This is something I have never openly admitted to, for fear of judgment, criticism, and because I know most people simply are not open minded to consider anything remotely "different". I've spent time searching for somewhere to confess anonymously, so I guess here goes. I know most people are "typical" and traditional, and "normal" when it comes to sex. But I've seen some posts on here, and have read some things that are a bit taboo and off the wall, so I thought I would just put this here. I guess it's up to you to judge, insult or say what you will. But it's something I have no regrets of. I don't deny enjoying it, with the times it happened, and quite honestly, I'm not going to ever ask for forgiveness. It was between two mutual consenting people, and that's all there is to it. But for the first time, I am admitting this in public. I have told just two people in my entire life, and that's it.

I am married. I have raised my step daughter since she was 6. We were very close, always hanging out, spending time together, and hanging out with her friends. This started when she was younger, and it continued on as she grew older. If you are getting uncomfortable, you may want to stop reading now, because this is quite blunt and forward. When my step daughter was 13, I caught her watching my wife and I having sex. I never said anything to my wife. I was curious as to what my step daughter saw in this, and why she was interested to even watch, considering it was her mom. Her response was "I don't know. I guess I just wanted to see what it was like. I'd never done anything like that, and I wasn't sure how people did stuff. I'd watched some porn with some friends, but it always looked fake"

She told me she couldn't talk to her mom about it, aside of after her periods started, she convinced her mom to put her on birth control. She said some friends moms recommended it for cramps, and to stop the pain and problems. And she told me her mom gave her a lot of crap for it, and really didn't want to do it. She kept mentioning being safe, and "this isn't something you want to do because your friends are doing sexual things, or you want to experiment doing things a girl your age shouldn't, right?" She said her mom was such a prude, she never felt comfortable talking to her.

We sat there the first night talking alone, after her mom went to work, for almost 3 hours. It was the longest we'd really ever had a serious conversation. I even asked her questions. I'm sure you may think this is inappropriate, but I was curious. I'd never had someone watch me have sex. She didn't know how to ask things, so I told her to ask what she knew. She asked how it felt. She asked what the girl felt like. She kept asking me questions, and I answered them. At the end of the night, she said thanks, gave me a hug, and went into the other room and went to bed.

We continued to hang out with friends, we went out with her girlfriends, socialized, and even did family stuff. I never really questioned her about her personal things, never inquired or pushed about sex, but over time, I suspected she'd continued watching, because I caught her giving me looks as I walked through the house. I never really paid attention to it, until she was 16. This is when things escalated one night, and I should have probably stopped it, but I didn't. I guess because at that time, things with her mom and I had cooled off significantly. We weren't doing a lot physically, our sex life had dried up, and I realized her mom had turned quite prudish. She really didn't like sex, she would go through the motions, and although I knew I could get her off and do what she needed, basically I felt like it was all for me. She'd give in when I'd push. But my sex drive then, and even now, was crazy. It has not slowed down as I've gotten older.

One night, I saw my step daughter sitting in the hall quietly. She was watching her mom and I do things in our bedroom. I don't know why I did it, but that night, I was turned on more than ever, and I put more effort into it, and really got worked up doing things. I never said a word to her mom. She still doesn't know, and has never known about it. That's why I am even leery of posting here. I guess curious if anyone else has ever had these thoughts or even let it cross their mind, considering it's not a blood relative thing. It is taboo, yes, I realize that, but it didn't stop the sexual tension.

About two weeks later, I was in the house alone, and I walked upstairs to my room. I walked down the hall, and happened to glance into the room, and I was speechless. I stopped in my tracks. I'd never seen her even remotely close to being undressed, but my step daughter was standing in her room, in a black bra and a pair of slinky underwear. Mind you, she's not "hot" or "holy shit" sexual or anything. Just very good looking. Long hair past her shoulders. Medium sized boobs, and a nice round little butt. I couldn't help but look. She caught me looking, and smirked and said sarcastically "you dirty perv. What are you looking at?" I stuttered, and she started laughing, and said "I'm just kidding. Damn dude, don't flip out" so I just laughed and went into the bedroom. I'm embarrassed to admit, but I was turned on, and really hard. I'd never even given anything like that thought until seeing her in that state.

I was in my bedroom changing, and put on a pair of shorts and a t shirt. I came out, and she was still in her room. I knocked on the door, and she said "it's open" so I walked in. She was sitting on her bed, in her bra and underwear. I know now, she'd done it on purpose. I said stuttering "uh yeah, uh, I had a question, but I'll let you get dressed". She laughed and she got up. Brushed against me, and said "don't worry about it." and closed the door. I was shocked, and scared. I looked at her and said "what are you doing?" and she looked at me. She didn't say anything, but was really quiet. I was staring at her bra and underwear. I felt my dick get hard. And she looked down, and saw it. I couldn't stop. I really felt dirty and taboo and kind of gross. But she said to me "This is really weird" and then she kissed me. Without another word. Kissed me hard. I felt her push against me, and I know. I should have said no. But I didn't. We started kissing. And about 3 or 4 minutes later, I felt my dick thrusting against my shorts. She was standing there, and God help me, she undid her bra, and it fell on the floor. I remembered looking at her round firm little nipples, and her soft teenage boobs. She reached down and pulled my shorts off. I had underwear on. And she pulled on them. I backed off. She just said "hey. Don't get weird. This took me a lot to do" and I said "Katie. We can't do this. Really" and she stopped. She looked at me and said with disappointment "Is it me? You don't like me?" I just laughed and said "God. It's not that. But I've raised you since you were a kid. I more than like you" and she said "Fine. Then show me. I saw what you did with mom. So why don't you show me? I promise. I won't tell anyone. Really. I know you'd get in trouble. I don't want that. But I don't know. I guess I just you know, wanna see if it's like any good or something" I came right out and asked "have you ever had sex?" and she told me yeah. I was shocked. I said "you did" and she said "yeah. About 6 months ago. With one guy. It was lousy. I mean, talking to my friends, it was lousy. Like we did some little stuff, and you know, he did it. It was over real quick. He said sorry, he usually lasts a lot longer" I said "was it a boyfriend?" and she said no. It a guy friend. So I asked how old he was. She said he was 18. I don't know. I didn't want to know more, so I didn't ask anymore.

She was standing in front of me, and I don't know why I did it. I said "are you really serious?" and she said yes. She watched me and her mom. She'd watched like a dozen times, and wanted to do stuff, but was afraid I'd tell her mom (I laughed and told her no way I'd even mention that), and that I'd say no. I couldn't help it.

I looked at her boobs. Her nipples were beautiful. I'm not kidding. Her boobs were small and round and firm. Her moms are big, lopsided and just kind of gross. I know it sounds gross and dirty, but I can't help it. It's just the truth. When she was standing there, I felt really dirty, but I said to her "would you take off your underpants?" and she said "well uh sure" and took them off. I felt myself get hard. I couldn't control it. She had an amazing little patch of dark pussy hair between her legs. Honest to God, it was fucking incredible.

She pointed and said "uh for you not wanting to do anything, well yeah" and I just pulled down my pants. My dick stood straight out, and it was rock hard. She just put her hand over her mouth, and went "oh God" I just looked and said "what?" and she said "uh. It's like really big." I just kind of laughed.

It was really awkward. We ended up sitting naked on her bed, and I didn't know how to do it. I really had no clue, because I'd never been with a girl younger like that. Talking, she moved against me, I felt her boobs push against my arm and side, and I kissed her. It started going from there. We were making out, I had my tongue in her mouth, and I slid against her on her bed. She was laying there naked, her plump thighs spread out, and I just did it. I slid across the top of her, and started kissing her little nipples. I started sucking, and running my hands all over her body. I couldn't stop touching her. I'd never done anything so taboo. I finally got my hands down between her legs, and pushed her thighs apart, and pushed my fingers up against her pussy hair. I felt her gasp. I stopped. She said "no. that felt really nice. please don't stop" so I didn't. I started touching between her legs, and felt it getting wet. It started covering my fingers, and looking at her lying on her back, I pushed my fingers up inside her. I heard her gasp and she said "oh geez. that's like oh wow" and she laid there. I kept touching and going. And it took me probably about 5 minutes, but I made her orgasm. She started shaking. She was gasping. And she was really moving around, making little noise, and panting.

When I stopped, she laid there. Then sat up, and looked at me and said "that was like really amazing. I've never had anyone do anything like that. Wow. That was just like really great" I just laughed and said "well I think great is a good thing". She was all red in the face, and said to me "can I ask you a really wierd question?" I said sure. And she said "well, um, I've seen porn." I said OK. And she said "well, I've just like never done anything like this. The one time I did stuff, it was like pretty straight, we kissed, took our clothes off, and yeah, just you know" I said sure. And she said "well, um, would you do oral sex on me?" I looked at her and said "oral sex? As in like go down there?" and she kind of giggled and said "well uh yeah, like eat me out you know?" I felt my cock spring. It just like bounced. She saw me, and laughed and said "Uh, I think you got a bit excited" I started laughing. I said yeah.

She was laying on the bed, and I said OK. When I pushed her legs apart, I just did it. I pushed my tongue against her, and she shoved her pussy into my face. She laid back and said "Sorry" I couldn't stop. I probably spent 20 minutes licking her little teenage pussy. I couldn't stop. I really couldn't. I kept going. I made her orgasm at least 3 times. When I was done, she laid there, and was gasping and panting really hard.

I just stopped and laid on the bed. And she looked at me. And said "well this isn't gonna be normal, but um yeah well, Emily and I you know, hang out a lot. And over the last couple of months, well, we've uh yeah, gotten tons of condoms." I was looking at her, and said "why?" and she says "well uh, Emily has slept with a couple different guys, and well, she won't keep them in her house. Mom won't go through my shit. But like her mom goes through her stuff, so she was afraid that she'd get busted" I just started laughing and said OK. Well, Katie looked at me and said "well uh I've got like a hundred or something my drawer" I was laughing hysterically, thinking about a whole drawer, and said "what if YOUR mom found them?" she laughed and said "well she'd probably shit. But I figure it was worth the risk, and I hid them underneath my underwear". I was sitting on the bed, when she got up off the bed and walked over to the dresser.

I was scared shitless even though we'd just done what we had, with me fingering her and doing oral sex on her, and getting her off. But I walked up behind her, and I had my arms around her, touching her boobs, and rubbing her nipples. My dick got hard against her little around ass, and I started kissing on Katie's neck. I heard her gasp, and she moaned. I got really worked up, and started shaking. I'd never done anything like this. I'd been with younger girls when I was in my early 20's, but not like this. I knew there were risks, but we'd talked, joked, and I didn't think she'd say anything. I guess I took it on faith what she said, and her comment that she'd never want to see me get busted.

I was kissing on her, and I had my hands around her, and rubbing her stomach, and her boobs. I kept touching her nipples. She turned around, and was naked up against me. My dick pushed against her, and she said "I'm on the pill, so um yeah, well uh, you know, we don't have to" and I said "yeah, well that's probably not a good idea. I don't know. I mean, I really want to without, but I don't want to take a risk or have something really bad happen by accident". She just looked at me and nodded. When I looked down, she had a condom package in her hand. I was standing there, and my body was shaking. She looked at me and said "are you OK?" I just said yeah, and shrugged.

She stepped back, and said "what?" I said "Your my step daughter. I don't know. God, I really want you. You're fucking incredible looking. Everything about your body gets me so damn excited, I can't stop. But I just guess if someone found out" and she interrupted me. She said "I know you and mom don't do shit. I've seen it. You guys go through the motions. I'm not telling anyone. I think you're good looking. You're funny. I know my friends talk about doing stuff with you. But nobody ever has ever tried. I bet if you really wanted to, you could sleep with at least 3 or 4 of my friends" I stopped and said "really?" and she laughed and said "but you shouldn't do that" and we both laughed. I said "and why's that?" and she just looked at me, and said "well, because you dork, you should sleep with me"

My heart almost stopped. Honest to God. I'd never heard someone say it like she did. And I know. Say what you will. But I didn't want to stop. We ended up laying on the bed. I was on my knees. I took the condom package, and tore it open. I was watching her, and saw her watching me. My hands were shaking, as i put it on. My dick was so hard, I couldn't control it. And I felt really stupid but said "I just wanna make sure you know, um, yeah, this is really different, so I hope I'm not you know, done quick or something" and she said to me "why? do you?" I said "No. Not normally, but God Katie, this is just well different". and she just kind of giggled and said "well I know it's different for me. I'm looking at my step dad naked on my bed. It's really kind of kinky" I kind of laughed.

She laid back on her back on the bed. I saw her move her legs apart. I was going to do it, and I stopped. She was laying there, and all I could do was keep looking at her little square of dark pussy hair between her legs. I was so turned on, I couldn't stop. I spread her legs with my fingers, and she laid there. I went between her legs, and started licking her again. She started gasping, and she was panting. I felt myself grow harder. I kept going, and started touching between her legs. It took a couple of minutes, and I felt her orgasm. Her whole body started shaking. And she was panting and gasping really hard, until she stopped quivering. She was laying there, and had her eyes closed. I got between her legs, and I didn't say anything. I just stared at her pussy hair, and looked at the condom on me, and I pushed myself inside her. She gasped really loud, and I heard her go "oh geez" and I pushed harder. She didn't say anything. Just kept making noise. It took me a couple of minutes, going really slow, but I got it as far inside her as I could. It was so tight I could barely move. I was so afraid I was going to come. I stopped, and kind of laid on her.

I was scared. I'd never done anything taboo or dirty like this before. But I was laying on her, and moved back a bit. She reached up and kissed me. I looked at her and said "what's going to happen tomorrow? When we have to walk around the house near each other? Try to hide this from your mom?" and she said "If you're OK with it, I am. I mean, it'll be wierd, but I don't know. I guess well, you know, we'll see" I pushed. She looked at me and said "I never thought you'd really do it" and I shrugged and said "when i saw you in your underwear and bra, I couldn't stop myself. I feel kind of dirty and weird, but I don't know. I like you. I mean, more than I should, because you're like my kid and all, but I mean, really. I like you". She just smiled and said "well, good, cuz I like you too. Like a lot like you"

I started moving slowly, and was looking at her. I heard her say "I saw you and mom doing this stuff. That's why I wanted to know. I guess I wasn't sure if you liked me. I know, like people don't do this kind of stuff, but i don't know, just something about you." and I kissed her. Hard. I started kissing on her small mouth, and I put my tongue inside her mouth. I was touching her neck, and rubbing her small puffy boobs. I felt myself growing bigger inside the condom. I stopped, and said to her "I can if you want, you know" and she just kind of giggled and said "you're gonna do it huh?" I just kinda laughed and said well "uh yeah" and I pushed slower. When I got farther inside her, I started pushing and pulling. And about a minute later, I gasped really loud, and I remember saying "oh my god Katie. Oh jesus." I came so incredibly hard. She was laying there on her back, and I was inside her. I kept going. I don't remember ever being so worked up, and shaking so hard as I came. It had never happened like that.

When I finished, I kind of fell on top of her, and moved sideways. We were laying there for a couple of minutes. She didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I looked at her and said "well um, uh, how was that? I mean like ok?" she laughed. I looked at her and said "what?" and she laughed. She said "dude, you like did oral sex on me. Twice. You got me to go off. More than once. Like you fingered me. And got me to go off. More than once. And I mean, like you just came. Right? So I think it was really good. Don't you?" I just laughed and said yeah.

I moved off, and pulled out. She looked down, and said "ok, this is like really weird, but can I see?" I looked and said "see what?" and she shrugged and said "Well, like the one time I did it before, he was like done, got up and went right into the bathroom. Did whatever he did, and when he came out, he was already almost dressed. So yeah" I just said "well uh sure"

I stood up, and reached down and took it off, and she looked and went "holy crap. Like you filled it" I just laughed and said "yeah" She got really serious and said "I wanna do it more. Like another time. Would you?" I said "you mean, like this?" and she said "no, like do more stuff. like spend more time doing it. When we aren't in a rush, or like I'm not scared of you doing it, or you're not scared or freaking out" I looked at her and said "you liked it that much?" she looked at me and said "yeah. I like you that much. I don't know. it's gross weird, different or something. cuz I'm not that old, and you are. But you made me feel really good. ANd uh yeah. I liked it"

That was the first time. I've never openly written such a story like this, or shared the intimate details with anyone like this. The age where I'm at, yes, it's legal. I was interested in her when she was younger, but I was scared and I would never take a risk like that, because I know it would be ugly, and I know most people think it's all abuse and shit like that. But no. It was mutual, and we talked for a long long time before anything happened.

I know others talk about this stuff but I often wonder how much of it was a lie, or fantasy. I don't regret it. After it happened, I noticed that she'd take more risks. Almost flirt with me out in the open. Joke with me about dirty things we'd never really talked about.

I guess you are free to comment about it as you'd like, ignore it, or get nasty. Whatever. I just really wanted to open up and talk about it. Honestly, this was the first time I'd ever done anything with someone significantly younger, and it's not the last time either. I can't help myself. It's just a taboo turn on, and I don't pressure or push anyone. It's just mutual. But it's the most emotionally and physically erotic thing I've done with girls.