Bi-Sexual Female / 33
I just feel like talking about it. First some background. I thought I was primarily lesbian, except for one man, and he had sex with me when I was 29. My relationship started when a Colombian girl came to work for the company I was with. We hit it off immediately and became good work friends. At the time I sort of liked her, but wasn't sure how she felt. The main thing is that we liked hanging out together and being friends.
She was married to one of the field managers from work. He had met her on assignment in Colombia and married her and brought her to the states. He traveled a lot in his job and she was alone a lot and we started to hang out while he was away. One evening we fell asleep on the couch watching a movie, she snuggled in my arms and I just held her tight. For me this was a dream, holding her like that, snuggling her up to me and listening to her breathe. I fell asleep and we woke up when we were falling off the couch. We picked ourselves up, I kissed her on the lips and we went to sleep in the bed.
We didn't do anything, other than hug and snuggle and me kissing her a bit on the lips and face.
After that we were better friends, and given the moment we would hold hands, and when we met we always had a little kiss for each other, a real kiss not an air kiss, and sometimes we would sneak a lip kiss, with a little bit of passion. When her husband was traveling I stayed with her almost every night, and with time and comfort we came to make love, well I made love to her and she let me. She acted ashamed of what she did, but when you sleep together you get very comfortable and intimate and we made love, and we hugged and cuddled and kissed and slept together.
When her husband was home, I would either go back to my apartment, or I would sleep in the other room. One night I heard her having sex, I guess I never thought of her having sex with him, but I heard her and I got very jealous. The idea of him having sex with her was killing. But all I could do was listen while he had sex with her. It was my realization that as his wife he was going to have sex with her and put his nasty penis inside of her. At that time I had never had a penis inside of me, I just imagined now nasty it was.
As we spent more and more time together he started to treat me like a member of the house, including hugging me and touching me, he had a thing for my rear end and would take every opportunity to rub my bum, and turn me around and hug me. He also started to kiss me on the lips. So much so, that when ever he returned from a trip he expected both of us to welcome him with hugs and kisses, and the more time went by the kisses became long kisses. I grew used to it, and hugged him back. Although he kissed me not me kissing him.
She became pregnant and my jealousy got out of control. Why I believed that she should only have my baby I don't know, but that is how I felt. I felt he got her pregnant but it was me that was supposed to get her pregnant. I suffered, and she saw it and he saw it. So much so that he told me it was 'our' baby.
When she was six months, and she was getting big, he came back from a trip and after the normal hugs and kisses, I served him a drink and he pulled me down on his lap and held me until I quit trying to get loose. He told me he wanted a welcome kiss from me, to show him how much I missed him, to hug him tight and kiss him with all my might. He turned me around until I was sitting on his lap facing him, held me by my butt and squeezed me into him and demanded his kiss. So I kissed him, this was the first time ever that I kissed a man, after kissing him he demanded that I tell him I loved him. Which I did, because to tell the truth I did love him, I just didn't know how much.
He kissed me again, and said out loud that he was going to take me back to the room and get me pregnant. She just said something in Spanish, and he pulled me by the wrist into the room and had my pants off before I could say anything and he was on top of me, holding my wrists up high until he found penetration and I felt him enter me and he said some things I didn't understand, and then I heard him telling me to kiss him and take his shirt off. Without slipping out we managed to take off our shirts and he made love to me. All I could think of at the time is that is what it felt like, to be made love to. I lost any idea of time, until I felt him push himself off. It was over.
From that day on he made love to me, and he did get me pregnant and we did have 'our' babies and my relationship with her changed, we are still very much together, but we share ourselves with him. Am I jealous when he is with her, yes I am. But it is not a bad jealousy, it is just that I want to make love with her too.
I no longer consider myself lesbian, in that sense, I am very much given to being with him, both emotionally and physically. I have in fact given myself to him, when I accepted to become pregnant I went through a very difficult time, it was the first time that I had to decide to commit myself to someone, commit for life, and I committed myself to him, the commitment was at first verbal but it is no longer so, I am very much his, in body and soul. I know that I discovered love like I didn't know existed, a very deep love. I continue to have an intimate relationship with her, our lives have not changed that much, except we now live together, as he continues to travel and when he is away we are very close and we continue to make love, making love to her and letting her now how much I love her is a very big part of my life. I love her in a dimension very different from my love for him, and expressing my love to her is a big part of my life.
I am writing this because I am committed to having another child. I will give myself to him for him to make me pregnant. I can't imagine a greater commitment than that, if that is not love I don't know what is. I don't dare tell him how much I want another baby, I am supposed to be the strong one, she is the nurturing one. But right now, I want to just become a mother again. And if I listen to the whispers in my head, I would definitely do it again after that.
She was married to one of the field managers from work. He had met her on assignment in Colombia and married her and brought her to the states. He traveled a lot in his job and she was alone a lot and we started to hang out while he was away. One evening we fell asleep on the couch watching a movie, she snuggled in my arms and I just held her tight. For me this was a dream, holding her like that, snuggling her up to me and listening to her breathe. I fell asleep and we woke up when we were falling off the couch. We picked ourselves up, I kissed her on the lips and we went to sleep in the bed.
We didn't do anything, other than hug and snuggle and me kissing her a bit on the lips and face.
After that we were better friends, and given the moment we would hold hands, and when we met we always had a little kiss for each other, a real kiss not an air kiss, and sometimes we would sneak a lip kiss, with a little bit of passion. When her husband was traveling I stayed with her almost every night, and with time and comfort we came to make love, well I made love to her and she let me. She acted ashamed of what she did, but when you sleep together you get very comfortable and intimate and we made love, and we hugged and cuddled and kissed and slept together.
When her husband was home, I would either go back to my apartment, or I would sleep in the other room. One night I heard her having sex, I guess I never thought of her having sex with him, but I heard her and I got very jealous. The idea of him having sex with her was killing. But all I could do was listen while he had sex with her. It was my realization that as his wife he was going to have sex with her and put his nasty penis inside of her. At that time I had never had a penis inside of me, I just imagined now nasty it was.
As we spent more and more time together he started to treat me like a member of the house, including hugging me and touching me, he had a thing for my rear end and would take every opportunity to rub my bum, and turn me around and hug me. He also started to kiss me on the lips. So much so, that when ever he returned from a trip he expected both of us to welcome him with hugs and kisses, and the more time went by the kisses became long kisses. I grew used to it, and hugged him back. Although he kissed me not me kissing him.
She became pregnant and my jealousy got out of control. Why I believed that she should only have my baby I don't know, but that is how I felt. I felt he got her pregnant but it was me that was supposed to get her pregnant. I suffered, and she saw it and he saw it. So much so that he told me it was 'our' baby.
When she was six months, and she was getting big, he came back from a trip and after the normal hugs and kisses, I served him a drink and he pulled me down on his lap and held me until I quit trying to get loose. He told me he wanted a welcome kiss from me, to show him how much I missed him, to hug him tight and kiss him with all my might. He turned me around until I was sitting on his lap facing him, held me by my butt and squeezed me into him and demanded his kiss. So I kissed him, this was the first time ever that I kissed a man, after kissing him he demanded that I tell him I loved him. Which I did, because to tell the truth I did love him, I just didn't know how much.
He kissed me again, and said out loud that he was going to take me back to the room and get me pregnant. She just said something in Spanish, and he pulled me by the wrist into the room and had my pants off before I could say anything and he was on top of me, holding my wrists up high until he found penetration and I felt him enter me and he said some things I didn't understand, and then I heard him telling me to kiss him and take his shirt off. Without slipping out we managed to take off our shirts and he made love to me. All I could think of at the time is that is what it felt like, to be made love to. I lost any idea of time, until I felt him push himself off. It was over.
From that day on he made love to me, and he did get me pregnant and we did have 'our' babies and my relationship with her changed, we are still very much together, but we share ourselves with him. Am I jealous when he is with her, yes I am. But it is not a bad jealousy, it is just that I want to make love with her too.
I no longer consider myself lesbian, in that sense, I am very much given to being with him, both emotionally and physically. I have in fact given myself to him, when I accepted to become pregnant I went through a very difficult time, it was the first time that I had to decide to commit myself to someone, commit for life, and I committed myself to him, the commitment was at first verbal but it is no longer so, I am very much his, in body and soul. I know that I discovered love like I didn't know existed, a very deep love. I continue to have an intimate relationship with her, our lives have not changed that much, except we now live together, as he continues to travel and when he is away we are very close and we continue to make love, making love to her and letting her now how much I love her is a very big part of my life. I love her in a dimension very different from my love for him, and expressing my love to her is a big part of my life.
I am writing this because I am committed to having another child. I will give myself to him for him to make me pregnant. I can't imagine a greater commitment than that, if that is not love I don't know what is. I don't dare tell him how much I want another baby, I am supposed to be the strong one, she is the nurturing one. But right now, I want to just become a mother again. And if I listen to the whispers in my head, I would definitely do it again after that.
