I'm a 20 year old male.I've never had sex, nor a girlfriend or even a kiss.Not that I couldn't, from what I can tell I'm fairly attractive.Women seem to be intimidated by my looks quite a bit.The problem is I think I'm asexual.The only thing keeping me from being sure is that it goes further than that;I'm afraid and offended of personal head-on intimacy.I don't trust anyone enough to show romantic desire to anyone,including sex.I'm not so sure I'd be comfortable just having sex with a random person.Any type of sexual affection would make me incredibly uneasy.I guess I'm a very sensitive guy,but romance seems lame to me, almost embarrassing.I don't like attention and if I ever did have a girlfriend I think it would be my personal business, but then I'd have to introduce her to people and that seems unnecessary to me and would leave me feeling vulnerable.I never show any feelings, even me typing this incredibly rare.

As far as women I'm completely lost. I don't want a woman but there seems to be a social push to have a partner so that makes it awkward for me and any potential mate that approaches.Feels forced, but I'm not sure if it natural for me.I'm totally confused as to if I really want to have a partner, or if I haven't met that special person yet or if it'll all go away once I get my feet wet.I'm not very social and haven't happened upon any situations where anything sexual could happen, but I don't avoid it.

Romance altogether(including sex) feels to me like rape or coercion for a normal person.Or all the few "small to the world but big to me" encounters that I've had.I fantasize about love but of course that has no bearing in reality.And I must admit that I do not trust women.Not women specifically but I am heterosexual so they are the only candidates for trust or distrust.Basically I don't trust people with intimacy.I value my feelings very highly and if the person I entrusted with them abused them I don't think I could handle it.

What's causing me to confess this is my upcoming birthday.I'll be 21 in a few weeks, and I worry if my window is closing.I never have the urge to start a relationship but I don't want to pass that up if I change my mind later on in life.I just don't know what to label it. I don't think its asexuality because the lack of sex stems from the lack of any romantic interest with another human being.