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When I Was A Kid
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Bi-Sexual Female / 19
my entire childhood I was extremely sexual. I'm not sure if it had to do with how early I learned about sex (my parents never censored anything from me, sex, vaginas/penises, profanity, shows with nudity and sexual nature, etc. have never been restricted.) or maybe with the fact that I walked in on my parents more than once but I do remember sexual events before that.
First one I remember was when I was 4 and a boy walked in on me using the toilet. I pretended I didn't see him watching me because honestly, I liked him watching. I even remember spreading my legs more so he could see.
Next I was 5 and a boy I thought was cute showed me his penis in class and asked if he could see my "parts". I said yes and was incredibly excited and proceeded to reach over and touch him while he did the same with me. Another student then saw so we stopped and luckily he kept quiet.
After that I remember an incident when I was 7 where there was a boy of the same age who I liked that lived next door. One day I took him into my room, laid him down behind my bed and got on top of him. We sloppily made out for a bit before I started undoing his pants and my own. I then instructed him on what to do since it was obvious he was lost. I told him to basically eat me out and placed myself on his mouth. he did, and guess just the idea of it made me enjoy myself because I doubt it was any good. My grandmother almost caught us on that one and I'm glad she did because If it hadn't been for her trying to open the locked door I probably would have lost my virginity as a 7 year old.
That was probably my last sexual experience with a boy for a while, If you have read this far I'd like to quickly apologize for all the terrible grammatical errors I've made and will be making in this post, I haven't slept in 2 days and I honestly could care less considering this is anonymous. Anyway, I realized most of my "fantasies" and dreams that involved boys where only for when I was fantasizing and didn't really interest me in real life (probably because most of them involved teenage boys like that kid who played Peter Pan in the 2003 version or Leonardo in Titanic). This was when I became extremely fascinated by women, especially girls my age because something about the innocence excited me.
Through 9 and 11 I probably played around a dozen of "truth or dare" games with girl friends which all ended in me teaching them what sex was and how it worked and felt good and how being attracted to other girls was okay. I don't remember any girl ever being hesitant to experiment, and the ones I do I also remember me stopping what I was doing completely because of the fear of a grown up finding out. But what would happen when they where interested, involved first kissing of course, then I had this way of making it into a game so it would be more exciting.
There where Levels:
1: kissing
2: kissing with tongue
3: kissing with tongue naked
4: feeling each other up while kissing with tongue naked
and so on. I'd keep going but honestly, we would drag each step out for as long as we could so we wouldn't run out of stuff to do (it was all in the foreplay I guess).
the farthest the levels would go, where usually our attempts at 69, scissoring, and oral, with a couple of girls I'd also show them porn I'd looked up which was usually lesbian porn. I'd also found my fathers porn magazine stash and we would spend lots of time flipping though those. With most of the girls it would end after a while when they'd start realizing girls didn't do these things with girls and that was usually the end of the friendships too.
at 11 I started insinuating things with a friend I'd had for about a year and considering she was a year older than me, (12 big deal) she kinda felt where it was going but I think she was also into the whole dragging it out foreplay so she would go along with it, but once we got to where it would usually end with other girls, we still wanted to do more. This is how our friendship became just a normal friendship around others, sexually fascinated pre-pubescent girls trying to find the next best way to get off when alone. What I am still amazed by to this day is that no one, not even our other friends, ever found out what we would do when we where alone.
So this girl and I started discovering ourselves as in depth as we could (pun intended). We started watching porn videos more often for inspiration on what to do next. we first found cucumbers and slowly worked with each other to try and get them in without permanently hurting ourselves. long story short, It didn't work. so we started small and worked our way up. we started with putting dove soap bars up there (which is also how we started doing most of our "sessions" in the shower) then adding in the fingers until we could take each others fists. eventually we worked ourselves up to the cucumbers and to trusting them. For a while I would get on my knees while she sat with her legs open and I'd hold the cucumber between my legs and vaginal lips while trusting into her to simulate a penis I guess.. but we then figured out how to double penetrate each other with both ends of the cucumber so we would do that. We did all this in either the bath tub or anywhere we could be alone, one time we actually got to do stuff in a bed which took a while since we both had strict parents who didn't like people staying over, until the one day no one was home so we took advantage of that. we soon discovered the wonderful massage vibrator which we would take turns using a lot. I also started taking the vibrator places with me. I'd put it in my backpack and use it in changing rooms at the mall or in the stalls at school.
Eventually, she turned 13, discovered her interest in boys, and told me she was feeling ashamed for all the stuff she was doing with a girl(me). That's how that ended. We stayed friends for years after that. She would sometimes tell me about the stuff she'd do with her boyfriends but she completely blocked out everything we ever did. When we stopped being friends it was for different reasons. We never had feelings for each other at all so it was fine, but I was disappointed because I knew I probably wouldn't feel comfortable going through all that with another person again for a while.
Around this age (12-13) I started dating boys too, but I never did anything more than kiss them and I was actually considered a prude among the boys which now that I look back is super fucked up since we where after all only 12 to 13. I dated over 10 guys, longest relationship lasting 2 years over the course of 5 years since I'm now 18 going on 19. at this age I realized that my disinterest in anything more than kissing with men was probably due to my sexuality. I now only have normal sexual relationships with women though I do still consider myself pansexual and hope one day I'll be able to push myself to have experiences with men. I know this was long but I thought it was about time I let it all out.
If you have any similar stories or stories involving sexual fantasies and acts as a kid please share so I can feel a bit better about my disturbingly advanced sex life at such a young age. Also if you have any advice on how I can overcome the anxiety I have towards sexual relationships with men I would really appreciate that as well.
First one I remember was when I was 4 and a boy walked in on me using the toilet. I pretended I didn't see him watching me because honestly, I liked him watching. I even remember spreading my legs more so he could see.
Next I was 5 and a boy I thought was cute showed me his penis in class and asked if he could see my "parts". I said yes and was incredibly excited and proceeded to reach over and touch him while he did the same with me. Another student then saw so we stopped and luckily he kept quiet.
After that I remember an incident when I was 7 where there was a boy of the same age who I liked that lived next door. One day I took him into my room, laid him down behind my bed and got on top of him. We sloppily made out for a bit before I started undoing his pants and my own. I then instructed him on what to do since it was obvious he was lost. I told him to basically eat me out and placed myself on his mouth. he did, and guess just the idea of it made me enjoy myself because I doubt it was any good. My grandmother almost caught us on that one and I'm glad she did because If it hadn't been for her trying to open the locked door I probably would have lost my virginity as a 7 year old.
That was probably my last sexual experience with a boy for a while, If you have read this far I'd like to quickly apologize for all the terrible grammatical errors I've made and will be making in this post, I haven't slept in 2 days and I honestly could care less considering this is anonymous. Anyway, I realized most of my "fantasies" and dreams that involved boys where only for when I was fantasizing and didn't really interest me in real life (probably because most of them involved teenage boys like that kid who played Peter Pan in the 2003 version or Leonardo in Titanic). This was when I became extremely fascinated by women, especially girls my age because something about the innocence excited me.
Through 9 and 11 I probably played around a dozen of "truth or dare" games with girl friends which all ended in me teaching them what sex was and how it worked and felt good and how being attracted to other girls was okay. I don't remember any girl ever being hesitant to experiment, and the ones I do I also remember me stopping what I was doing completely because of the fear of a grown up finding out. But what would happen when they where interested, involved first kissing of course, then I had this way of making it into a game so it would be more exciting.
There where Levels:
1: kissing
2: kissing with tongue
3: kissing with tongue naked
4: feeling each other up while kissing with tongue naked
and so on. I'd keep going but honestly, we would drag each step out for as long as we could so we wouldn't run out of stuff to do (it was all in the foreplay I guess).
the farthest the levels would go, where usually our attempts at 69, scissoring, and oral, with a couple of girls I'd also show them porn I'd looked up which was usually lesbian porn. I'd also found my fathers porn magazine stash and we would spend lots of time flipping though those. With most of the girls it would end after a while when they'd start realizing girls didn't do these things with girls and that was usually the end of the friendships too.
at 11 I started insinuating things with a friend I'd had for about a year and considering she was a year older than me, (12 big deal) she kinda felt where it was going but I think she was also into the whole dragging it out foreplay so she would go along with it, but once we got to where it would usually end with other girls, we still wanted to do more. This is how our friendship became just a normal friendship around others, sexually fascinated pre-pubescent girls trying to find the next best way to get off when alone. What I am still amazed by to this day is that no one, not even our other friends, ever found out what we would do when we where alone.
So this girl and I started discovering ourselves as in depth as we could (pun intended). We started watching porn videos more often for inspiration on what to do next. we first found cucumbers and slowly worked with each other to try and get them in without permanently hurting ourselves. long story short, It didn't work. so we started small and worked our way up. we started with putting dove soap bars up there (which is also how we started doing most of our "sessions" in the shower) then adding in the fingers until we could take each others fists. eventually we worked ourselves up to the cucumbers and to trusting them. For a while I would get on my knees while she sat with her legs open and I'd hold the cucumber between my legs and vaginal lips while trusting into her to simulate a penis I guess.. but we then figured out how to double penetrate each other with both ends of the cucumber so we would do that. We did all this in either the bath tub or anywhere we could be alone, one time we actually got to do stuff in a bed which took a while since we both had strict parents who didn't like people staying over, until the one day no one was home so we took advantage of that. we soon discovered the wonderful massage vibrator which we would take turns using a lot. I also started taking the vibrator places with me. I'd put it in my backpack and use it in changing rooms at the mall or in the stalls at school.
Eventually, she turned 13, discovered her interest in boys, and told me she was feeling ashamed for all the stuff she was doing with a girl(me). That's how that ended. We stayed friends for years after that. She would sometimes tell me about the stuff she'd do with her boyfriends but she completely blocked out everything we ever did. When we stopped being friends it was for different reasons. We never had feelings for each other at all so it was fine, but I was disappointed because I knew I probably wouldn't feel comfortable going through all that with another person again for a while.
Around this age (12-13) I started dating boys too, but I never did anything more than kiss them and I was actually considered a prude among the boys which now that I look back is super fucked up since we where after all only 12 to 13. I dated over 10 guys, longest relationship lasting 2 years over the course of 5 years since I'm now 18 going on 19. at this age I realized that my disinterest in anything more than kissing with men was probably due to my sexuality. I now only have normal sexual relationships with women though I do still consider myself pansexual and hope one day I'll be able to push myself to have experiences with men. I know this was long but I thought it was about time I let it all out.
If you have any similar stories or stories involving sexual fantasies and acts as a kid please share so I can feel a bit better about my disturbingly advanced sex life at such a young age. Also if you have any advice on how I can overcome the anxiety I have towards sexual relationships with men I would really appreciate that as well.
- That's Juicy! 11
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