When I was growing up we lived in South America. My father was with a large corporation and we lived a very nice life. We had maids, and a driver and went to private schools. I was 16 and I had no doubt about my orientation. There was another girl in school on which I had a very deep crush. She was a grade lower than me, and I could not keep my hands off of her. My hormones were rushing and I needed to hold her and kiss her, and I needed to make her mine. She was a local girl, her father owned a large factory, and she was well to do.

I made friends with her, and although she would always get away, I would pursue her and horse around with her and kiss her all over, and when I could I would trap her on the sofa or the floor and I would kiss her mouth until she allowed me to French her and then I could start to touch her. I touched everything, and I looked at everything. Once she became compliant, I was free to make love to her, undress her, undress myself and role around naked with her. One day I told her that she needed to prove to me that she was mine, and to do that we were going to kiss each other's anus. I was first and I gave her a long wet kiss with lots of tongue, when it was her turn, she did not want to do it, I gave her my behind several times, but she just wouldn't put her mouth on me.

This made me angry, I loved jamming her face into me, and I wanted her to kiss my backside. I turned her over and showed her again what I wanted, I wanted a full long kiss with lots of tongue, I wanted her to eat me out like I was eating her out. She finally gave in and kissed me with a one small fast peck of a kiss. I got angry at her and told her that she wasn't my girlfriend any more, that if she was my girl friend she would kiss and tongue me like I wanted.

Because of this we broke up, for a good while she still came over, and she let me kiss her and make love to her, but she was no longer in heat. She surrendered, but she did not participate.

My love affair with her died down, until we no longer spoke. We just stopped being friends. I went off to college, and eventually found work and I have been and out of many relationships, these are all sexual. After all these years I am still in love with her. I regret terribly my insistence of having her do something she didn't want to. She was not at all against what I did, but that was something she just could not bring herself to do.

After all these years that is my empty feeling, I so wanted her to just show me, to prove to me, but it did not happen, and I lost her for ever. I have never found any one else that gives me the feeling that she gave me. I have been told it was because we were such young lovers, still experimenting with each other, but I think she was just 'the' person. This is my regret, it haunts me, having lost her.