Because of my attitude and domanant personality I've driven away two husbands and numerous men I have dated over the years. I don't hate men but I have a terrible desire to control, dictate and even humiliate them. I am a big woman, not that I am obese but 6 ft. tall and always seemed to prefer small men who I am able to control. Unfortunately my over aggressive behaviour sooner or later chases them away most of the time quickly. I always wanted to punish them for anything I thought offensive or for that matter things I myself blew out of proportion. I insisted on spanking them and there were three that put up with me for many months but most who couldn't tolarate me at all. It wasn't always mean things but I always had the desire to have men undressed in front of me and in many cases insist I bathe them and masturbate them. For me it was to humiliate them although most of the men didn't mind me doing that. I forced most of these men to submit to my penitrating there rectums with dildos and often vibrators as I masturbated them. There were some who seemed to like it but others who I knew hated me doing that to them. I only had sex with about half these men but did masturbate and spank all of them some many times other only a few times. All of these men were afraid of me and that always pleased me when I had that much control over them no matter how short lived it may have been. I would act angry even when I wasn't just to intimadate them more ordering them to strip naked for me to whip them with a strap. One guy I spanked three times in two days and when I got home from work the following day he was gone and I've never seen him since. I tried to change a few times but my desire to do these things is so strong I can't. It got to where I couldn't keep a man more than a month and sometimes a week or two even when I let them move in with me. Aside from the two husbands I've had seven other men have lived in my house. I have only had two who lived here more than seven months except for Eric who has lived with me now for over two years. What I have learned is that the younger and smaller they are the easier they are to intimadate and control.

Eric is 23 just about 5'5" and I don't think he weighs more than about 125lbs. He's from Ohio and from what I've heard from him he grew up in a disfunctional home. He's a high school drop out and works at a local gas station where I always buy my cigarettes and first met him. I only knew him a few months when I began offering to let him live in my house sensing his naivety and lack of education. Not that he is stupid but by his demeanor I could tell he would be easily controlled. Before he moved in I warned him I am a strick woman and telling him he was a child to me. I think he decided to except my offer because I was sure he was only making minimum wages at his job. The first few days I was subtle with him but told him in no uncertain terms that I would spank him if he broke any of my rules. He smiled the first few times I said that but soon was aware it was no joke. I let him have the back bedroom since that door never had a lock and the bathroom door hasn't had a working lock for fifteen years. The first week I walked in on him twice which I knew embarrassed him but I only told him theres no privacy in my house. I only charge him $50 a week which barely covers the food he eats and I do make him dinner each night insisting he do the dishes afterwards. During the first month I never spanked him but I did walk in the bathroom 11 times seeing him naked. Aside from his short and thin stature he also has a small penis which I think made him more embarrased when I saw him. Day by day my tone of voice with him became more harsh and I could see he was both afraid and intimadated by me. I began critisizing him for the way he made his bed, did the dishes and other meanial things to instil fear. He was living here 7 weeks the first time I spanked him. Two dirty forks he didn't wash was my excuse and after showing them to him ordered him to my bedroom where I keep the strap telling him as we went up the steps I was going to spank him. When in my room I acted furious and told him to take his clothes off. I doubt he believed me serious at the time and actually started crying. I repeated it over and over also using the word strip. Even then he didn't realize I meant fully naked because he hesitated when down to his jockey shorts. Thats when I said if he didn't take them off that I would. There he was naked covering his penis with his hands and I made him lay face down on the bed. I only hit him 8 times but each swat with the strap gave his rear end welts. After I whipped him I told him to fill the bathtub and get in it. I think by then he was in a state of shock but did as he was told. Once in the tub I walked into the bathroom telling him if he was going to do things like a child he would be treated that way. His humiliation excited me and after I washed his hair I wet his back and chest with a wash cloth and made him stand up in the tub. Again he had tears as I washed his body head to foot paying special attention to his genitals. At one point I purposely held his penis as I washed his scrotum and he did get an erection and I knew right away he was so humuliated he probably wanted to scream. I was suprised since his erection was about five inches but I didn't maturbate him or say anything about it. I finally told him to rense off and go to bed. Then I went to my room to masturbate myself.

I know I sound cruel but this is what I have been looking for, for many years. He's the youngest I ever had any control over and now is completely submissive to me. It only took me a few months to acheived what I could never do with any other men. He became and still is totally obedient to me. I always find a way to spank him a few times a month but in other ways am very good to him. Depending on my mood I usually bathe him 3 or 4 nights a week and began masturbating him within the first 6 months he was here. He is not nearly as embarrassed as before but I think it is still humiliating to him when I see his limp penis. I have also been shaving his pubic hair for over a year and a half. That used to really get him embarrassed but now he gets erections when I shave him there. About that same time is when I began penitrating him anally with my dildo and vibrator. I expose him naked in the most humiliating positions I can think of and still doubt if he likes me doing that. Thats when I touch and play with his scrotum and penis and when I put vasiline around his anus he flinches knowing he is going to be penitrated that night. I do masturbate him when I penitrate him and do know he likes the masturbation part of it. He has never seen me naked and I am certain he doesn't realize how aroused I get when doing all this to him. As soon as I'm finished with him I go to my room and masturbate myself often having numerous orgasms. No matter what I tell him to do he does it without complaining knowing if he talks back to me or gives me a hard time he will be spanked. I can usually get him to ejaculate twice and often am able to have him get an erection a third time but he seldom cums again when I do this. He no longer ever tries to resist my wishes and only obeys my commands. When I first began the anal penitration he used to say "please no" but he no longer says a word about it or the ways I position him. Its like he just gave in to me and as much as I am fulfilling my desires I find a lot of what I do to him pleases him also. He still blushes often but as much as it use to embarrass him I think he likes me bathing him and know he likes being masturbated. Sometimes I make him masturbate himself and think that is still humiliating to him as the anal penitration is. He has two friends that I know of but I'm sure they have no conseption of what I do to him. I have told him many times in the past that he is free to move out whenever he wants but he hasn't. He probably thinks I'm a crazy old lady without understanding that he is satifying my sexual needs as strange as they may be. I think about having sex with a man but the way things are with Eric I am satisfied.