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When I Was A Kid
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Bi-Sexual Female / 31
I grew up with my family lived in East Africa. We had a houseboy who did the things maids do. One day, I was not yet 11, I caught him masturbating, he was wanking off hard, like he was trying to pull his penis off. When he saw me, I must have looked to him like something out of a story book, blond with pig tails and blue eyes, just staring at this black man pulling on his penis.
But he did not stop, he just stared at me, and invited me to come over and he held his penis out for me. He took my hand and put around his penis and he used his hand around mine to continue to wank off. He spat his stuff all over the floor.
Sometime later, I was in my mid teens we were at bible study and the talk came about not spilling his seed. I asked my mom what that meant, and when she told me, the whole thing about the house boy came back. He was spilling his seed.
It was not too much after that, that I just had to go ask him why he did that. I went and asked him point blank, why he did that when the bible told him not to. He asked me if I had told anyone, my answer was no. He said if I did not want him to spill his seed, then he could set his seed in me, and maybe it would take root and I would have a little black girl with blue eyes.
It wasn't much after that that he put his seed in me. No matter how I wiggled I could not aget away and he put his seed in me. I was old enough by then to know what all that meant, and the fight in my mind between taking his seed from him and maybe ending up with a black girl with blue eyes, filled me with fear. I prayed and prayed, but I resigned myself that if God meant for me to have a black girl with blue eyes, that is what I was supposed to do. Just as it was my duty not to let him spill his seed on the ground.
As it turned out, there was no black girl with blue eyes. And as I grew older, I found that I was just as much attracted to the lady that worked for the airline office. More attracted, she was Dutch and she liked me a lot, and I learned all about being with her.
Then there was a sermon about homosexuals. I knew what that was, and that what I was doing was homosexual. I felt guilty, but I could not stop being with my friend from the airline office.
For a long time I struggled with both of these experiences, of having that black man put his seed in me (having sex with me) and my attraction to the airline lady.
Finally, I met a man, who was much older and he liked me and he put his seed in me, and I became pregnant and in time had a blond and blue eyed girl. I was so relieved that the child was not black with blue eyes. He taugh me to be who I am, and if I liked being with the airline lady that was also ok.
I am not what you would call a lesbian, I am married to my husband, the father of my blond blue eyed daughter, and I enjoy being married to him, and I enjoy being with another girl, I always ask him for permission and he has to meet her, but when he gives me permission, I enjoy my time with her. I know it is homosexual and like the house boy, I am also throwing away my equivalent to the seed of life. But my husband has seed, and I content myself knowing that. His seed is abundant and I have decided to let it go to ground again. My sin is small, and I know that God will forgive me, I have seen many worse sins. Some time with a girl that pleases me is not too much of a sin.
But he did not stop, he just stared at me, and invited me to come over and he held his penis out for me. He took my hand and put around his penis and he used his hand around mine to continue to wank off. He spat his stuff all over the floor.
Sometime later, I was in my mid teens we were at bible study and the talk came about not spilling his seed. I asked my mom what that meant, and when she told me, the whole thing about the house boy came back. He was spilling his seed.
It was not too much after that, that I just had to go ask him why he did that. I went and asked him point blank, why he did that when the bible told him not to. He asked me if I had told anyone, my answer was no. He said if I did not want him to spill his seed, then he could set his seed in me, and maybe it would take root and I would have a little black girl with blue eyes.
It wasn't much after that that he put his seed in me. No matter how I wiggled I could not aget away and he put his seed in me. I was old enough by then to know what all that meant, and the fight in my mind between taking his seed from him and maybe ending up with a black girl with blue eyes, filled me with fear. I prayed and prayed, but I resigned myself that if God meant for me to have a black girl with blue eyes, that is what I was supposed to do. Just as it was my duty not to let him spill his seed on the ground.
As it turned out, there was no black girl with blue eyes. And as I grew older, I found that I was just as much attracted to the lady that worked for the airline office. More attracted, she was Dutch and she liked me a lot, and I learned all about being with her.
Then there was a sermon about homosexuals. I knew what that was, and that what I was doing was homosexual. I felt guilty, but I could not stop being with my friend from the airline office.
For a long time I struggled with both of these experiences, of having that black man put his seed in me (having sex with me) and my attraction to the airline lady.
Finally, I met a man, who was much older and he liked me and he put his seed in me, and I became pregnant and in time had a blond and blue eyed girl. I was so relieved that the child was not black with blue eyes. He taugh me to be who I am, and if I liked being with the airline lady that was also ok.
I am not what you would call a lesbian, I am married to my husband, the father of my blond blue eyed daughter, and I enjoy being married to him, and I enjoy being with another girl, I always ask him for permission and he has to meet her, but when he gives me permission, I enjoy my time with her. I know it is homosexual and like the house boy, I am also throwing away my equivalent to the seed of life. But my husband has seed, and I content myself knowing that. His seed is abundant and I have decided to let it go to ground again. My sin is small, and I know that God will forgive me, I have seen many worse sins. Some time with a girl that pleases me is not too much of a sin.
