Straight Male / 52
To say I hate my neighbor is an understatement. More accurately I hate my neighbors. Across the street is an undeveloped parcel of woods. To my left is a cemetery. To my right is my asshole neighbors and behind me is more undeveloped woods. I moved to this spot because it was isolated and quiet. You can't have nicer neighbors than the ones buried in a cemetery. But then a couple of years after I moved in the land to my right was sold to a developer who built a McMansion there and sold it to the first yuppie couple who threw a million dollars at them.
So why do I hate these assholes? Because I wanted peace and quiet and they are as noisy as they come. When they aren't running power tools or the lawn mowers or some other noise maker they are running their ghetto blasters at fifty thousand decibels. I'm not exaggerating. All my windows facing their side have shattered and I have had to wall them all up. Sound proofing my rooms has done nothing to keep the sound down. Even with ear plugs and sound dampening head phones I still get head aches from the loud noises.
Calling the police has done nothing. They have made friends with the cops who treat me like a crack pot. So I had to get rid of them. My first thought involved committing a series of felonies. I decided against that as I cold not figure out how to do that without leaving evidence behind. But then I saw a show on TV about new sonic weapons. I searched the internet and found a few possible candidates for what I wanted. I narrowed it down to two possibilities. One was far too big and way too expensive. the other was small and inexpensive but would not have either the range nor intensity that I was seeking. So I purchased a dozen of the smaller ones and set them strategically at the property line and aimed them at their house at windows, two to a room. I wired them to my outside line and then went in the house and put in earplugs and on the sound dampening head phones and turned on the switch. They had been so busy with their party and loud ghetto music they didn't notice me at the property line installing the sonic weapons. It didn't take long. First their guests started to trickle out of the house, some staggered and some vomited and some did both. Then my neighbors themselves staggered out. So I shut off the device and waited. Sure enough they came back with the police who looked around, shrugged their shoulders and left. They hadn't even bothered to look in my direction. I know, I was monitoring them with binoculars. The moment the cops were gone I turned the devices back on. Sure enough my neighbors staggered out of their house again. The wife was holding her head screaming. I didn't shut if off until they were in their car driving away.
I camped out in the living room which faced their property. I kept my lights off. They brought the cops back again who just walked around the house and their yard but didn't look my way the whole time. As soon as they were gone again I turned the device back on.
Over the next couple of weeks they came back with various official looking experts. Some times with people who looked like technicians holding various devices walking all around. One looked like a state trooper. I think one was a medium, they were dressed in a kind of goth dress and again nobody even looked in my direction the whole time. Every time the expert or cop or whatever left, I turned the devices back on.
I was elated the day I saw the "for sale" sign go up. I kept the device off every time a real estate agent brought potential buyers over. Meanwhile the couple moved out. The night they moved out I pulled my devices out of their hidden spots and packed the gear up and stored it in the attic.
Happily the new family that moved in is very quiet. It's a nice couple in their thirties with two little girls. One girl sits in the back yard for hours at a time gardening and the other is a reader. Best of all the only music I hear from any of them is classical and they keep it down fairly soft. I've actually been tempted to go over and ask them to turn it up a little since it is so pleasant. We've since become pretty good friends and I hope they never move out.
So why do I hate these assholes? Because I wanted peace and quiet and they are as noisy as they come. When they aren't running power tools or the lawn mowers or some other noise maker they are running their ghetto blasters at fifty thousand decibels. I'm not exaggerating. All my windows facing their side have shattered and I have had to wall them all up. Sound proofing my rooms has done nothing to keep the sound down. Even with ear plugs and sound dampening head phones I still get head aches from the loud noises.
Calling the police has done nothing. They have made friends with the cops who treat me like a crack pot. So I had to get rid of them. My first thought involved committing a series of felonies. I decided against that as I cold not figure out how to do that without leaving evidence behind. But then I saw a show on TV about new sonic weapons. I searched the internet and found a few possible candidates for what I wanted. I narrowed it down to two possibilities. One was far too big and way too expensive. the other was small and inexpensive but would not have either the range nor intensity that I was seeking. So I purchased a dozen of the smaller ones and set them strategically at the property line and aimed them at their house at windows, two to a room. I wired them to my outside line and then went in the house and put in earplugs and on the sound dampening head phones and turned on the switch. They had been so busy with their party and loud ghetto music they didn't notice me at the property line installing the sonic weapons. It didn't take long. First their guests started to trickle out of the house, some staggered and some vomited and some did both. Then my neighbors themselves staggered out. So I shut off the device and waited. Sure enough they came back with the police who looked around, shrugged their shoulders and left. They hadn't even bothered to look in my direction. I know, I was monitoring them with binoculars. The moment the cops were gone I turned the devices back on. Sure enough my neighbors staggered out of their house again. The wife was holding her head screaming. I didn't shut if off until they were in their car driving away.
I camped out in the living room which faced their property. I kept my lights off. They brought the cops back again who just walked around the house and their yard but didn't look my way the whole time. As soon as they were gone again I turned the device back on.
Over the next couple of weeks they came back with various official looking experts. Some times with people who looked like technicians holding various devices walking all around. One looked like a state trooper. I think one was a medium, they were dressed in a kind of goth dress and again nobody even looked in my direction the whole time. Every time the expert or cop or whatever left, I turned the devices back on.
I was elated the day I saw the "for sale" sign go up. I kept the device off every time a real estate agent brought potential buyers over. Meanwhile the couple moved out. The night they moved out I pulled my devices out of their hidden spots and packed the gear up and stored it in the attic.
Happily the new family that moved in is very quiet. It's a nice couple in their thirties with two little girls. One girl sits in the back yard for hours at a time gardening and the other is a reader. Best of all the only music I hear from any of them is classical and they keep it down fairly soft. I've actually been tempted to go over and ask them to turn it up a little since it is so pleasant. We've since become pretty good friends and I hope they never move out.
