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Anything Goes
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Straight Female / 27
I guess this is where to post this. I write things, and then just tear them up or delete them. I am in a messed up relationship. It is really messed up and I can't get out, I can no more leave than I can stop breathing. Believe me, I have left, and never got passed the firts on ramp and turned back and went 'home'.
I am 27 and I have two children. The father of my kids did not give me a choice about having sex with him, about having children with him, about living with him. I was 23, out of college, living on my own for the first time, had a job working for a large company. It is there that I met him. He is a transportation supervisor, he used to be a truck driver. He is Mexican and he is 50 years old. He is 'macho' from the old school.
I was working at my new job for three weeks when we met, he was at the office delivering some paperwork. He called me 'guerita' and told me in Spanish that he was going to fuck me. The other girls in the room, who are all hispanic, laughed at what he said, and they translated and told me that now I was going to get what I deserved. One girl told me that there was nothing better than knowing that a guerita got it good, and that I should prepare myself because he was going to give it to me good.
That evening after work he was waiting for me when we got off work, he took me by the neck and walked me to his pick up and put me and closed the door. One of the Mexican girls looked at me and put her ring and thumb together in a circle and used the other hand and pushed a finger through the circle and then, clenched her fists and acted out a man screwing a girl. He took me to his house, where he lived with his common law wife and two daughters and took me back to his room and screwed me. There was no warming up or anything, he just screwed me and his common law wife and daughtes came into the room to get me dressed.
I slept there that night, because he wouldn't take me back to my apartment. His daughters were all over me, because I was so white, they are very brown. They said that I was now their father's new girlfriend, and that I was real good. When I went to my apartment it was to get my things, I moved in with him and live with him. I have two daughters, they are more like him than me.
I have learned to live in this culture, these men are not what I grew up with, and once they have you, you don't leave. I can't leave and his common law wife can't leave. We both live in the same house. Better to put up with it than fight it, you can't win. His daughters are now off with their men, having babies just like me. Because he has a common law wife I am referred to as the girlfriend 'novia' or his white woman 'mujer guera'. I have picked up a lot of Spanish, and refer to him as the man of the house, or 'el marido'.
I will admit or confess or ehatever you want to call it that from the first moment he screwed me that evening I was his. Actually from the moment he put me in the pick up. I don't dwell on it anymore, but for a long time I used to try and explain it. His common law wife is of the opinion that men like him 'take a woman' and that's that. Game over. Like her, like me. A Mexican's wife.
I am 27 and I have two children. The father of my kids did not give me a choice about having sex with him, about having children with him, about living with him. I was 23, out of college, living on my own for the first time, had a job working for a large company. It is there that I met him. He is a transportation supervisor, he used to be a truck driver. He is Mexican and he is 50 years old. He is 'macho' from the old school.
I was working at my new job for three weeks when we met, he was at the office delivering some paperwork. He called me 'guerita' and told me in Spanish that he was going to fuck me. The other girls in the room, who are all hispanic, laughed at what he said, and they translated and told me that now I was going to get what I deserved. One girl told me that there was nothing better than knowing that a guerita got it good, and that I should prepare myself because he was going to give it to me good.
That evening after work he was waiting for me when we got off work, he took me by the neck and walked me to his pick up and put me and closed the door. One of the Mexican girls looked at me and put her ring and thumb together in a circle and used the other hand and pushed a finger through the circle and then, clenched her fists and acted out a man screwing a girl. He took me to his house, where he lived with his common law wife and two daughters and took me back to his room and screwed me. There was no warming up or anything, he just screwed me and his common law wife and daughtes came into the room to get me dressed.
I slept there that night, because he wouldn't take me back to my apartment. His daughters were all over me, because I was so white, they are very brown. They said that I was now their father's new girlfriend, and that I was real good. When I went to my apartment it was to get my things, I moved in with him and live with him. I have two daughters, they are more like him than me.
I have learned to live in this culture, these men are not what I grew up with, and once they have you, you don't leave. I can't leave and his common law wife can't leave. We both live in the same house. Better to put up with it than fight it, you can't win. His daughters are now off with their men, having babies just like me. Because he has a common law wife I am referred to as the girlfriend 'novia' or his white woman 'mujer guera'. I have picked up a lot of Spanish, and refer to him as the man of the house, or 'el marido'.
I will admit or confess or ehatever you want to call it that from the first moment he screwed me that evening I was his. Actually from the moment he put me in the pick up. I don't dwell on it anymore, but for a long time I used to try and explain it. His common law wife is of the opinion that men like him 'take a woman' and that's that. Game over. Like her, like me. A Mexican's wife.
