I turned 21 two nights ago, so I spent most of the last two days drinking hard. I woke up this morning on my back deck feeling horrible. I came inside and slept on my bed for about four hours and then got up and went to the shower. I started to undress and found my junk hanging out and crusted up with bits of pie crust, egg, bacon, etc. I freaked out, jumped in the shower and washed it all off. Then I went into my living room and listned to my mesages. Most were pretty standard for a drinking night, but the last one was from my girlfriend. She was screaming at me about how I ruined her family's New Years Day by taking the pre-cooked quiches out of the fridge and humping them to act out the scene from American Pie. She does't want to see me anymore.