I am happily married with 4 lovely children, but have a secret not even my husband knows. I am addicted to teasing myself sexually. After my 4th child was sleeping through the night, I found that I almost always have the need to feel sexual aroused. Before you think otherwise, my husband is a wonderful lover. He is able to give me very intense orgasm and we have sex almost every day, sometimes multiple times per day, but I still love the feeling of being sexually aroused.

I dare say that I am an attractive woman. I am 5' 8" tall, red hair, green eyes, very clean light complexion, 127 lbs, 38D-24-35, and I exercise 3 times a week and swim at a local health club. I started exercising and swimming after my 4th child was born. I felt I needed a little more than breastfeeding, dieting, and exercising at home to get back into shape. I became obsessed with studying myself in the mirror to find areas that I needed to work on. About the time my son was being weaned, I started to see that I really was starting to look good.

My breasts were huge from nursing, 40H nursing bra, and as I weaned my son, I noticed I was shrinking back to normal size. I have never dried up, my husband keeps playing and milking me too much to let me dry up fully. As my figure came back and my breasts shrank back to a more normal size, I began to really admire my figure, then I began noticing other women's figures. I also noticed that I was becoming quite sexually aroused, not sexually attracted to the other women. I never wanted to have sex with them, but I would become lightly sexually stimulated by seeing a well figured attractive woman. Even my own figure would stimulate me.

I enjoy the feeling of being sexually aroused, and have gone much further--not going all the way to sexual release, I am very satisfied with the release my loving husband gives me. But I love the feeling of being aroused and teasing myself to much higher levels of arousal without allowing myself sexual release. I don't know how to explain it better than that.

My day goes like this now. I wake and help get my husband ready for work and my children off to school. Afterward I take a long slow warm shower and very sensually wash myself. I dry, and then apply my moisturizer--slowly, feeling my hands glide along my bare skin and how wonderful the moisturizer makes it feel. I then spend several minutes studying myself in the mirror, cupping, caressing, and feeling the curves of my body. I watch myself in the mirror as I apply my makeup. Eyeliner, shadow, lipstick... I apply it all slowly, meticulously.

I take a few minutes to choose my lingerie, a nothing g or lace bikini, a bra that is sheer or nearly transparent, feeling the soft fabric on my skin, and almost always stockings and garter. My top is always just a little too tight, and I leave two and sometimes three button open, a skirt or sometimes a mini--I have a couple that will allow the tops of my stockings to just peek out as I walk.

After this ritual, I found I like to search for lesbian porn. I enjoy looking at it, seeing the figures of the women. The pictures have to be well done, and the women have to be fully makeuped and smartly dressed. Women portraying confidence, elegance, and beauty. I spend my day in a constant state of arousal.

When my children get home, I go into mom mode, and care for them, attend their day, and hear their stories of school and friends. I remain aroused by taking private time in the bathroom, caressing, reapplying my makeup, and thinking of the wonderful images I searched earlier and remembering the things the pictures depict.

Recently I find myself sitting in the mall, watching one of the clothing store sales people, she is a young oriental with lovely, long black hair, and athletic build. I think of the images from the internet and replace her and me for the models. There isn't any level of perversion that I have not imagined doing with her. I sit outside the clothing store, watching, imagining, and being very aroused.

I've tried going in and talking with her, and I can honestly say I am not sexually attracted to her, but I do get very aroused studying her, watching her, and replacing the models in the images with us. Sometimes when I watch her, I can actually have the sensation of my husband's cock in me and I have been very near orgasm. I have to pant to calm down and I blush intensely as embarrassment overwhelms me. This embarrassment also adds to my sexual arousal. I know at that point that I am obviously aroused. The air is full of my scent.

If my husband were there, I would do him on the floor of the mall and not care who saw me. I know that when I am like this I may be vulnerable to sexual advances, but I cannot keep myself from following my addiction to being aroused. I love the feeling and the denial of release until I am with my husband. I love being aroused all day!