This is about my exposure to real life. I was at the time the only child of a well educated but very hung up woman. My sex was not discussed or referred or noticed. It was a non entity.

One day, as things usually happen unexpectedly, my mother met a man of the world, a man who had little time for hang ups and had a lot of time for getting it on with my mother. He got it on with her, a lot. I was ten, so I was a curious youngster. My mother would not talk about it, she would just say things, like there are things we do not talk about. But he talked about it, a lot. He would say things like 'come over here so I can grab your tits'. He would push his hand up between her legs from behind, right there in the kitchen, and when she would invariably try to get away he would press her against the counter and ask her if she wanted 'some dick'.

One Saturday morning, I was talking a bath and he walked into the bathroom and just pulled out in front of me and peed in the toilet. I was naked in the bathtub, looking up at him, and he turned to me and showed me his penis, it was the first time I was 'naked with a man'. It is also, where I think I developed my unhealthy fascination with a penises.

As my mother's relationship with this man continued, it was inevitable that I would catch them copulating. It happened when I was thirteen, I was supposed to have gone to a girl friend's house, but I didn't and did not tell my mother. I was up in my room. They were downstairs, and had been sharing some wine and he got to wanting her and she was wanting him, and they went for it in the living room. The lamp on the end table fell off and made a racket, which I left my room to find out what it was, to find my mother with him in between her legs on the floor and his bare back side in plain view. I screamed 'what are you doing'. I stood there while he dismounted and her full naked self was exposed until she managed to get up and put on her pants.

The whole thing was an embarrassment to my mother, but we ended up at the table, when he took over and explained to me that he was 'fucking' her and she was made for 'fucking', just like I was made for 'fucking'. And that I had no business watching them, and that if I came upon them 'fucking' again I was to go back to my room and mind my own business. But, he went on, he was going to 'fuck' my mother, so I was to get used to it and accept it. It is also when they told me my mother was expecting my little sister.

One day, as things tend to happen, I got 'fucked' just like he said. It was on the carpet by the tv, when they were out shopping for a bedroom set for my sister (by then they were married because of my little sister). I was seventeen, and I can't say I wasn't scared, but I can say that I wanted it very much. I remember making my boy friend show me his penis before he did it, I wanted to see it, before he 'fucked' me.

My mother is still 'hung up' and won't talk about things, to me or my sister. But my step dad makes up for it, because he is just as bone headed about saying things now as he was when I was a kid growing up. You get used to it.