I'm straight, by which I mean that I've only ever had romantic feelings towards women. As a teenager, I was only aroused by women, and I found gay sex, honestly, disgusting. I did a lot of masturbation to internet porn over the years, and as is often the case, it started to become boring. So I decided to push the boundaries and get a new thrill by forcing myself to jack off to pictures of men instead of women. The first few times, I had to get myself to the edge of orgasm by looking at straight porn, and then switch the pic at the last second in order to say I'd jacked off looking at a guy. Pretty silly, I know.

When that got boring, I forced myself to look at male pics the whole time, though I actually had to think of women to get hard. As that got boring, I went from pics of naked men to pics of naked men doing things to other naked men. Pics of a guy sucking another guy's cock were shocking enough for a good thrill -- good enough in fact that somewhere around this time, I didn't have to think about women to aroused any more. I felt new shame at realizing that I really had jacked off to gay porn, no tricks involved.

I did this stuff off and on between mostly straight porn use. But I kept coming back to it.

A disturbing revelation came after a few more years, when I realized that I didn't think cocks or sucking cocks or even cocks sliding in and out of asses were disgusting any more -- on the contrary, I found them quite beautiful and indeed arousing in themselves. I noticed that just thinking of a naked man, his cock, his abs, his biceps even, would get me hard as a rock. Harder, and faster, in fact than thinking of a pussy or tits, or a woman's ass. It was like my heart was still straight, but my cock was bisexual -- and leaning to the gay side.

Today I still find women sexy and arousing. But judging by my cock-o-meter, I find a oily naked bodybuilder with his thick, uncut, half-hard cock hanging out in front sexier and more arousing than a naked supermodel with C cups. I still wouldn't want to date him, and if here were really standing in front of me like that, I'm not sure that I'd take him in my mouth. But I'm pretty sure I would, and that I'd cum without touching my own dick.