Sex Confession #235 | Adult Confessions

- Anything Goes -

I am a 20 year-old African-American man who has some issues. Growing up in a big city I didn't have a lot of friends (which isn't unusual for many people). I would get picked on or people just didn't want to hang out with me because I wasn't into a lot of foolishness. Back in the Summer of 1998, when I was 14 I went to this summer camp and met a White girl (who was the same age) and she liked me for me. (I know you are wondering why I included race into this but read on). The relationship wasn't romantic but it was just a good friendship. The reason why I know she was a good friend is because she came to my defense when I got into a altercation with another boy and she didn't have to do that. No one had ever done that for me(before or after I met her). When the camp ended I was very sad because I knew I would never see her again and the reason why I didn't get her phone number is because my parents didn't want me dealing with a White girl. In early 2000, I moved to the rural south where I had a lot of relatives. After settling down there, my own relatives didn't want to hang around me. The Black and Hispanic girls (in school or wherever) didn't want to befriend or date me because I wasn't a thug. What made it so bad is some of these girls are sitting in church and one I really liked was a girl who wanted to be a preacher but she wouldn't at least befriend me because I didn't fit a thug profile. I had some White girls(more of them wanted to be bothered with me than my own race or other women of color) flirt with me but I couldn't deal with them because of my parents. In 2004 (while in community college) I am still mad with my parents for not letting me stay in touch with the girl I met in 1998. So mad that I can punch a hole in the wall. In my case of not having any friends or girlfriends, they should have let me hang out with her. I'm not saying that I never had problems out of white people because I had but at the same time that was a different situation and race shouldn't have mattered in my case. I never told them how I felt because I was afraid they was just going to shit on whatever I said about the matter. She was a true friend that I had thought about since the day we parted company. I haven't met no one like that since and get madder each day. How should I cope?

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# 235 - by Anonymous / December 7, 2004

Comments

by Anonymous on Dec 7, 2004 at 6:22 PM

First off you said it yourself, race should not be an issue in your story. However, you choose to make it an issue because you wanted to make your point. From what I gather, your point is, Black girls etc, don't want you but white girls do and you fit in better with them..(or something like that). Look, the girl at the camp just happened to be white, a black girl could have befriended you just the same, but would you have remembered her?

I think you just flat out want to date white women, but don't know how to come out and say so.

Another thing, How many black girls want to date "thugs"? It must be the area you're looking, stop generalizing and stop blaming your parents. If you want to date white women just do so, Do not ever put Black women down to justify that.

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by Anonymous on Dec 8, 2004 at 8:06 AM

Reply for message 1295:
First of all, I wasn't saying that all Black girls on this planet were into thugs. Its just for some reason everywhere I go I run into these girls that are into thugs. Its seems like you like thugs because you wouldn't have been offended if you wasn't.

Second of all, I'm not saying that all white girls are good. I had a few run ins with white girls but at the same time I ran into more of them that like me than Black girls or other girls of color.

And third of all, I wouldn't care if the girl that I met in 1998 was White, Black, Asian, or whatever. The point was she was White and I wasn't allowed to talk or hang out with her because of that. If she was Black I wouldn't be posting messages on this website because we would have hung out together. So please don't say I'm trying to tear down Black girls because my mother is Black and I proud of it.

by Anonymous on Dec 8, 2004 at 9:05 AM

No! I do not like thugs or find them appealing. You said you ran into a lot of black girls that are into thugs??? Well, you would be surprised to know there are many young white women that are into the "thug" trend. You only seem to see what you want. Like I said in my original response to you, it's where you are looking.

Did it ever occur to you why Black girls may not give you that much attention? perhaps they already sensed your pre-set judgmental attitude against them.

Yes, always be proud of your Black mother but don't forget your black sisters, we don't have it any easier!

by Anonymous on Dec 8, 2004 at 9:42 AM

It sounds to me like you're a nice, decent guy, and whether you're black or white or whatever, lots of girls don't want to be bothered with decent, nice men. But they will, when they finally grow up and realise that the thugs will always be thugs.

As for your family, well, that just proves that racism exists throughout the color spectrum, and sometimes I think people, especially minorities, forget that. I'm sorry you were a victim of it.

There are no short term answers, except; stay true to yourself, and stop looking for something to happen, because when you stop looking, that's when it usually happens.

Hang in there.

by Anonymous on Dec 8, 2004 at 1:09 PM

Reply for Message 1297:

In closing ,if you are not in my situation, you just don't understand. I try to welcome new people into my life with open arms, I ask Black girls out, but every one I ran into and other girls of color, they either look at me like I am crazy or talk to me like I am lower than shit. You just have to be around me. I realize that there are White girls that like thugs too (because I seen them in person) but so far I haven't ran into any on a first name basis.

Just answer me this, do you think its right for a girl of my own race whose an aspiring preacher and a (supposedly) child of GOD to not at least befriend someone because he's not a thug?

by Anonymous on Dec 8, 2004 at 1:10 PM

Reply for Message 1298:

THANKS!

by Anonymous on Dec 8, 2004 at 4:38 PM

I do sympathize with you in general and I too think you may be a nice guy. However, with respect to your consciousness of race, it puts me to wonder if you are just using race rejection as an excuse. One or two black girls in one area do not represent all. You are still young, perhaps you need to travel. Then again, your mind is so made up, wherever you go you will still have issues with black girls. It seems you are not going to be satisfied with yourself unless you end up with a white girl. That my dear boy is sad, stop looking at color.

To 1298: Black minorities are more accepting to interracial relationships than any other race. If you don't think that is correct, then just take a good look around.

by Anonymous on Dec 8, 2004 at 6:21 PM

Reply for Message 1301:

You are right about one thing, I do need to travel more. But again, for some reason so far I haven't ran into the Black girl or other girl of color that likes me. And I will never feel guilty about liking the girl I met in 1998 because again, I wouldn't care what color she was, the point was she was a good friend that I wish I had stayed in contact with. But because she was White my parents didn't want me dealing with her. Anyway, thanks for saying that I am a nice person. I kind of enjoyed communicating with you and you seem like a nice person. This was very therapeutic.

by Anonymous on Jun 26, 2005 at 11:32 AM

another sell out black man making excuses to date white women...I am far from a teenager ..but most black women I know are looking for a decent man, thats all a decent man with a job who's respctable. your family in the south probably has issues, because when some of them were growing up they could not even look at a white person much less think about dating them. Now thats reversed and white women are looking for their black buck in droves..you just want to be a fantasy..they are waiting for you.

by Anonymous on Sep 9, 2005 at 1:02 AM

Something's wrong here.
I just can't believe that ALL of the Black women in your area only are interested in 'thugs'.
Maybe you're a geek or look like one.
White girls are more tolerant of that personality type that Black girls.
I've also never seen a Black woman who was a fag had, but I've seen plenty of White ones; get my drift?

by Anonymous on Sep 18, 2005 at 5:55 PM

"Maybe you're a geek or look like one.
White girls are more tolerant of that personality type that Black girls.
I've also never seen a Black woman who was a fag had, but I've seen plenty of White ones; get my drift?"

You see people, people that say stuff like this is the reason why CRACK WHORES shouldn't have children.

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