I truly believe that money CAN buy happiness, because it buys freedom. Granted, there are other factors that come in to play- I don't think that money's the only thing that can make a person happy or that money guarantees happiness.
But, I digress. The point is, he promised me that he would provide for me. Before you go hatin' on me, I'm a full time student and I work two part time jobs. I also do the majority of the housework. I pull my weight. And I understand that he's not sure what he wants to do yet, but I wish that in the mean time he would do something that would make us money! He's got skills that people pay big bucks for. He claims that he wants to utilize those skills. But he's not applying to jobs. He's not doing anything. He has no ambition and it's just not sexy. You know what would be hot?? If he would support us; provide for me like he promised.
You should also know that I'm incredibly hot. Granted, I'm a basket case, and I'd be surprised to know there's another man out there willing to deal with my bullshit... but, I make an effort to look beautiful every day. You'd think he'd do the same?? I will give him this: he was a slob before we were married, too. But this on top of other issues... If you're going to have no ambition and not provide for our family, please at least shave your face once in a while?? Change your socks more than once per week?? Maybe even go nuts and brush your teeth on occasion.
We go through ebbs and flows in our sex life. Right now we're in an ebb and I'm so f***ing horny but I just can't have sex with him. I just can't.
There are so many wonderful qualities about my husband. He really is an amazing man and I love him dearly. I go through this once per year and I usually get over it in a few weeks. But every time it gets harder and harder. Especially because I know I could have a hot, passionate roll in the sack with any hottie of my choosing. At the moment, I'm being pursued by two men, even though they realize I'm married (yes, I know they're scum bags for even wanting to do a married woman), and one of them is GORGEOUS. He's kind of an arrogant prick and would never be there for me emotionally like my husband. He likely wouldn't have any respect for me at all. But that doesn't mean I'm not climbing the walls wanting to jump his bones! Ahhh just to have that freedom to hook up with gorgeous, single men. Even just for a day... I might sound mean and awful, but I needed to get this off my chest. I refuse to complain about my husband to my friends and family. And of course I can't tell him (kicked puppy), so this is my only choice. Lord, help me.
I love my husband, he is so good to me and I don't deserve it. He works hard (although he works a shit job because he has no ambition), he's thoughtful, he makes me laugh, he's my best friend. I really, really, really do love him. We haven't been married long, but I'm starting to realize that I'm just not attracted to him anymore. He's generally not the best-looking guy, he's overweight, and he acts like a pussy when he's hurt physically or emotionally. I can't even discuss problems in our marriage with him because he becomes so emotional and then makes me feel guilty. He acts like a puppy that I've just kicked down the stairs whenever there's a hint of unhappiness in my voice. He wants to have sex more, but I don't want to have sex with him because he's made himself so unattractive to me. And I don't know how to tell him these things because of kicked puppy.
Before we got married we agreed that he would be the bread-winner. As a little girl and to this day I dream of a nice car, a nice house with a yard for my dog, sparkling jewelry, a closet full of couture, and, at the very least, a manicure once per week and a pedicure once per month. Now, I realize that I may sound a bit materialistic, however, I say I want these things, but deep down all I really want is security. I want to know that if my car broke down it wouldn't be a problem. I want to be able to take my dog to the vet. I want the security of knowing that my electricity will never be shut off. In addition to that, our families live 1,500 miles apart. If we made decent money, we could visit our families. One of us wouldn't have to be miserable away from their family, and the other feeling guilty. I truly believe that money CAN buy happiness, because it buys freedom. Granted, there are other factors that come in to play- I don't think that money's the only thing that can make a person happy or that money guarantees happiness.
But, I digress. The point is, he promised me that he would provide for me. Before you go hatin' on me, I'm a full time student and I work two part time jobs. I also do the majority of the housework. I pull my weight. And I understand that he's not sure what he wants to do yet, but I wish that in the mean time he would do something that would make us money! He's got skills that people pay big bucks for. He claims that he wants to utilize those skills. But he's not applying to jobs. He's not doing anything. He has no ambition and it's just not sexy. You know what would be hot?? If he would support us; provide for me like he promised.
You should also know that I'm incredibly hot. Granted, I'm a basket case, and I'd be surprised to know there's another man out there willing to deal with my bullshit... but, I make an effort to look beautiful every day. You'd think he'd do the same?? I will give him this: he was a slob before we were married, too. But this on top of other issues... If you're going to have no ambition and not provide for our family, please at least shave your face once in a while?? Change your socks more than once per week?? Maybe even go nuts and brush your teeth on occasion.
We go through ebbs and flows in our sex life. Right now we're in an ebb and I'm so f***ing horny but I just can't have sex with him. I just can't.
There are so many wonderful qualities about my husband. He really is an amazing man and I love him dearly. I go through this once per year and I usually get over it in a few weeks. But every time it gets harder and harder. Especially because I know I could have a hot, passionate roll in the sack with any hottie of my choosing. At the moment, I'm being pursued by two men, even though they realize I'm married (yes, I know they're scum bags for even wanting to do a married woman), and one of them is GORGEOUS. He's kind of an arrogant prick and would never be there for me emotionally like my husband. He likely wouldn't have any respect for me at all. But that doesn't mean I'm not climbing the walls wanting to jump his bones! Ahhh just to have that freedom to hook up with gorgeous, single men. Even just for a day... I might sound mean and awful, but I needed to get this off my chest. I refuse to complain about my husband to my friends and family. And of course I can't tell him (kicked puppy), so this is my only choice. Lord, help me.
