Straight Female / 30
WHen does r**e stop being r**e?
I was r**ed on my paper route one night. I didn't tell the police or anyone. Don't judge me for that --- paper carriers are independent contractors, not employees of the paper they deliver so they are instantly fired if they fail to complete their routes. I thought about calling the next day, but it seemed a bit pointless by then. Besides, I was confused, because I had gotten aroused during the r**e.
I had gotten out of my van to walk up to an apartment building. My vehicle was parked at the far end of the lot because all the residents were parked up close. Of course it was dark. And of course my routine is the same every day so I guess someone had been watching all along.
I was standing at the back of the van, moving papers around, when something pushed me hard from behind. Next thing I know, I'm being shoved into the cargo part of the van and someone is climbing in with me with his hand over my mouth. He pushed me face first onto the floor and told me that I was to keep quiet and do as he said. "I'm not fucking playing."
What could I do? I didn't try to stop him, but I didn't try to help him either. He got my pants down and unzipped his. Then he kneed my legs open and began to r**e me. I just laid there and let him do it. All the while he was saying that women are whores and have just one use. He told me that I shouldn't be out working at night unless I wanted to be treated like the whore that I was. He seemed to get off on the things he was saying, getting more and more excited, and fucking me harder and harder. Finally he pulled out and I think that he might have cum into my panties because he took them with him. The last thing he said was that he hoped that I had learned a lesson about a woman's place, and then left.
As I said, I was afraid of being fired. So I put my jeans on and finished my route. And never told anyone what had happened, but I certainly thought about it every time I had to deliver to that building. I was embarrassed because I had gotten wet during the r**e and ashamed for having actually gotten aroused. I've read since that woman's body is just programmed to respond to sexual penetration and that it's normal, but I still felt weird about it.
Well, a few months later I met him again in the same parking lot. This time I saw him coming, rushing out from behind the building. I had pepper spray with me this time that I could have used but didn't. I just stood there and watched him come. It took second for him to reach me --- he had a ski mask so I couldn't see his face. He put his hand on my throat and pushed me into the back of the van. Calling me a whore for asking for it and saying he was going to give me the pounding I deserved.
Maybe I did deserve it. I had no intention of fighting. I let him pull off my jeans and laid there stupidly while he unzipped his own. He told me to spread my legs and I obeyed, letting him do it all over again, one hand on my throat. He was talkative again, calling me all the things that I now knew that I was. A disgusting whore. A c**t. A piece of meat. Again my body reacted with pleasure. I could feel how wet I was. He pulled out before he finished and came all over my face, which is no more humiliation than I deserved.
It may have begun as r**e, but ended in consent. And the loss of my self respect now that I know what a whore I am now. He doesn't sneak up or threaten anymore. When I see him waiting --- now without the mask --- I back the van around behind the building where the bushes are and we have sex. He likes it rough. I guess I do too because I keep going back. I hope I get to see him tonight.
I was r**ed on my paper route one night. I didn't tell the police or anyone. Don't judge me for that --- paper carriers are independent contractors, not employees of the paper they deliver so they are instantly fired if they fail to complete their routes. I thought about calling the next day, but it seemed a bit pointless by then. Besides, I was confused, because I had gotten aroused during the r**e.
I had gotten out of my van to walk up to an apartment building. My vehicle was parked at the far end of the lot because all the residents were parked up close. Of course it was dark. And of course my routine is the same every day so I guess someone had been watching all along.
I was standing at the back of the van, moving papers around, when something pushed me hard from behind. Next thing I know, I'm being shoved into the cargo part of the van and someone is climbing in with me with his hand over my mouth. He pushed me face first onto the floor and told me that I was to keep quiet and do as he said. "I'm not fucking playing."
What could I do? I didn't try to stop him, but I didn't try to help him either. He got my pants down and unzipped his. Then he kneed my legs open and began to r**e me. I just laid there and let him do it. All the while he was saying that women are whores and have just one use. He told me that I shouldn't be out working at night unless I wanted to be treated like the whore that I was. He seemed to get off on the things he was saying, getting more and more excited, and fucking me harder and harder. Finally he pulled out and I think that he might have cum into my panties because he took them with him. The last thing he said was that he hoped that I had learned a lesson about a woman's place, and then left.
As I said, I was afraid of being fired. So I put my jeans on and finished my route. And never told anyone what had happened, but I certainly thought about it every time I had to deliver to that building. I was embarrassed because I had gotten wet during the r**e and ashamed for having actually gotten aroused. I've read since that woman's body is just programmed to respond to sexual penetration and that it's normal, but I still felt weird about it.
Well, a few months later I met him again in the same parking lot. This time I saw him coming, rushing out from behind the building. I had pepper spray with me this time that I could have used but didn't. I just stood there and watched him come. It took second for him to reach me --- he had a ski mask so I couldn't see his face. He put his hand on my throat and pushed me into the back of the van. Calling me a whore for asking for it and saying he was going to give me the pounding I deserved.
Maybe I did deserve it. I had no intention of fighting. I let him pull off my jeans and laid there stupidly while he unzipped his own. He told me to spread my legs and I obeyed, letting him do it all over again, one hand on my throat. He was talkative again, calling me all the things that I now knew that I was. A disgusting whore. A c**t. A piece of meat. Again my body reacted with pleasure. I could feel how wet I was. He pulled out before he finished and came all over my face, which is no more humiliation than I deserved.
It may have begun as r**e, but ended in consent. And the loss of my self respect now that I know what a whore I am now. He doesn't sneak up or threaten anymore. When I see him waiting --- now without the mask --- I back the van around behind the building where the bushes are and we have sex. He likes it rough. I guess I do too because I keep going back. I hope I get to see him tonight.
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