I am 18 and in community college and really into the party culture hear. I still pull good grades dispute late nigjts, good drugs and a lot of drinking.
I have only been dating Rob for a few weeks and I confess the the primary reason is he gets me high and drunk a lot and I don't have to pay. I like to chill when he has his boys over playing video games because the smoke a lot and it is really good shit. It got kind weird last Tuesday when we where all super stoned and between video games Rob was feeling me up with his hands up my shirt and down mypants in front of the guys. Some trued not to watch or pretended not to as Rob literal rubbed my pussy until I fought back the quietest organism of my life as I sat of his lap and he had his hands in my pants. I guess in part I was so high I thought I was tripping.

But last night it happened again this time I was just as high and we were all doing shots. He started again rubbing my fits and pussy while I sat on his lap. But this time he got hard and was grinding his hard on under me. It really turned me on because thus time some of the guys were directly watching. Then Rob says, "Baby I need you to blow me." And every one heard. I giggled and got up and took him by the hand and planned to take him to his room and blow him. That was not him plan. When he pull me back him pants were down and his dick hard and waving around. I looked shocked and started to shake me head as if to say no way but he laughed and gave me a few hits off a joint and put his hand on my shoulders and ggently lower me to my knees. I should have ran for the door but I was so fucked up I decided to just go with it. I am a party girl and I have been a little loose before but I also demand respect so trust me when I say I'd never do that sober. I was just so high and drunk I could barely stand let long walk out. And I guess I figured what is the difference if I blow him here or in his room everyone knows what I'd be doing back there.
Well it turned out there was a huge difference because I'd no more swallowed Rob's load and another dick was in my face. I looked up and it was Rob's best friend Mike and everyone was chanting "Suck it suck it suck it". I looked around for Rob and he was chanting it too and he began to put pressure on the back of my head as Mike put his dick to my mouth lips. The pressure from Rob on the back of my head was enough in my stoned condition and Mike's dick was in my mouth.
I am really not proud of what happened this is not a brag post. But it all happened so fast and I was so embarrassed and even humulated that I did no know how to react so I just went with it and sucked it. Please don't judge me because I'll be a slut for my man, and even bang a friend how gets me high but being passed around like this is not my style at all. Yet, by the end of the night I had blown them all. So that made 5 guys in total.
Today was so fucking hard because I seen them all at school. And they were either giggling or oggling me up and down like they want more. Honestly, I did not mind the act of blowing them, honestly it made me so fucking wet, and honestly after they left Rob fucked so fucking hard it was the best sex of my life. But also honestly I know what I did was just plain wrong. A girl has to have some limits and if people knew I did that I simply could not live with the shame despite how turned on doing it I got. And worst of it all one of the guys I blew was Byron who is a long term boyfriend of one of my best friends. Rebecca gave him her virginity in senior year high school and they have been steady ever since. I feel like shit, how will I ever look her in the eye again?? If she found out I'd die. Worse yet, I have to live with the fact that I know her living boyfriend who she plans to marry is a cheating sucumbag who helped get a girl high and then used her mouth like a sex toy.
I have so many conflicting thoughts in my head. Even typing this I go from crying to being turned on thinking of being on my knees sucking dick after dick and swallowing it all like a good girl as Robby watches me knowing he was likely planning to use me like this from day one. Oh fuck, it is so wrong and gross, but why I am I so damn wet and hot think about it.
Robby told me he has so really good shit this weekend and I should hang with he and the guys this Sunday afternoon. I am not stupid, I know if I go it will be more then blow jobs. They will literally run a train on me taking turns banging my ass off. In the past I would have judge a slut any ho who'd be that cheap and dirty...but now this has me like a deer caught in the head lights. Can I do this?? And if I do will I be able to live with myself. I am curious and as sick as it is a little turned on. Rob did assure me nobody has to know and the truth is I already crossed the line when I blew them all. But even if I did, how can I justify fucking Byron behind my girlfriend's back?? I feel like shit for it, yet I already blew him and swallowed his junk so I guess I am already that girl.

I fear I have to break up with Robby if I want to avoid this. It is that simple that if I stay with him be it this weekend on not sooner or later his boys are gonna go to town on me ridding me like a train.

Ugh, help me! I am so conflicted. I never dreamed I'd be "That Girl", who you heard rumors about doing shit like this. But I really like Robby, the sex, and while other guys will get me stoned Robby gets good stuff.

Advice????????????

Sorry for the poor typing I am typing this on my phone so my roommate does not see.