my story is just normal in that I am in an affair with a married man that I love and he is married to a wife that he won't divorce and I have to accept the time that he is with me. I have two kids with him, both planned, a boy and then a girl, he pays me child support which his wife resents, but then again I have to put up with her constant complaints about how much it costs. Sometimes when I am alone I hate her for denying me my place as his wife, but then I know that I came around long after he met her and it is not her fault that I am the main woman now and having children, hers are long grown up.

Once, after a long argument and lots of screaming and crying about all this he took me to their room and made me have intercourse with him in front of her so that she could see for herself that he was having intercourse with me and he told her that he wasn't going stop, that he was going to have intercourse with me and he was going to sleep with me, and that she had to accept that. After that she never yelled at me again. He has intercourse with her, but I suppose that it is not as often anymore, she is 56.

I feel sorry for her, but it is not my fault that it with my body that he finds his release and the need to lay his seed. I can still give him children, that is not her fault, she did when she was younger, but now she cannot and I can, and I can't do anything about that, it is with me that he has to have children now. I'm sorry, but that is nature, I can't change that and I wish she wasn't so angry at me for getting pregnant, I want her to love my children.

I wish that my turn in life would have been just to get married and have children in a normal house, but it wasn't to be, not for me, and not for her. It is just the way it turned out.

When I was young I dreamt about my life as a wife, the life she had as a wife when she was younger. I never had the life of a wife. That is what I lost for coming along after her, that is not her fault. And it is not my fault that he chose me too.