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Gay Stories
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Gay Male / 47
I cannot explain it...
I recently experienced the most profound event of my life, which has left me dumbfounded and in awe!
Background to better understand the gravity of what I have experienced and my need to share it with someone: I'm a very masculine, professional, gay man who knows the pain, agony and hardships of being exposed as a gay man in a community and time when being gay was likened to being a leper. I was a prayer answered, late-life only child to my loving parents. When I was in my second year at a local college one of the guys I had been in a closet affair with decided to come out to his parents and he exposed me in the process. It was an extremely challenging situation complicated by Bible-Belt religion in a very conservative town. One of the boys I grew up with (a few years older than me) was married with 3 kids and a newly elected Elder in our church. When he heard I was gay, the very next Sunday morning before Morning Worship he stood and "brought formal denominational charges against me" classifying me and evil and demanded a "Called Conference" for my public humiliation and dis-fellowship from that congregation. My parents were humiliated, walking out of that church and never returning. They remained friends with some in the church where they were members and had attend since they were dating teenagers. Many of those members never spoke to my parents again because the dared to stand with me.
My dad had a nephew in the Navy stationed on the west coast who he called and asked to meet me at the bus station and help me find a car and an apartment, which he did. I missed one semester during my relocation while my distant cousin helped me get settled before he was discharged and relocated back east. I worked hard, graduated college, found a more accepting environment and made lots of friends. I missed my patents and we visited each other as often as possible.
I went back for 2 weeks when mom suffered a serious stroke. It was a long process of therapy, rehabilitation and a difficult time for her, dad and me being 2,000 miles away. I used every day I could to go home to be with she and dad and considered relocating back, but they told me to never move back. A couple of years after moms' stroked I was home for a week when one of her friends from the "old church" passed and she wanted to attend the funeral. I took mom to the funeral home for the service. The chapel was packed but seeing mom was disabled in leg braces and with a walker, the mortician found us a 2 seats half way to the front. He ushered us up the aisle and I went into the pew first so mom could folk her walker and put it in the aisle. I never looked to see who I was sitting beside as I was looking out for mom. We had just settled in when the man to my left leaned over me and told my mom, "Ya gonna have to move to let me out. I will not sit beside a faggot"...and he didn't whisper. I'm gay, to the shock of some people, as I am very masculine with a baritone voice. That man was the very same man who brought charges against me at my home church. Mom was inconvenienced, we were both humiliated, including the man's wife who followed him out apologizing to me and mom.
My passed away a few years later and dad was left alone. He came to stay with me during the cold winters and we were back and forth the other 6 months. I lost my dad 12 years ago and have not been back to my home town since I closed his estate over 11 years ago. I have one older cousin who relocated to Florida and I lost contact with her 7 years ago.
I have never experienced issues with sleep; seldom wake during the night and when I do, I am back to sleep fast and my partner of 27 years sleeps like a log. Last Saturday morning I woke up at 4:05 AM and was not able to go back to sleep. So at 4:30 I went into the kitchen made some coffee and turned on the TV. A strange feeling had overcome me since I woke; like something was wrong. I wasn't able to focus on the TV so I walked outside with the dogs for some fresh air but that dread felling of anxiety was intensifying. After I brought the dogs back in I decided to turn on the computer as I read several national newspapers which I read on line every day. I scanned the local paper first and then, for some strange reason, I typed in the name of the newspaper of my home town. Thinking my subconscious was telling me maybe my last cousin may have passed. I immediately found and opened the tab for Obituaries. Sure enough there was the obituary of one of my mom and dad's old friends who passed in her 90's. I had not seen or heard from her since dad passed. As I read her obituary that feeling was still knawing at me. I closed out the obits returning to read the papers home page. I noticed an article regarding a new company moving into the area, so I opened the article. When the page came up it was not the article for the new company but was the "arrest report" for the pervious day. My cursor has mistakenly moved to the arrest record which was just below the article I wanted to read and I was staring at 10 names when one name jumped out at my like a Red Light flashing. Not sure the home address on the man arrested some 7 hours prior, I did a yellow/white page look up for the same name and those addresses were the addresses listed on the arrest record of the very same 63 year old man... who had brought charges against me at church for being a queer, and the same man who had humiliated my mom, me and others at the funeral home. At 63 years of age, that married, father, grandfather, well known business owner, pillar of the community, Deacon and leader of the church was arrested for "Prostitution: "soliciting sex from a male under officer in a public park bathroom" during a sting.
I cannot explain and neither do I understand why I woke with that feeling. Why I looked at my home town newspapers web site when I have not been there in 11 years. The glitch regarding accidently opening the local "arrest records" for that town where I have limited knowledge of people who live there, and no motivation to search arrest records. I've never held any ill will toward that man forgiving his ignorance, lack of understanding and had not thought about him since I was home 11 years ago. My heart goes out to him, his wife, children, grandchildren and that church. My mom taught me to forgive those who transgress against me; not to hold a grudge for they would be measured by the same measure which they use against others. My dad always told me. "water seeks its own level". I am still in awe has to how this was brought to my attention so far away and so soon after it happened...knowing there is no one in that town who knows how to contact me, or would even contact me regarding any issue... much less this man's arrest for prostitution.
Thank you for allowing me to share my most amazing, awesome experience.
I recently experienced the most profound event of my life, which has left me dumbfounded and in awe!
Background to better understand the gravity of what I have experienced and my need to share it with someone: I'm a very masculine, professional, gay man who knows the pain, agony and hardships of being exposed as a gay man in a community and time when being gay was likened to being a leper. I was a prayer answered, late-life only child to my loving parents. When I was in my second year at a local college one of the guys I had been in a closet affair with decided to come out to his parents and he exposed me in the process. It was an extremely challenging situation complicated by Bible-Belt religion in a very conservative town. One of the boys I grew up with (a few years older than me) was married with 3 kids and a newly elected Elder in our church. When he heard I was gay, the very next Sunday morning before Morning Worship he stood and "brought formal denominational charges against me" classifying me and evil and demanded a "Called Conference" for my public humiliation and dis-fellowship from that congregation. My parents were humiliated, walking out of that church and never returning. They remained friends with some in the church where they were members and had attend since they were dating teenagers. Many of those members never spoke to my parents again because the dared to stand with me.
My dad had a nephew in the Navy stationed on the west coast who he called and asked to meet me at the bus station and help me find a car and an apartment, which he did. I missed one semester during my relocation while my distant cousin helped me get settled before he was discharged and relocated back east. I worked hard, graduated college, found a more accepting environment and made lots of friends. I missed my patents and we visited each other as often as possible.
I went back for 2 weeks when mom suffered a serious stroke. It was a long process of therapy, rehabilitation and a difficult time for her, dad and me being 2,000 miles away. I used every day I could to go home to be with she and dad and considered relocating back, but they told me to never move back. A couple of years after moms' stroked I was home for a week when one of her friends from the "old church" passed and she wanted to attend the funeral. I took mom to the funeral home for the service. The chapel was packed but seeing mom was disabled in leg braces and with a walker, the mortician found us a 2 seats half way to the front. He ushered us up the aisle and I went into the pew first so mom could folk her walker and put it in the aisle. I never looked to see who I was sitting beside as I was looking out for mom. We had just settled in when the man to my left leaned over me and told my mom, "Ya gonna have to move to let me out. I will not sit beside a faggot"...and he didn't whisper. I'm gay, to the shock of some people, as I am very masculine with a baritone voice. That man was the very same man who brought charges against me at my home church. Mom was inconvenienced, we were both humiliated, including the man's wife who followed him out apologizing to me and mom.
My passed away a few years later and dad was left alone. He came to stay with me during the cold winters and we were back and forth the other 6 months. I lost my dad 12 years ago and have not been back to my home town since I closed his estate over 11 years ago. I have one older cousin who relocated to Florida and I lost contact with her 7 years ago.
I have never experienced issues with sleep; seldom wake during the night and when I do, I am back to sleep fast and my partner of 27 years sleeps like a log. Last Saturday morning I woke up at 4:05 AM and was not able to go back to sleep. So at 4:30 I went into the kitchen made some coffee and turned on the TV. A strange feeling had overcome me since I woke; like something was wrong. I wasn't able to focus on the TV so I walked outside with the dogs for some fresh air but that dread felling of anxiety was intensifying. After I brought the dogs back in I decided to turn on the computer as I read several national newspapers which I read on line every day. I scanned the local paper first and then, for some strange reason, I typed in the name of the newspaper of my home town. Thinking my subconscious was telling me maybe my last cousin may have passed. I immediately found and opened the tab for Obituaries. Sure enough there was the obituary of one of my mom and dad's old friends who passed in her 90's. I had not seen or heard from her since dad passed. As I read her obituary that feeling was still knawing at me. I closed out the obits returning to read the papers home page. I noticed an article regarding a new company moving into the area, so I opened the article. When the page came up it was not the article for the new company but was the "arrest report" for the pervious day. My cursor has mistakenly moved to the arrest record which was just below the article I wanted to read and I was staring at 10 names when one name jumped out at my like a Red Light flashing. Not sure the home address on the man arrested some 7 hours prior, I did a yellow/white page look up for the same name and those addresses were the addresses listed on the arrest record of the very same 63 year old man... who had brought charges against me at church for being a queer, and the same man who had humiliated my mom, me and others at the funeral home. At 63 years of age, that married, father, grandfather, well known business owner, pillar of the community, Deacon and leader of the church was arrested for "Prostitution: "soliciting sex from a male under officer in a public park bathroom" during a sting.
I cannot explain and neither do I understand why I woke with that feeling. Why I looked at my home town newspapers web site when I have not been there in 11 years. The glitch regarding accidently opening the local "arrest records" for that town where I have limited knowledge of people who live there, and no motivation to search arrest records. I've never held any ill will toward that man forgiving his ignorance, lack of understanding and had not thought about him since I was home 11 years ago. My heart goes out to him, his wife, children, grandchildren and that church. My mom taught me to forgive those who transgress against me; not to hold a grudge for they would be measured by the same measure which they use against others. My dad always told me. "water seeks its own level". I am still in awe has to how this was brought to my attention so far away and so soon after it happened...knowing there is no one in that town who knows how to contact me, or would even contact me regarding any issue... much less this man's arrest for prostitution.
Thank you for allowing me to share my most amazing, awesome experience.
