This is something I have always wanted to share. It might come across as gross to some of you, or it might come across as weird and a bit messed up. But when I was a kid, I lost my virginity to my sister when I was 14. She was 12. Neither of us really knew what we were doing, except we had talked about stuff, and things we heard our friends talk about. She was the first girl I literally had sex with. I knew nothing about sex. Neither did she.

My cousin had spent the weekend with us the weekend before. He was the same age as me. And I remember him knowing a lot of about sex. He was 13, a year younger than me, and I remember him saying stuff like "well, you know, if you're 14, you've got pre cum and sperm and stuff, and you can get a girl pregnant" I didn't even know what the hell that meant. I grew up in a small town, and to my knowledge, nobody did that stuff.

Well, I used to masturbate. A lot. I did it in the shower mostly, and a couple of times, actually got caught by my dad. He never said anything. My folks literally never gave us the sex talk. We knew nothing. I remember hearing my cousin talk about that stuff, and I remember not knowing what it all meant. I tried talking to my older brother about it, and I remember him telling me "look it up in books".

My sex ed lessons came from reading my dad's playboy magazines, and honestly, reading backs of tampon boxes. I was playing office with my sister one night (that was what we did in the evenings when we were at home) in my bedroom in the basement, and i said something to her about tampons. And I said "well, i heard mom talk about having periods and babies and stuff. have you had any of that?" and she said "no. i haven't had a period. i don't use tampons or nothing like that. why? I just said "I don't know, remember when Chuckie was talking about that last weekend and stuff" and she just said "yeah. I didn't know what it meant"

I told her the pictures I saw in one of my dad's hustler magazines, and she said "you want to see if you can sneak up and find it?" I said sure. I went upstairs, and told my dad i had to use the bathroom (we had two in the house, but said there was no toilet paper in the regular floor bathroom). I went upstairs, and was up there a bit, pretending to use the bathroom.

I hid the magazines in my shirt and came downstairs. It was later at night, and I pulled them out. I remember my sister and I sitting there on my bunk bed, and talking about it. Looking at pictures, and back then, hustler had stuff with guys and girls having sex. I didn't know what any of that was. But I remember my sister saying to me "well that looks kind of weird. but I don't know, like you wanna try it?" I just said well OK.

No one told us about that stuff. We didn't know. I remember sitting there and saying "do you wanna try to do it like they do in the magazines" and she said sure. We got undressed, and made sure to put something in front of my door. I'd like never seen girls boobs in person. Just in magazines. She took off her pajama shirt and she took off her pajama bottoms. I took off my tshirt and I took off my shorts and my underwear.

She looked at me and I remember her saying "well that isn't going to work, like the person in here, you know, his thing is really big". I told her what I do at night, and in the shower. And she kind of grossed out and said "you do that? like what's it like?" I said honest? "It's really cool. I mean, it makes you feel really good. Your whole body tingles. You start getting really weird and all like numb and stuff" and she says to me "what happens?" I said "well uh, um, like out of my weener, you know, it shoots stuff. it's like all white and sticky. it shoots really far away actually. it's kind of weird to look at, but pretty neat when it happens". and she says to me "so does that mean if I touched myself, I'd shoot sticky stuff too?" I laughed and said no. I said "well, I asked Mike (our brother) and he said with a laugh "nah dude, they don't shoot stuff, they just get all wet and sticky down there between their legs. that's how guys do it to them". She just said "oh. ok. so like I should touch myself there or something?" I said well sure. And she said "how are we gonna do it like they are in the book? do you like touch yourself to get it big like that?" I said yes.

She was sitting on my bed without clothes on, and I was sitting there with nothing on too, and touching myself down there. I started getting bigger. She was touching herself between her legs. A couple of minutes later, I heard her say "oh wow. it's like um, really wet. i mean, like it's all watery and sticky and stuff down there. What's that mean?"

I remember saying "well, looking in the magazine and stuff, and seeing what they are doing, and hearing what Mike said I think this is when like we do it". She says "well ok"

She was on her back on my bed, and I remember getting on my knees. And I said "I gotta like be able to you know, put my thing in you down there". She looked up and said "but it's like big. Will it fit?" I said "I don't know. Let me try"

I started to push it in her. And I heard her say "oh. that hurts. that's like ow. that hurts". I stopped and said "well, uh, Mike said it had to be like really sticky. so I guess like if you touch yourself some more or maybe I touch you down there or something?"

She said "well uh, ok, you can touch me down there I guess if you want. I'll lay back and let you do it for a long time if you want". Touching her down there, I remember seeing it all shiny and getting wet. Nobody told us anything about sex. WE didn't know shit. All I knew was, I had a weener that wasn't really that big, and it felt good when I made it squirt. And I know that i was looking at a naked girl laying there, even if it was my little sister.

I got her all wet down there, and I said "Ok. I'm going to see if it works this time" and I pushed up against her. I heard her go "oh. ow. that's not so bad. but it's still hurting a little bit. maybe if you go real slow". so I did.

I remember pushing it up against her. and when i kept going, i looked down, and I saw it was all gone. I just said "well uh, jenny, it's like you know all the way in there. so that means I think we're done". and she says "well uh no, i know that when i was reading the magazine, and the story,, the guy in the story says that he has to, like shoot his stuff in the girl". I said "you mean like when I touch myself? I'm supposed to do that in you down there?" she said "uh yes, I think so"

She was laying on her back, and she said "I think from what the story says, you're supposed to like go in and out or something, or push and pull until it does whatever it's supposed to". I remember her laying on her back, and he pushing in her, and pulling out, like three times.

All of the sudden, I remember telling her "oh jenny, it's starting to oh geez. it's like squiring, and my whole weener is tingling and my body is like weird. oh wow" i just felt it shooting and shooting. and it finally stopped.

I didn't know what to do. I just kind of stayed there, and I heard her say "I think we're all done now. you did everything, right?" I said well uh yeah. And she goes Ok. Well, you can like get up and stuff.

I remember her getting up, and touching down there and going "danny, it's like all your sticky mess. i have to wipe it up or something". She got her underpants on and her shirt and clothes, and went upstairs to the bathroom.

Funny thing is, years later, I remember thinking about it, going "holy shit, nobody told us a fucking thing. And here I didn't use protection, she wasn't that old, but she could have technically gotten pregnant. And all I know was I just came inside my little sister, and we fucked for the first time.

I don't know. Considering she's about 250 pounds now, and she's in her mid 30's, it's a wierd thing. She brought it up years ago, and told me how she had to lie to all of her friends, that she lost it to another guy, because it's not like she could explain her brother fucked her when she was 12.

Sometimes I just wonder if my life has always been fucking weird.