I'm not sure if other women feel the way I do about seeing men nearly or completely naked. I even enjoyed seeing my husband naked and since we broke up 9 years ago I have dated 5 different men since then. My current boyfriend I enjoy seeing naked and know he enjoys the ways I pleasure him by playing with his genitals. He even allows me to shave his pubic hair a few times a month and I not only masturbate him but also give him oral sex regularly. I go to the beach often and I totally enjoy just watching the young guys, many of which arouses me only by looking at their bodies, wishing they were nude. I only see my boyfriend 2 or 3 times a week and find myself watching porn on the internet showing men masturbating as I myself masturbate. Its just something I enjoy and as strange as it sounds I have dreams about seeing guys naked and being able to touch, fondle and control them to the point of even humiliating them. I have felt this way for many years never expecting to be in a situation that could arouse and fulfill my fantasies. It was almost a year ago that the oppurtunity came. My cousin Margie has an adopted son that has been a complete nightmare for her. He got involved with drugs in his early teens ending up in juvinile detention and numerous rehab clinics. He was hooked on herion but also did most every drug there is at one time or another. When he was only 17 he had a stroke from whatever drug he overdosed and has been incapacitated ever since. To complicate matters Margies husband left her to deal with Jake by herself. He is handicapped and although alert mentally can't speak well and is particially paralized on the left side of his body. Margie was in a tight spot with her job and asked if I could care for him two weekends each month since she had to go to Jacksonville on business. I agreed to do it and Margie had me come to her house to show me how to care for him. Even though Jake is handicapped he is a very good looking guy and is 19 now. Margie wrote a list of foods he liked but also when to bathe him and how to help him use the bathroom. Then she took me to his room and as soon as she began undressing him for his shower he was so embarrassed with me being there he began to cry. I did feel bad for him but I have to admit it aroused me seeing him naked especially when Margie sat him down in the chair which was inside the shower. She then proceeded to wash him head to foot making him stand at different times to wash between his legs. She just kept telling him not to be embarrassed because I would be taking care of him every other Saturday and Sunday.

The first Saturday I was there had to be horribly humiliating for him not only by washing him but also when I took him to use the toilet and had to pull his pajamas down even when he only had to sit and pee. We did talk but most of the time he has trouble expressing himself. Right away I enjoyed washing him and seeing him so exposed to me in the shower. Margie had the shower enlarged when he first came home from the hospital and it has the chair but also 2 handrails for him to hold when he is standing. First his back is to me and I wash his back, legs, butt and anal area then he turns to the other handrail facing me. Thats when he is most embarrassed as I wash between his legs and he always gets an erection which I think humiliates him even more. I asked him several times if he gets aroused when Margie washes him and he always just shakes his head no. Now I know how awful this sounds but I get aroused seeing him naked and touching his penis and testicals. Even when he is sitting in the chair while I wash his hair and feet I am aroused just seeing him exposed to me and enjoy drying him with the towel. When I wash him I use a wash rag but also often touch his penis and testicals with my hand which immediately gets me wet. As soon as I dress him and get him back to his room I shower and usually masturbate right away. I never tell Margie how he gets erections all the time and am certain Jake doesn't tell her either. I go there on the Saturdays around 8am and am there til Sunday when Magies gets home around 5pm. He spends most of the time using a laptop or watching tv and I sometimes play games with him. He has a few friends that usually visit him on Saturday nights so other than that all I do is prepare meals and snacks for him. I look forward to the weekends I am there and don't know how to explain how excited I am as soon as I undress him for his shower. I masturbate at least once everyday I am there and am so aroused after I wash him I orgasm numerous times. He often has an erection before I wash the front of him and I think when I am washing his anus and touching his testicals from the rear it excites him. When he grabs the other handrail and turns facing me he has an erection and he is blushing at the same time. I only smile shaking my head and hope he doesn't realize how much I enjoy washing a full erection. I do sense he gets pleasure from it but it is so obvious that he is also embarrassed as I wash his penis and scrotum. I never saw him mastubating but think he does because he always keeps a towel and hand lotion nearby. I also saw him with porn on his laptop a few times when he didn't hear me come up the stairs and would close it right away. As much as I feel sorry for his condition I can't help the feelings I get just by seeing him naked. Touching his genitals is absolutely arousing to me and I continue masturbating with the thoughts of it.