I have a steady boyfriend for the last three years who I do love dearly. He's a Chief petty officer in the Navy and often away for months at a time. I know his family very well and associate with them for parties and other family functions even when he is away. My guilt involves his cousin Sam who I got involved with over a year ago. It was after a graduation party for my boyfriends youngest sister. My boyfriend was away and when Sam drove me home I invited him in for a drink which turned out to be my downfall. Sam is handsome with a fantastic personality and at first we just sat around talking for an hour or so. I did have quite a bit to drink that day but can't blame the booze for what happened that first time. It started inocently with him massaging my shoulders and the next thing I knew the zipper was down on my dress and his hands holding my breasts. I got up from the chair and willingly began making out with him ending up on the sofa where we undressed each other. I hadn't been with my boyfriend in several months and responded to his affections. We had intercouse on the sofa and then went into my bedroom where we continued having sex most of the night. I not only had intercouse with him but we also gave oral sex to each other. After a few hours sleep he stayed with me the entire day which was a Sunday. I was so mezmerized I just continued submitting to him and we even showered together. Sam had me so aroused the entire time I permitted him to actually ravash my body more than my boyfriend ever had. It was the first time I was ever penitrated annaly and the first time I ever had intercouse in such awkward positions. I gave him oral sex twice that Sunday but don't remember how many times he did it to me in ways my boyfriend never had. Orgasms, I have know conseption of how many I had because it seemed like one hour long climax after another. The guilt never hit me until Monday morning and I called out of work and cried most of the day. I called Sam that night and told him how I felt and that it couldn't happen again and he did agree we should never have gotten involved like we did. I didn't speak to Sam for several weeks and then one Friday night he called me and asked to come over to talk. We did talk but this time it turned into a full weekend of sex. We only stopped having sex to eat or drink something and Sam had a way of getting me to do things I never experienced before. My boyfriend had used my vibrator to satisfy me a few times but Sam masturbated me in ways I never thought about. To be honest Sam had me exposed to him more ways than my boyfriend ever had and somehow had me responding to anal stimualtion as he gave me a combination of maturbation and oral sex. Sams penis is not as big as my boyfriends penis so when I would give oral sex to him I could almost have it all in my mouth. My boyfriend always tells me when he is ready to cum but Sam never does and his was the fist time I ever tasted semen. That Saturday night I even let him shave my pubic area which again my boyfriend had never done or even asked to do. After that weekend Sam came over for at least one night every weekend and as much as I still feel guilty about it I just let go and let Sam have me however he wants. I still see Sam at least once a week even when my boyfriend is home. I don't love Sam but never have I been so sexually satisfied in my life when I am with him. I know my boyfriend doesn't know whats going on and I find myself having more sex with my boyfriend and giving him more oral sex than ever before. I suppose I do this to try to compensate for my betrayal of him. Fortunately he rarely sees Sam and I think Sam avoids some of the family gatherings because of my involvement with him. Sam says he feels guilt also but that doesn't stop us from seeing each other especially when my boyfriend is away. Whats really saddens me is that I like and love my boyfriend and adore his family. He's never asked to marry me yet but I think he may in the future. I can't imagine at this time giving up the sex I have with Sam no matter how guilty and dispicable I am when it comes to my boyfriend.