I know I am screwed, and I have to live with my past mistakes. I accepted to live with a man in return for keeping house for him, and giving him access when wanted. At the time it was a good deal and I thought that giving him sex was not going to be a problem, I would just suffer through it but I would have a place to live and my daughter would have a place to live.

I don't have another option, either I live here with him and now I have to sleep with him, or I will have to go to a shelter. My daughter is happy here, she likes her school, she has friends, the house we live in is nice, it is just that the rent I have to pay is way over the top.

How much do I have to sacrifice for my daughter, that is what I ask myself every time he gets off of me. He wants it every night almost, at least two or three times a week. And when I say sleep with him, it means sleep with him, under his arm, with his whole body weight against me holding me down.

I am 38 and he would be thrilled, his words, to find out that I was in the motherly way. He is going to turn 50 and what he wants for his birthday is an announcement that I am pregnant.