Straight Male / 31
I have had this fantasy about being castrated for several years but I never told anyone, just imagined it. Just after Christmas we got a new worker and later I found out that she didn't like men and then later still that she had been abused. Well my mind got a hold of those thoughts and she became that woman who would do it. It took a while and a big risk but I deliberately left my journal in a place where she could find it. The journal contained of my fantasy thoughts, but not her being a part of them. The next day my journal was on my desk and written in it were the words, "If it were me that tied you up, I would finish what I started."
It went from that to emails. It went from emails to phone calls and then lots more interest about from her, and then came research about how it can be done outside a hospital.
I ended up telling her my fantasy details and she said that she could do all of it and more. What she started asking for was "her guarantee" which meant me giving her something that would make it so I would never tell who the person was that castrated me. The guarantee that I offered was to tell her about money I was stealing from our company. Once I told her that and gave her the proof then she said "Okay I'm going to cut your balls off on Saturday."
I felt a mix of being afraid and being excited. I mean to me it had always been only an imagination, but suddenly it was going to be real and it was all up to me.
My fantasy wasn't just about being castrated, but by a woman, by someone I would be seeing lots later on. I had told her that I wanted her to video tape it. I told her that she could tell whoever she wanted. I told her that she could even have someone we knew come and watch. I told her that I might chicken out once I was tied up so to make sure she did a good job tying me down. I told her all the things that would make me feel ashamed and regretful but that those fears were part of the fantasy. It was like "Hey use my warped desire to get me tied up and then.....
It was really stupid what I did. Fantasy and reality didn't match. She tied me on a shop work table on my hands and knees. She earlier had someone move a hoist next to the table. There was a hook on a cable on the hoist and she put the end of the hook into my anus and used the hoist to lift me until the ropes on my hands and feet pulled tight. That by itself changed my mind about the whole thing. But nothing I said would change her mind. Then she put a rope around my testicles and pulled them back and up until it felt like they would be pulled out by the roots. Then she turned on the video camera that I had gotten and showed me what I looked like, how people would see me. I never imagined looking like that.
She put her Android phone on speaker and called a co-worker we knew and told her that we were in the shop and that she had me all ready to cut off my balls. She let Jen talk to me and tell me what a ass I was and how I didn't deserve to have balls. And then she took a picture of me and sent it to her and promised to send another showing me without balls. And then she called one of her friends to prove to her that she was really going to do it.
Right now there are at least six people that I know of that know that I was castrated and two of them for sure saw the video. What they saw wasn't like my fantasy. It was pretty bad.
When I saw her coming back with the scissors and saying "It's time to make your dream come true." I was overcome with a sense of self preservation. I wanted to get loose so bad but that hook really kept me from giving it my all because it made it so I could hardly move.
When I felt the scissors cut into the skin of my scrotum I felt like what a panic attack must feel like. I started to beg her to stop, that I changed my mind. She said, " I'm just giving you your dream come true. I'm just giving you what you wanted."
Then white hot shooting pain that knocked the wind out of me. My brain was screaming at me to do something, that I had to make this stop. And then another shooting head to toe horrible pain.
I remember my whole body shaking from what I just experienced. I remember thinking "What did you do?? You can't go back from this." and then the realization sunk in so deep that I wasn't a man anymore like I was before.
And she held them up for the camera and me and said, "Look what you don't have anymore. So, how do you like being neutered??" And I didn't like anything about it and I wanted off that hook to be away from her and the camera and the people on the phones.
Now I go to work and there she is and the people who know. And just like she said, "for now on whenever we see each other we both will remember when I cut off your balls."
I guess the moral is; Be careful what you wish for because someday you might get it.
It went from that to emails. It went from emails to phone calls and then lots more interest about from her, and then came research about how it can be done outside a hospital.
I ended up telling her my fantasy details and she said that she could do all of it and more. What she started asking for was "her guarantee" which meant me giving her something that would make it so I would never tell who the person was that castrated me. The guarantee that I offered was to tell her about money I was stealing from our company. Once I told her that and gave her the proof then she said "Okay I'm going to cut your balls off on Saturday."
I felt a mix of being afraid and being excited. I mean to me it had always been only an imagination, but suddenly it was going to be real and it was all up to me.
My fantasy wasn't just about being castrated, but by a woman, by someone I would be seeing lots later on. I had told her that I wanted her to video tape it. I told her that she could tell whoever she wanted. I told her that she could even have someone we knew come and watch. I told her that I might chicken out once I was tied up so to make sure she did a good job tying me down. I told her all the things that would make me feel ashamed and regretful but that those fears were part of the fantasy. It was like "Hey use my warped desire to get me tied up and then.....
It was really stupid what I did. Fantasy and reality didn't match. She tied me on a shop work table on my hands and knees. She earlier had someone move a hoist next to the table. There was a hook on a cable on the hoist and she put the end of the hook into my anus and used the hoist to lift me until the ropes on my hands and feet pulled tight. That by itself changed my mind about the whole thing. But nothing I said would change her mind. Then she put a rope around my testicles and pulled them back and up until it felt like they would be pulled out by the roots. Then she turned on the video camera that I had gotten and showed me what I looked like, how people would see me. I never imagined looking like that.
She put her Android phone on speaker and called a co-worker we knew and told her that we were in the shop and that she had me all ready to cut off my balls. She let Jen talk to me and tell me what a ass I was and how I didn't deserve to have balls. And then she took a picture of me and sent it to her and promised to send another showing me without balls. And then she called one of her friends to prove to her that she was really going to do it.
Right now there are at least six people that I know of that know that I was castrated and two of them for sure saw the video. What they saw wasn't like my fantasy. It was pretty bad.
When I saw her coming back with the scissors and saying "It's time to make your dream come true." I was overcome with a sense of self preservation. I wanted to get loose so bad but that hook really kept me from giving it my all because it made it so I could hardly move.
When I felt the scissors cut into the skin of my scrotum I felt like what a panic attack must feel like. I started to beg her to stop, that I changed my mind. She said, " I'm just giving you your dream come true. I'm just giving you what you wanted."
Then white hot shooting pain that knocked the wind out of me. My brain was screaming at me to do something, that I had to make this stop. And then another shooting head to toe horrible pain.
I remember my whole body shaking from what I just experienced. I remember thinking "What did you do?? You can't go back from this." and then the realization sunk in so deep that I wasn't a man anymore like I was before.
And she held them up for the camera and me and said, "Look what you don't have anymore. So, how do you like being neutered??" And I didn't like anything about it and I wanted off that hook to be away from her and the camera and the people on the phones.
Now I go to work and there she is and the people who know. And just like she said, "for now on whenever we see each other we both will remember when I cut off your balls."
I guess the moral is; Be careful what you wish for because someday you might get it.
