Lesbian Female / 44
I will first start by telling you that I was not sure I was lesbian as a young girl. I dated boys from school and in college dated several guys. It is just that nothing happened. When I graduated from Baylor I moved to Austin because I was looking for a job. My degree in marketing was sure to get me a job, but it didn't. I wasn't connected and not knowing any better I did not use the college referral system, so I ended up taking a job as a waitress at an upper end restaurant At the restaurant I met Liz. Liz was from Laredo, Hispanic, with dark eyes, hair and brown skin. She had a radiating smile, and we got along from the very beginning.
I had rented a garage apartment, which was too small and cramped but it was all I could afford. I tried to get connected through church, and even joined a book club. But the only friend I had was Liz. One day when Liz was at my apartment, she was looking through a magazine and there was a picture of this girl modeling lingerie. She asked me if I thought she was beautiful. She had all the right curves and a pretty face, but I answered her that no, I did not think she was beautiful, she looked fake. Liz asked me what I thought was beautiful, and I told her I thought she was beautiful, in fact I thought she was the most beautiful girl I knew.
This led to some pushing back and forth and her grabbing on to me and asking me to keep telling her she was beautiful, we ended up on the floor with her sitting across my lap, and she undid her shirt and lifter her bra above her breasts and asked me if I thought her breasts were beautiful. Looking at her breasts I blushed, they were so full and her nipples so dark. I have very white breasts and smallish non-descript nipples. She leaned over and kissed me on the lips, and asked me to tell her she was beautiful. Then she leaned over and put her breast up against my face and asked me to suck her nipple and show her how much I really loved her.
My emotions were everywhere, I had never been kissed by another girl, I had never looked at another girl's breasts sexually, and I had never kissed and sucked another girl's nipples. The rush running through my body was magic, I was hot all over, while I was sucking her nipple she put both hands on my breasts. Then she pushed my face away and asked me if I had ever eaten Mexican. She told me that once I tried Mexican I would never give it up.
Liz got off of me, and pulled her pants off and stood over me, and slowly lowered herself until she sat on my face and told me to eat her. From never having been kissed, to having my mouth filled with her, I was doing things I never dreamt I would do. After a few minutes she got off, turned around and lowered herself on me again, and pushed my pants down past my knees so I could kick them off and she spread my legs and she put her mouth on me and started to eat me and finger me at the same time.
From there we moved into my room, and we spent ourselves totally naked with each other, while she kept asking me to tell her I loved her and I thought she was beautiful, and her telling me that I was her woman. We slept together for the first time. This is how I had my first full sexual encounter, how I had my first lesbian encounter, and when I first told another woman she was beautiful and that I loved her.
But we were not ready to talk about this with anyone else, at that time you did not advertise this, we were in our early twenties and although we later moved in together, we presented ourselves as roommates. After a bit of time we both got jobs in companies, jobs with benefits and better salaries and our lives improved. We shared an apartment, but kept two rooms for appearances, but slept together.
One day, out of the blue, I asked her is she wanted to have children of her own. I came from a very Christian household, and there was a lot of pressure from my parents, especially my mother, to get married and have a family. At that time, those were my full intentions, and I told Liz that morning that is what I wanted, I didn't want to end up being a childless old woman, I wanted a family with several kids. She confessed that she also had dreamt of kids growing up, but when she was in her late teens when she was sure of her orientation, she had given up on the idea. But, if she could get pregnant she would want to have a child. So we promised each other that we would find a way to have children, even if that meant that we got married to a man, we would always be there for each other. It was a sad day, because up till then we were so heady with each other, the idea of becoming wives and mothers meant we had to give up our relationship. But wives and mothers was what we knew we needed to be. We truly knew that, that is what we wanted, we were in our mid twenties, we just needed to find a man to marry and grow up.
I started to really look for a man at church, I needed him to be a Christian like me, white, with a professional job, who wanted several children, and a stay at home wife. I was going all the way, I decided I wanted at least four children, I was ready to become a wife. Liz did not look for a husband, she told me she was a lesbian, and she did not see herself being able to fake it with a man, if she got pregnant ok, but as far as she was concerned she was just going to stay my girlfriend forever, even if I was married.
She was the maid of honor at my wedding. She was there when my first child was born. She stayed with me when my husband traveled. She was there with me for my second child, and my third, and my fourth. She was there when I had my fifth child. I had said I wanted a large Christian family, and I wanted to be a stay at home mom, and that is what I did. I was the perfect Christian wife, except that I had this lesbian relationship with Liz. No matter how pregnant I was, no matter how married I was, my lesbian relationship with Liz did not end. As a matter of fact, it got stronger and deeper, the more time passed the more I loved her. She was my life partner, after five kids, I stood up at the mirror and told myself that I was a lesbian and Liz was my life.
I confessed to my husband, he is the first person I ever used the word Lesbian with about me. I said to him, 'I am a lesbian'. It was hard to try to do, but once I said it and it wasn't a secret any more I just sat there and apologized to him, I told him I had tried to be a good wife, and thought I was a good wife, I was a good mother, and even if I was a lesbian my vows to him held, I would be his wife, if he would accept me and accept that I was lesbian.
For the sake of the children we agreed to stay married, to continue to be husband and wife. And work things out with Liz. I mean Liz was my closest friend, she was my heartfelt love of my life, she was everything, I would agree to stay married and continue to be a wife, but I would not give up my relationship with Liz.
By then we were 36, and Liz still had no children of her own. So, not knowing the answer, I asked my husband to please get Liz pregnant, so I loaned Liz to him, they went to my bedroom, I went to the kitchen and sat at the table and waited for Liz to come out and tell me that she was on the way to becoming pregnant. Liz was no different than her sisters, she got pregnant quickly and we received her daughter into our life. Two years later she brought another daughter home.
Today we are in our mid forties, mothers, wives to each other, me a wife to my husband. Without my husband's support, I would be an emotional wreck. He offered for me to have another child while Liz was pregnant with her second, but we though better not, six kids was a lot and by then my youngest was heading off to school. We attend the Baptist Church, and my oldest is getting ready to go to Baylor when she finishes high school. Liz is my 'dear friend' and we are model Christian couple, my husband and I teach bible class to young married couples. We live in a beautiful suburb. When I escape with Liz we go after each other like we did back in those days of the apartment. She was right when she told me that once you had Mexican you would never give it up.
I had rented a garage apartment, which was too small and cramped but it was all I could afford. I tried to get connected through church, and even joined a book club. But the only friend I had was Liz. One day when Liz was at my apartment, she was looking through a magazine and there was a picture of this girl modeling lingerie. She asked me if I thought she was beautiful. She had all the right curves and a pretty face, but I answered her that no, I did not think she was beautiful, she looked fake. Liz asked me what I thought was beautiful, and I told her I thought she was beautiful, in fact I thought she was the most beautiful girl I knew.
This led to some pushing back and forth and her grabbing on to me and asking me to keep telling her she was beautiful, we ended up on the floor with her sitting across my lap, and she undid her shirt and lifter her bra above her breasts and asked me if I thought her breasts were beautiful. Looking at her breasts I blushed, they were so full and her nipples so dark. I have very white breasts and smallish non-descript nipples. She leaned over and kissed me on the lips, and asked me to tell her she was beautiful. Then she leaned over and put her breast up against my face and asked me to suck her nipple and show her how much I really loved her.
My emotions were everywhere, I had never been kissed by another girl, I had never looked at another girl's breasts sexually, and I had never kissed and sucked another girl's nipples. The rush running through my body was magic, I was hot all over, while I was sucking her nipple she put both hands on my breasts. Then she pushed my face away and asked me if I had ever eaten Mexican. She told me that once I tried Mexican I would never give it up.
Liz got off of me, and pulled her pants off and stood over me, and slowly lowered herself until she sat on my face and told me to eat her. From never having been kissed, to having my mouth filled with her, I was doing things I never dreamt I would do. After a few minutes she got off, turned around and lowered herself on me again, and pushed my pants down past my knees so I could kick them off and she spread my legs and she put her mouth on me and started to eat me and finger me at the same time.
From there we moved into my room, and we spent ourselves totally naked with each other, while she kept asking me to tell her I loved her and I thought she was beautiful, and her telling me that I was her woman. We slept together for the first time. This is how I had my first full sexual encounter, how I had my first lesbian encounter, and when I first told another woman she was beautiful and that I loved her.
But we were not ready to talk about this with anyone else, at that time you did not advertise this, we were in our early twenties and although we later moved in together, we presented ourselves as roommates. After a bit of time we both got jobs in companies, jobs with benefits and better salaries and our lives improved. We shared an apartment, but kept two rooms for appearances, but slept together.
One day, out of the blue, I asked her is she wanted to have children of her own. I came from a very Christian household, and there was a lot of pressure from my parents, especially my mother, to get married and have a family. At that time, those were my full intentions, and I told Liz that morning that is what I wanted, I didn't want to end up being a childless old woman, I wanted a family with several kids. She confessed that she also had dreamt of kids growing up, but when she was in her late teens when she was sure of her orientation, she had given up on the idea. But, if she could get pregnant she would want to have a child. So we promised each other that we would find a way to have children, even if that meant that we got married to a man, we would always be there for each other. It was a sad day, because up till then we were so heady with each other, the idea of becoming wives and mothers meant we had to give up our relationship. But wives and mothers was what we knew we needed to be. We truly knew that, that is what we wanted, we were in our mid twenties, we just needed to find a man to marry and grow up.
I started to really look for a man at church, I needed him to be a Christian like me, white, with a professional job, who wanted several children, and a stay at home wife. I was going all the way, I decided I wanted at least four children, I was ready to become a wife. Liz did not look for a husband, she told me she was a lesbian, and she did not see herself being able to fake it with a man, if she got pregnant ok, but as far as she was concerned she was just going to stay my girlfriend forever, even if I was married.
She was the maid of honor at my wedding. She was there when my first child was born. She stayed with me when my husband traveled. She was there with me for my second child, and my third, and my fourth. She was there when I had my fifth child. I had said I wanted a large Christian family, and I wanted to be a stay at home mom, and that is what I did. I was the perfect Christian wife, except that I had this lesbian relationship with Liz. No matter how pregnant I was, no matter how married I was, my lesbian relationship with Liz did not end. As a matter of fact, it got stronger and deeper, the more time passed the more I loved her. She was my life partner, after five kids, I stood up at the mirror and told myself that I was a lesbian and Liz was my life.
I confessed to my husband, he is the first person I ever used the word Lesbian with about me. I said to him, 'I am a lesbian'. It was hard to try to do, but once I said it and it wasn't a secret any more I just sat there and apologized to him, I told him I had tried to be a good wife, and thought I was a good wife, I was a good mother, and even if I was a lesbian my vows to him held, I would be his wife, if he would accept me and accept that I was lesbian.
For the sake of the children we agreed to stay married, to continue to be husband and wife. And work things out with Liz. I mean Liz was my closest friend, she was my heartfelt love of my life, she was everything, I would agree to stay married and continue to be a wife, but I would not give up my relationship with Liz.
By then we were 36, and Liz still had no children of her own. So, not knowing the answer, I asked my husband to please get Liz pregnant, so I loaned Liz to him, they went to my bedroom, I went to the kitchen and sat at the table and waited for Liz to come out and tell me that she was on the way to becoming pregnant. Liz was no different than her sisters, she got pregnant quickly and we received her daughter into our life. Two years later she brought another daughter home.
Today we are in our mid forties, mothers, wives to each other, me a wife to my husband. Without my husband's support, I would be an emotional wreck. He offered for me to have another child while Liz was pregnant with her second, but we though better not, six kids was a lot and by then my youngest was heading off to school. We attend the Baptist Church, and my oldest is getting ready to go to Baylor when she finishes high school. Liz is my 'dear friend' and we are model Christian couple, my husband and I teach bible class to young married couples. We live in a beautiful suburb. When I escape with Liz we go after each other like we did back in those days of the apartment. She was right when she told me that once you had Mexican you would never give it up.
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