Gay Male / 18
I am gay. But I also have felt that inside I am a girl. When I am with a guy I imagine what it would be like to be a girl and for him to fuck me in my pussy and get pregnant. I have always been feminine in looks and I suppose effeminate. I have made a lot of effort to hide all of the above, from friends and especially family. My parents sent me to extremely religious Christian schools where at least 25% of every school day was spent on the knees praying. Half of all the classes were religious in nature. Instead of taking algebra I took "God's mathematical creations" Instead of taking biology I took "how god created life" Instead of taking literature I took a course entitled "bible literature" From kindergarten on we learned all our reading and English from the bible. The ONLY thing we read from K-12 was the bible. Our school only just barely got it's accreditation but few of our graduates get accepted into regular colleges. Most of the guys go onto bible colleges to learn to become preachers. Most of the girls go onto marry preachers. That is the school's mission, train future preachers and their wives.
We went to church three times a week. Church services lasted two hours on Tuesday and Friday and four hours on Sunday. Church attendance is mandatory. Tithing at 20% is also mandatory and that is 20% of each person's gross income. We are required to wear very dressy clothes to church as well. I own three three-piece suits and rotate them for church only. My Dad has five three piece suits that he rotates. My Mom and sisters wear ankle length dresses that cover from throat to wrist to ankle. The guys must all have very short hair since guys who have long hair are the devil's spawn. Women are required to have long hair since women who have short hair are the devil's spawn. Girls who have jobs outside the home are devil's spawn. Guys who don't pay the proper tithe are the devil's spawn. Oh and lets not forget that anyone who fits in the category of LGBT are the devil's spawn. Pretty much anyone who does not conform to their extremely narrow, bigoted vision of a saint is the devil's spawn.
Fire, brimstone, burning lakes of fire, eternal damnation, screams of agony from the deepest depths of the pits of hell awaits all who are less than perfect in all ways.
Dad is ex military. He recently retired as an E-8 in the army. He was a drill instructor for years. Mom is Suzy homemaker worshipping the ground Dad walks on. Dad leads us in prayer every morning, at dinner and at bed time. On days when we did not attend service Dad hold's bible study. About half of the sermons at our church and about half of the bible study sessions are on the topic of why god hates faggots or something similar. No we don't belong to that church that protests military funerals. My Dad after all is ex military. But he feels just as strongly about LGBTs. Mom's opinion on any topic is exactly what my Dad tells her it is. Every prayer my Dad leads, without exception includes thanking god for guiding his children to not to choose to be deviants, fags, lesbians etc. Frequently the prayers he leads includes thanking god for creating aids to punish the devil's spawn.
OK so as you can see, I have grown up in about the most bigoted, sexually repressed, homophobic environment and yet somehow I did not go insane discovering my sexuality. The only problem is by necessity I have had to remain deep in the closet. My parents, all four grandparents and all my aunts, uncles and cousins are all from the same hyper religious way of thinking. I would bet most 18 year old gay males have not memorized the entire King James bible but I have had to, it was a high school graduation requirement. All seniors must take a six hour final exam. One hour of English (based on the bible) one hour of math and four hours of bible verses. The entire bible exam consisted of either being asked to write out the entire chapter specified or reading a chapter and identifying which verse, chapter, book it came from. They tried to trip us up by having as questions "which is the correct verse?" and then have ten different almost identical verses with one word misspelled or the wrong punctuation in each one but the correct one. Or "true or false, the book of job has 2742 words?" Or, identify and write out in complete form all verses in the bible that prove that choosing to be homosexual is an unforgiveable sin for which the prescribed punishment is burning in a lake of fire for eternity (the standard punishment for all sins). You get the idea. There was zero tolerance for being different or thinking incorrectly.
So the day after I graduated from the Christ the Savior Holy Academy for True Believers Amen, I came out to my Mom, Dad, older sister, younger sister and younger brother. Mom dropped to her knees and started praying. Dad got up, walked out to the garage, came back with a baseball bat and swung at my face while asking the lord to give him strength to smite the demon spawn who replaced his son. I woke up in a hospital where I met for the first time in my life someone who was not a member of our church. My father had beaten me with the baseball bat and dragged me out to the street, called his pastor who along with a gang of other church members took me to the road outside our community and simply dropped me there in the gravel and locked the gate leaving me for dead. A good Samaritan drove by a few minutes later and took me to the hospital.
That was last summer. I have had no contact with my family since. It took most of that time for my attorney to convince a court to force my Dad to turn over my savings account which had $2000 in it when I graduated but when they turned it over there was only $10 in the account. It took a little while longer to freeze my Dad's account and force him to actually turn over the $2000 he stole. The only reason that worked was because I was over 18 when they kicked me out. At the trial my dad brought twenty witnesses who claim they saw me attempt to r**e my younger brother and that I was a maniac and that my dad was only trying to defend my little brother. But since there was no evidence to support that claim he lost and ended up being convicted of attempted 2nd degree murder. He was sentenced to probation and is not allowed to come within 100 feet of me. So much for justice. I never got any of my belongings that were in my room. I have no photos or documents, memorabilia not that I had much, it was all religious crap.
So that is my coming out story. I have a nice life now. I met the love of my life in the hospital, he is a doctor at the hospital where I stayed. I am growing my hair out and now present as female. Being short and slender helps. My boyfriend is going to help me get surgery though I am honoring his request to keep my penis and testicles intact as he likes to play with those. Small price to pay for happiness. We are going to get married in June. I am happy with my new life, friends and new family. Fuck the people who provided me with my DNA. They can all go jump in their lake of fire for all I care.
We went to church three times a week. Church services lasted two hours on Tuesday and Friday and four hours on Sunday. Church attendance is mandatory. Tithing at 20% is also mandatory and that is 20% of each person's gross income. We are required to wear very dressy clothes to church as well. I own three three-piece suits and rotate them for church only. My Dad has five three piece suits that he rotates. My Mom and sisters wear ankle length dresses that cover from throat to wrist to ankle. The guys must all have very short hair since guys who have long hair are the devil's spawn. Women are required to have long hair since women who have short hair are the devil's spawn. Girls who have jobs outside the home are devil's spawn. Guys who don't pay the proper tithe are the devil's spawn. Oh and lets not forget that anyone who fits in the category of LGBT are the devil's spawn. Pretty much anyone who does not conform to their extremely narrow, bigoted vision of a saint is the devil's spawn.
Fire, brimstone, burning lakes of fire, eternal damnation, screams of agony from the deepest depths of the pits of hell awaits all who are less than perfect in all ways.
Dad is ex military. He recently retired as an E-8 in the army. He was a drill instructor for years. Mom is Suzy homemaker worshipping the ground Dad walks on. Dad leads us in prayer every morning, at dinner and at bed time. On days when we did not attend service Dad hold's bible study. About half of the sermons at our church and about half of the bible study sessions are on the topic of why god hates faggots or something similar. No we don't belong to that church that protests military funerals. My Dad after all is ex military. But he feels just as strongly about LGBTs. Mom's opinion on any topic is exactly what my Dad tells her it is. Every prayer my Dad leads, without exception includes thanking god for guiding his children to not to choose to be deviants, fags, lesbians etc. Frequently the prayers he leads includes thanking god for creating aids to punish the devil's spawn.
OK so as you can see, I have grown up in about the most bigoted, sexually repressed, homophobic environment and yet somehow I did not go insane discovering my sexuality. The only problem is by necessity I have had to remain deep in the closet. My parents, all four grandparents and all my aunts, uncles and cousins are all from the same hyper religious way of thinking. I would bet most 18 year old gay males have not memorized the entire King James bible but I have had to, it was a high school graduation requirement. All seniors must take a six hour final exam. One hour of English (based on the bible) one hour of math and four hours of bible verses. The entire bible exam consisted of either being asked to write out the entire chapter specified or reading a chapter and identifying which verse, chapter, book it came from. They tried to trip us up by having as questions "which is the correct verse?" and then have ten different almost identical verses with one word misspelled or the wrong punctuation in each one but the correct one. Or "true or false, the book of job has 2742 words?" Or, identify and write out in complete form all verses in the bible that prove that choosing to be homosexual is an unforgiveable sin for which the prescribed punishment is burning in a lake of fire for eternity (the standard punishment for all sins). You get the idea. There was zero tolerance for being different or thinking incorrectly.
So the day after I graduated from the Christ the Savior Holy Academy for True Believers Amen, I came out to my Mom, Dad, older sister, younger sister and younger brother. Mom dropped to her knees and started praying. Dad got up, walked out to the garage, came back with a baseball bat and swung at my face while asking the lord to give him strength to smite the demon spawn who replaced his son. I woke up in a hospital where I met for the first time in my life someone who was not a member of our church. My father had beaten me with the baseball bat and dragged me out to the street, called his pastor who along with a gang of other church members took me to the road outside our community and simply dropped me there in the gravel and locked the gate leaving me for dead. A good Samaritan drove by a few minutes later and took me to the hospital.
That was last summer. I have had no contact with my family since. It took most of that time for my attorney to convince a court to force my Dad to turn over my savings account which had $2000 in it when I graduated but when they turned it over there was only $10 in the account. It took a little while longer to freeze my Dad's account and force him to actually turn over the $2000 he stole. The only reason that worked was because I was over 18 when they kicked me out. At the trial my dad brought twenty witnesses who claim they saw me attempt to r**e my younger brother and that I was a maniac and that my dad was only trying to defend my little brother. But since there was no evidence to support that claim he lost and ended up being convicted of attempted 2nd degree murder. He was sentenced to probation and is not allowed to come within 100 feet of me. So much for justice. I never got any of my belongings that were in my room. I have no photos or documents, memorabilia not that I had much, it was all religious crap.
So that is my coming out story. I have a nice life now. I met the love of my life in the hospital, he is a doctor at the hospital where I stayed. I am growing my hair out and now present as female. Being short and slender helps. My boyfriend is going to help me get surgery though I am honoring his request to keep my penis and testicles intact as he likes to play with those. Small price to pay for happiness. We are going to get married in June. I am happy with my new life, friends and new family. Fuck the people who provided me with my DNA. They can all go jump in their lake of fire for all I care.
