Two weeks ago, I slept with my step dad. I should feel really bad about it, but my mom treats him like shit. She's never really that friendly, and a lot of stuff has gone on for a long time, but I've heard him say he's stayed for me and my little sister, because we have a good life, and he likes being around us. My sister is his, and he's been with us since I was a kid, and my dad ran out. He's really cool. Seriously. I'd never done anything with a guy his age until a couple of weeks ago. I'd had sex with a couple of guys in my high school, and one guy that was from another school. Just really lame. They sucked. It wasn't fun. So I don't know why I was able to do it, but lord, he was really good. He treated me nice, and was so friendly, even kissed me really nice when it was done, and said that he felt really good, and he was glad that we did, and he had no regrets. He said he was scared, but I'm not gonna say anything.

He's upstairs sleeping now, and I guess I should feel like shit, but I don't. About 2 hours ago, he came home from being out doing stuff, and he was sitting on the couch near me. I was sitting there and rubbing his shoulders, and told him I'd give him a massage. I don't know, I guess you can think I'm nasty or something, for fooling around with him or an older guy, but whatever. I wanted to do something and I like him. A lot. Probably more than I should.

We were laying there, and he had his back against my boobs. I started getting turned on, and I don't know why, but I just started kissing his neck, and I reached up and started biting on his ear. He moaned and turned around and said "God you really need to stop doing that. I'm your step dad, and well yeah, it's just not really right" I just looked at him and said "well that didn't stop you from sleeping with me two weeks ago". His face got all red, and he said "well I don't regret it. But I know it shouldn't have happened. Come on. We really can't do this. If someone found out, or something happened..." and I just said "well it didn't. So that's all" and I was kind of mad. He wasn't being nice, and I felt like shit for the way he was.

I got up, and he moved really quick and came up against me, and said "I'm sorry. It's been just a bad day. Your mom and all that, and I felt guilty. I mean, you're just a kid. I shouldn't do stuff like I have, because well, I don't know" I just looked at him and said "what if I wanted to? And I want to again? And I liked it? And I like you? And I don't mind. And I thought about it all teh time. And I hoped you'd thought about it too. And I hoped you liked me too?"

He looked at me and said "God. I like you. More than I should. But I'm in my 40's. Married to your mom and shit" and I just said "so? I like you. So what's wrong? You're not my real dad, no offense, and I don't know, I mean, we're just two people. I can't like you?"

We were standing there, and he reached down without a word and took off my shirt, and then pulled off my pajama bottoms and moved me out of them. He took off his shirt, and then unbuttoned his pajama bottoms, and took them off. I looked down, and he was hard. He just started kissing me, and didn't say anything. I kept going, and it started happening.

It didn't take long, and we ended up on the living room floor. He was kissing me, and touching me, and got me all turned on. I was on my back, and he just put himself inside me. He was moving really slow. Started kissing me. I got all worked up, and turned on, and he just looked at me and said "I like you more than like you. I have for a long time. It shouldn't be that way. But you're so good to me, and I can't help it. I'm attracted to you, and it feels gross, because you're like my own kid, but God, I can't help it. I thought about you all the time, and haven't stopped since we did stuff a few weeks ago. You made me feel so good, and I really liked it during and after".

He stopped. And I just looked at him and said "It's OK. I like you. Probably more than I should. My mom is a bitch. She treats you like shit. I don't understand why you do it, but you've said why you do, and I get it. I think it sucks, because she's my mom, and I love her, and you deserve more, but I guess you do what you wanna do"

He started moving again, and I felt him getting harder inside me. It was so tight, and he was so big, and he just said "let's not talk about that right now. I want to talk about you" and he started kissing me. Good lord, he felt so good. I was tightening up, and I was almost crying with being so turned on. And a minute later, I felt him gasp, and I heard him say "oh good god. I'm going to cum" and he let loose. I felt him squirting it in me, and he just kept going. And when he finally stopped, he just laid there on top of me, and looked at me. He said "sorry. I didn't mean to, you know, so quick. But I couldn't stop thinking about you. It shouldn't be that way"

I just looked at him and said "It's OK. I mean, I like being with you, around you and stuff, and I don't wanna sound like a creep, but when we have more time, I wanna do more than just this". He was shocked and said "why?" and I told him. I said "because I like you a lot more than like you. And even if it's secret, and we can't tell anyone, I guess I like the thought of being with you. Like being all with you"

He got up, and he kissed me. He pulled up his shorts and his shirt, and he wrapped his arms around me. He smiled and said 'thanks. You're a great kid. Can we talk in the morning?" I just laughed and said "Yeah. We'll be home alone, so we can more than talk if you want"

I should feel like shit. But I don't like the way my mom treats him, and he's really nice to me. I know he likes me, but he's my step dad, and it's kind of fucked up that way..