I was looking for a place on-line for a place you could tell someone who did not know you anything, and I came a cross this site.
If I am honest about it my girlfriend Kelly is about a 6-7 out of ten. She is not so much hot as she is cute and not so much a babe as she is "doable". She is not fat at all really, maybe a tad chubby a tiny bit. She is not ugly, her bod is average with b cup tities but she is likely considered average at best over all. Which is ok because I am likely a 4-5 on a scale of 10. I am a large guy, and I don't dress well. I just don't got much going for me because I grew up in a poor family and as did Kelly and I am just glad to have her.
We met freshman year at state university. She is here on scholarships and I have student loans up to my ears and even with part time jobs I am barely hanging in here which is why I feel honored to have a girl like Kelly. What she lacks in super looks or body, she makes up for in the sack. We don't have a lot mot money to go out for we stay in and screw each others brains out a lot. Hey, I'll take an average girl who puts out like crazy over a crazy hot girl who keeps her legs crossed any day.
Maybe the reason I rated her on a 10 scale to start with is more than just being a judgmental pig who sums up a women's worth based on her looks. I mean, all men do it, if they admit it or not. We rate every girl we look at. Even when we love a girl our piggishness ratings of her is based on looks, tits, and curves. But there was more to this then that. I was insecure and I noticed her texting a lot and then I noticed her needing to leave shorting after texting. I mean she tried to cover it up and wait and make an excuse but after while I could not miss it. She got a text and shortly after left. I graded her, and low balled her score because in my heart I knew she was cheating on me. I guess I thought if I made her score low enough in my mind I'd convince myself no one else would want her. Yet, the truth is nobody else would want me. Really, no one else ever has. Kelly, was my first girlfriend, first kiss, first blow job, and first fuck. She taught me everything and by the time I made her she was very experienced. And she is very affectionate with me, even clingy, and emotionally attached but there still are those text messages and her leaving after them. No matter how good the sex, and how close emotionally she felt to me, deep down I knew it. I think I did not call her on it because I did not want it is end.
Then one day she fell asleep in my dorm and left her phone unlocked. It was the first time I ever saw it unlocked. I did not want to look but I knew I had to. I sat and I stared at it for over an hour and then I grabbed it opened it, and scroll through the text messages. She was smart and only had a few days texts left on her phone. Clearly, she cleaned her text box out often. Even so it was worse then my worse nightmare there were over a dozen guys she was texting making promises of graphic sex acts, blow jobs, and even anal sex. And there was even nude pics she had sexted of both her and other men together. One had her given head with several other mean in the background waiting. I snapped. I was broken. I did not know what to do.
Kelly awoke because she heard me sobbing. At first she as freaking out about what was wrong, Then she saw her phone next to me and she understood what I had saw. She flung herself at me, grabbed me, hugged me, and started to cry saying over and over, "I am sorry, I am sorry, damn it, you were not suppose to know. Barry, please I am so sorry, don't hate me. I love you so much. You have to believe that." And she just kept saying that over and over. We sat on me bed both crying until it got dark and we slept.
The next day, she came clean. She had no scholarships. She was not cheating on me in the traditional sense, she was a whore. A real life, hooker and it was the only possible way she could pay for her schooling. She told me she was doing this before she met me. And she showed me old Backpages and Craigslist ads that were dated that confirms her story. She said, she did not mean to met me and fall in love. And once she did she wanted to tell me and she did not know how. She had a good point; just how to you tell some you are dating you are a whore for hire?? And then the more you fall in love it gets harder and harder.
For a while she straight up quit. And I did all I could to help her with money and she worked on top of school work too. However, when she fell so far behind and she was about to be booted out of school and I had no more money to help with I let her put her ad back up and go on "dates" as long as she did not hide it from me. I have since taken her to her dates at the driver and waited outside for her to finish. Once I actually watched her because she did not feel safe with the guy.
Sometimes I see her after she has turned a trick staring off in space like she can't deal with it. She is often moody afterwards. Other times I look at her and think she is such a fucking whore how could I be with her. I know that is wrong, but I have seen some weeks when she has been with over 12 guys or more.
So what to all think. Is she really doing this to stay in school or is she just a slut who got caught and is playing the game now. Sometimes is messes with my mind and I am never sure.