I've always maintained that every decade of our life we are a different person than the previous decade or the next decade. My gay and very special decade was in my 30's. Prior to that and after that I lived my life as a very heterosexual man.
I suppose like most guys, straight or gay, I had homosexual fantasies in my teens. I even came close a couple of times acting on those fantasies, but I always chickened out. Like most guys I was terrified of being found out. You have to realize this was back in the late 60's and early 70's. Being gay or even just having a gay experience wasn't nearly as acceptable as it is now. Especially in the family and town I grew up in.
In my early 20's I got married to a woman with a child. Within a year we had a child together. With two children and a wife I was to busy making a living to even consider any outside sexual activity, let alone gay activity. Then after being married for a few years my wife decided she wanted to subscribe to Playgirl magazine. I think it was in retaliation to me having a subscription to Playboy. I think she was disappointed when she realized I wasn't troubled by it at all. Well of course I would check it each month. It didn't take long for me to start fantasizing again. Next thing I know I'm masturbating to the naked men in the magazine whenever I was home alone. After that every time I would look at a heterosexual man's magazine that had pictures of a man and woman having sex, I'd find myself checking out the guy as much as the woman. If he was an exceptionally nice looking man I fixated on him more than the female. I'd catch myself saying things like "no wonder she looks pleased, look at the body on that guy and the mouth watering cock he's got. I'd be pleased to if I was her." I knew then that if the opportunity ever presented itself, I'd have to suck a cock. Just to get the desire out of my system at the very least.
As luck would have it she left me for another man. I found myself for the first time in many years looking for an apartment. As the situation was a financial nightmare for me I couldn't afford much. I found an affordable place in an up and coming neighborhood near the beach. As with many up and coming neighborhoods it was heavily populated with gay men. When I realized this and learned I was just a block away from a very popular cruising spot, my desire to experience cock went into overdrive.
I built up the courage to start visiting some of the pick up areas near my place. The first night out I gave myself a short time limit and I would not make the first move. He had to approach me. It took all of about 5 minutes before some guy about 10 years my senior approached me. He was going to have me suck his dick right there. Being my first time I was still extremely terrified of being caught. I took him back to my place. As awkward as I was at it, I'm sure it wasn't all that good for him. Neither one of us got off. He was there all of about 45 minutes and he left.
Non of that mattered. What really mattered was I mustered up enough courage to suck my first dick. It was not going to be my last.
I found myself going out two or three nights a week. I was hit on and brought home at least one guy a week. The more guys I sucked the more I liked it and the more I wanted. I got good enough at it that I made them cum almost every time. Most of them were older guys so it was a problem sometimes. It seems the younger guys were all in the clubs and I wasn't brave enough for that. I was just fine in the closet thank you. I think it being a secret from my family and friends helped to fuel my desire.
Things really changed one night. I went out to the closest cruising spot to my house. It was not one of the more fruitful spots, but I think I wasn't horny so much as just lonely that night. Because of that I didn't really care if anything happened or not. On the way back home after nothing happening, I was just steps from my apartment building. Just them a very tall,slim and handsome black man approached me. He asked me if I had been to the beach. I told him yes. He asked if there was any action down there. I told him non that I noticed. With that he told that was to bad because he sure could use a drink. I knew what that meant. I invited him in for a drink.
Once inside he asked if I minded if he took his clothes off. I told him I was hoping he would. I had not considered sex with a black man let alone seen one naked, other than the high school showers that is. But this was the first time I had the opportunity to admire a black man at my leisure.
Like I said he was a tall man. About 6'3". I'm only 5'10". First he removed his shirt. He was lean yet built. Like a swimmer, but stronger looking. Absolutely had the abs to go with the build. He was gorgeous. I felt the desire building in me just looking at him with his shirt off. He removed his shoes. He had not worn socks. As he rose to remove his pants I found myself hoping the stereotype would be true. I was not disappointed. When he had pulled his pants down far enough a huge still semi-flacid 8" cock sprang out. He stepped out of his pants and started stroking his cock. As it grew I removed my clothes and walked over to him. He was so much taller than me I could only look up at him. It was as if he over powered me. It made me feel meek and vulnerable. I liked it though. It excited me. For the first time I felt that I may be in control of how this goes. I decided all I could do was let myself go and see what happens.
I was right. He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me to my knees. He lifted his now very hard 9" cock up to reveal the underside of his balls. He told me to lick them. Then he told me he was going to teach how to treat a black man's cock. There was something about being told what to do for him that flipped some sort of switch in me. I later called it my feminine switch. As I licked his balls and inhaled the aroma of his man crotch my nipples got rock hard. Although I had never let a man fuck me, I actually felt my asshole begin to twitch. I had never felt these sensations with any other man. Sure I had enjoyed sucking their cocks, but I wanted so much more with this man. I wasn't sure what yet. I just know I wanted to please this guy. It was no longer about what I enjoyed, but what he wanted.
As the night went on he had me do things I never thought I would do. He made me lick his asshole and then his armpits. I volunteerly ran my tongue over the rest of his body. Particularly enjoying his chest, abs and stomach just above his crotch.
As I began my slide down to his cock, which at this point I was graving like I had never craved a cock before, he stopped me and lifted me to him. As he pulled me up along his lean body it felt magical. Nothing had made me want sex more than that feeling. That is until he did what he did next. He pulled me to his face and with glazed over eyes he looked me right in the eyes and said, "baby I want you so bad" and started kissing me. Now I had never kissed a man before so I was surprise at my reaction. As he french kissed me deeply I responded in kind. I felt my sexual desire ignite. I actually felt my body get warmer. He must have felt it to, because as soon as he stopped kissing me he pushed me to his crotch and stuck his dick my mouth and proceeded to fuck it like it was a pussy. It was to big to take the whole thing so I let it go in as far as I could take. He just kept fucking my mouth. Suddenly he grabbed the back of my head, held it in place and gave two maybe three big thrusts. On the last thrust he just held his cock in place and unloaded. The whole time he was cumming he kept calling me baby. I loved that for some reason.
His load was so much I had to let most of it run out of my mouth and all over the carpet. After we rested for a little while, he asked if there was anything I wanted from him. I told him I'd like him to be the first man to have my ass.
He did not hesitate. He turned me over and lubed me up and fingered my ass until he thought I was ready. He asked me if I was sure about this. I told him when he was calling me baby all I could think of was having him make me his bitch.
Yes I was sure. Well it was to much to take the first time out. After we stopped I did my girl thing. I laid in his arms with my head on his chest. I told him this is probably as close to feeling like a woman as I'll ever get. He looked down at me and told me if I willing to see him again, he would help with that. I told there was no way I wasn't going to see him again.
That night being the first of many to come and with the proper training I was eventually not only able to take all 9 inches he had to offer, but kept my self ready for him anytime he wanted it. He wanted it often. I was a happy man and I went out of my way to keep him happy. I was completely under his spell. Although I told him I might be in love with him I wanted to keep our little love affair a secret. He said he would. He did however take me to some of the gay interracial parties. It was obvious at these parties that the black guys were to doms and the white guys the subs. The black doms seemed to be pretty proud about showing off their white trophies. I fit in perfectly. I figured we were all there for the same reasons.If I did see someone I knew, what could they say.
My time as his "woman" lasted a couple of years before circumstances brought it to an end. Even though I have returned to my life as a heterosexual male many years since, I freely admit that was the most sexually exciting and satisfying time of my life.
As a closing side note. The first night I was with him and I had to let his cum fall onto the carpet, I never cleaned it up so it stained. It was always a thrill for me when my straight friends came by and would comment on the stain. I would just smile and tell them that happened one night when someone spent the night.